My Ways

I just gotta say some of my siblings and I watched the movie you recommended, it was so good. We've seen a bunch of the Christiano films and I like most of them. Thanks for the suggestion.

Thank you for your prayers.

You're welcome.

Something interesting happened to me last night after we had finished conversing. I did pray for you, but I couldn't help but notice that I was actually excited to pray for you. As I was pondering that in my mind, I felt the Lord heavily impress this upon me:

Hebrews 2:17
Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people.

Hebrews 2:18
For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.

And this:

Hebrews 4:15
For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Christ, our high priest who forever lives to make intercession for us, does it mercifully and faithfully because he is touched with the feelings of our infirmities or because he was in all points tempted as we are during his incarnation. I guess that we would call that "empathy" today. I felt that the Lord wanted to show me two things through these verses:

1. That when we can empathize with what others are going through, then faithful and merciful intercession is the outcome. In this particular case, I understand your pain, having experienced it so many times myself, and that creates a desire within my to intercede on your behalf.

2. This second one, I believe, God was showing me that I still need help with. In other words, I felt as if God was showing me that I still don't realize how much Christ empathizes with my own trials and temptations. Kind of like you questioning if God loves you when you were going through your own ordeals.

Anyway, you've got at least two people praying for you, with Christ being one of the two. Like he prayed for Peter in the past, I believe that he won't allow your faith to fail. You're not alone in your struggle. I hope that you can find some encouragement in that.

We can get caught up with people and things and become very attached to them.

The first commandment is to love God above all with heart soul and mind. If we have our hearts attached to Him we will have His peace and stability. Our life focus being stayed on Him, nothing else comes close to the importance of loving Him and His love for you. Your mother was right to tell you to look beyond the transitory. However even in the transitory He can be everything and He will love you. Nothing else is as wonderful.

I dont feel like a hypocrite because i have been forgiven of my sins, the ones I am conscious of. I asked Him forgiveness. I had one besetting sin that was painful to give up, but He was there through the pain, and i discovered i loved Him far more than the sin. I look forward to the temptation because I know He will deliver me and His presence is pleasure and delight.

When i compare myself to His blinding righteousness, i feel i am almost in Mary Magdalens skin, grateful to be forgiven, and loving Him. I know i am very far from the righteousness He is.

I hope He reveals the sins i am not conscious of so i can ask to be forgiven of those sins to.. He is much less interested in those hidden sins and far more interested in loving me greatly and telling me i am precious to Him. I feel very loved by Him.

My relationship started lots if years ago when i realized (after asking) was their anything true about what was said at my church. I then found studying the scriptures intensively for a few years, finally understanding what it meant. Then i realized in worshiping God that He was present when I worshipped Him. In recent years He told me He loved me and I loved Him (while worshipping). After that i realized hiw greatly He loved me. That i love Him is His holy spirit in me and my response to His love to me.

If you draw close to Him, He will draw close to you. For me all of what i said took almost 75 years. Be patient. Continuous in studying about Him, speaking to Him, and worshipping Him because He deserves it, not for experiencing Him (although it often happens). He will take care of surprising you when you don’t expect it, enveloping you with His embrace.

Keep as much as possible the thought of Him present with you. In other words before His eyes. As much as possible worship in your heart. I listen to streaming worship hymns a great deal of the time because He is deserving of it.

That is so touching, and encouraging. I so much appreciate your prayers.
I'm so sorry you've had to face most of your trials alone, I can hardly imagine that. I don't know what I would have done without caring friends and family, their prayers and listening ears.
Another passage that comes to mind herewith what you said is 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. It's amazing how much of an encouragement you've been to me already, a faceless, nameless person on the internet!

I'm also happy that you're encouraged, but, like you said yourself the other day, it's really God working through us when we're used in a good manner.

It was, and, in a very real sense, still is a very long, difficult, and trying time. However, in retrospect, I definitely see the Lord's hand in it. Probably the best thing that I could compare it to in scripture would be this:

Deuteronomy 8:2
And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.

Deuteronomy 8:3
And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.

Unlike the wilderness journey of the Israelites, mine was just me and the LORD, but it was definitely a very prolonged period of time in which the LORD humbled me, proved me, and showed me what was in my heart in order to see if I would keep his commandments or not. My only real "food" during that whole ordeal was "manna" in that it signifies the true bread which came down from heaven or Jesus Christ. I now know, of a certainty, that I can only live by every word which proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD, so I'm better off for having endured what I did, even if I barely made it through by the skin of my teeth.

Yes, 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 is a very relevant portion of scripture, and one that I've meditated upon often. I'm happy to see that you know the word because it's something that we all need to sustain us, and not only in times of trial.

I'm also happy that you're encouraged, but, like you said yourself the other day, it's really God working through us when we're used in a good manner. I also hope you know that the encouragement isn't anywhere near being simply one-sided. In other words, the things that you've shared on this forum have been a great source of encouragement and comfort for me for many different reasons.

I'm sorry. I try to watch over my words very carefully, and I didn't really like the way that this sounded after I posted it. I wasn't suggesting that I don't care about your well-being also myself because I do. Instead, I was just seeking to give the glory to God for fashioning that type of a heart within me. I hope that makes sense.

When my daughter moved out of the house I just had a cat to keep me company and then the cat got sick and I had to put him down. I came home and it was so quiet and I felt alone so alone but God reminded me that He is always with me and I actually stopped feeling lonely from then on. To realize that I am not alone that He is with me was amazing.

When I contemplate God I am very much in awe of Him so not sure if that is love or not but it is very much a deep respect for Him and thankfulness of what He has done for me.

He loves us with infinite love. In our language is crazy about us. He pursues us as our lover, so tenderly loving us.

I saw your post about paid subscriptions, but it is closed to further comments. How do I become a paid subscriber here? Do you have a link for that? Thank you.