The sin of refusing sex

[Polar]

(and now carried over to a brand new thread by implication)

What?

 

[Live4Him3]

What?

https://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/lets-talk-sex-from-a-biblical-view.205674/

 

[Polar]

For whatever it's worth, and I simply say this as an honest Christian man with no other ulterior motives whatsoever, I, too, believe that some outlandish accusations have wrongly been leveled against you here (and now carried over to a brand new thread by implication). I've read the same posts of yours that they've read (assuming that they're actually reading them before responding to them), and I don't see even a hint of the things that they've accused you of in your actual words.

My advice to you is to simply look up, as Jesus did when he was being reviled, unto him that judges righteously.

God knows what you've said and haven't said, and also the motives behind the same.

His is the only judgment which will matter in the end.

I Peter chapter 2

[21] For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
[22] Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
[23] Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
[24] Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

P.S.

Maybe they're just allergic to bears...lol.

In agreement. I had actually prayed (not fervently, but I did pray) that God would send someone who would see things fairly and not necessarily take my side, but see what was really going on with a couple of people here and what they were doing and perhaps say something about it. Seems God did indeed (always does) see what was going on and I am not at all angry but I am, once again, questioning what is going on with Christians.

Thank you for this kind post.

 

[Polar]

https://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/lets-talk-sex-from-a-biblical-view.205674/

The thing with God is that He will allow us to go and do whatever and He will not even always tap us on the shoulder about it if we have shown over and over it does not matter if He does try to get our attention. God is good. All the time.

Interesting how things evolved. I have a tendency to walk away from such needless conflict but I felt I should just continue even though it was out of my comfort zone. What a world.

 

[Live4Him3]

In agreement. I had actually prayed (not fervently, but I did pray) that God would send someone who would see things fairly and not necessarily take my side, but see what was really going on with a couple of people here and what they were doing and perhaps say something about it. Seems God did indeed (always does) see what was going on and I am not at all angry but I am, once again, questioning what is going on with Christians.

Thank you for this kind post.

You're welcome, but there's really no need for you to thank me.

Depending on how long I stick around this time, you'll more than likely see me stick my neck out quite a bit on this forum when I deem it necessary to do so. Never to harm anybody, but always to hopefully help somebody.

You weren't the initial reason that I joined this thread, but you could definitely use a bodyguard here...lol.

The Grizzly Bear to the rescue!!!



P.S.

I'm really just a teddy bear in a Grizzly Bear suit, but don't tell anybody.

 

[Live4Him3]

The thing with God is that He will allow us to go and do whatever and He will not even always tap us on the shoulder about it if we have shown over and over it does not matter if He does try to get our attention. God is good. All the time.

Interesting how things evolved. I have a tendency to walk away from such needless conflict but I felt I should just continue even though it was out of my comfort zone. What a world.

I could easily tell you what the real underlying issue here is, but I'll just pray for everyone involved instead (including myself, of course).

What a world, indeed.

I learned a longgggggggggg time ago that my spiritual armor is most needed in "Christian" settings.

Anyhow, I think that enough has already been said on this thread, so I'll more than likely just focus my attention elsewhere going forward.

Have a blessed night.

 

[Polar]

You're welcome, but there's really no need for you to thank me.

Depending on how long I stick around this time, you'll more than likely see me stick my neck out quite a bit on this forum when I deem it necessary to do so. Never to harm anybody, but always to hopefully help somebody.

You weren't the initial reason that I joined this thread, but you could definitely use a bodyguard here...lol.

The Grizzly Bear to the rescue!!!



P.S.

I'm really just a teddy bear in a Grizzly Bear suit, but don't tell anybody.

Oh I never thought you did join having anything to do with me. Never entered my thoughts. But God knows our thoughts and I guess He figured you would be fair in your assessment and that is all I wanted.

 

[Polar]

I could easily tell you what the real underlying issue here is, but I'll just pray for everyone involved instead (including myself, of course).

What a world, indeed.

I learned a longgggggggggg time ago that my spiritual armor is most needed in "Christian" settings.

Anyhow, I think that enough has already been said on this thread, so I'll more than likely just focus my attention elsewhere going forward.

Have a blessed night.

Absolutely agree and I could pin it down myself and beat all around the bush, which I did, without actually hitting the vulture...er bird.

You have it right when you state we need that spiritual armor more in Churchianity Christian settings than in other places without that religious spirit screaming about how righteous it is.

You also have a blessed night and a good night's sleep.

 

[Live4Him3]

Oh I never thought you did join having anything to do with me. Never entered my thoughts. But God knows our thoughts and I guess He figured you would be fair in your assessment and that is all I wanted.

I definitely believe that God lured me back to this forum (despite my consequential kicking and screaming...lol).

I really feel that he wanted me involved in this thread, and also in another that I've yet to join.

Not really looking forward to that one either, but God's will be done.

What I really need is a vacation.

Some people here might be willing to pay for it...lol.

 

[Polar]

I definitely believe that God lured me back to this forum (despite my consequential kicking and screaming...lol).

I really feel that he wanted me involved in this thread, and also in another that I've yet to join.

Not really looking forward to that one either, but God's will be done.

What I really need is a vacation.

Some people here might be willing to pay for it...lol.

Yeah well, I will beat you to the GoFundMe site if you don't mind. (jking) We live in a great rural setting and it is very peaceful here. Almost a staycation as they say but I really like to travel and see new stuff but we are still updating our 1975 home and repairing what needs repairing.

A vacation would do us well, but in time I hope. Don't tell anyone, but I have left here and come back myself. I keep trying to avoid posting without getting those x's haha....so far so good but I'm not holding my breath.

Remember your armor for the other thread. Polish it even. Got some serious dents in mine, lessons learned the hard way.

 

[Ilive4Jesus]

I look at the avatar pic more than the name

I do too, that's why when people change their pics or go to a letter it throws me off.

 

[JohnDB]

Hey, kaylagrl.

This thread seems to be going nowhere fast, but I'll address your comments simply out of courtesy/respect, and then I'll probably just move away from this conversation.

When I said that you seemingly missed that part, I didn't mean that you hadn't quoted that particular verse. Instead, I meant that you and at least one other poster here seemed to be taking umbrage when Polar (and I, in turn) simply asked "Where is the love?" I felt, and still do feel, that her question was beyond legitimate because the passage does speak of "benevolence" which precedes the physical part of any sexual act that so many people here seemed to only be focusing upon.

Also, in my initial post here, a post in which I quoted you, I began with a disclaimer that I had only read about the first 4 pages of this thread and 2 or 3 pages leading up to your post which I quoted. I also plainly stated that I might be genuinely ignorant of a lot of what was said here for the aforementioned reason.

Hopefully, this clears up this part of your post.


A couple of things...

I'm not quite sure how you are equating "a healthy Christian marriage" with anything that I actually said. It seems to me, and I could be mistaken, based upon what you just said that by "healthy" you mean literally "healthy" as in no "health issues or past trauma". If such is indeed the case, then what in the world does that have to do with the "love" that seemed to be missing to both Polar and me?

Furthermore, even if you had said that you weren't discussing that, then what gives you or anybody else the right to get so bent out of shape when Polar or I brought up such an issue...an issue which is clearly included in the text at hand?

I have to say that I agree with Polar's assessment of you on this particular thread as far as having some sort of domineering attitude is concerned. This is a public forum, and all of the members are eligible to post on any given thread, and especially if their comments are in line with the actual topic of the thread, and both her comments and mine clearly were/are.

I mean, no offense, but drop the "Mother Superior" attitude here. I had enough of that when I went to Catholic school from 1st to 5th grade.

Also, although I'm not presently quoting him, JohnDB was totally out of line with some of his comments here as far as I'm concerned, so I'm a bit disappointed to see you in agreement with him.

The conclusions that the two of you have made in relation to Polar seem totally out of line to me, and I really don't think that either of you are seeing clearly right now as far as where she is concerned (not that I'm her spokesman...I don't even know anything about her, except for the few posts that I've read here).


Ironically, the one making assumptions (and off-the-wall assumptions at that) here is you.

First of all, I never "stopped listening", so you can drop that "maybe". Instead, as I clearly stated in my initial post here, I only read the first 4 pages or so of this thread, and then 2 or 3 pages leading up to the first post of yours that I quoted. I also mentioned at that time that I hadn't read any comments after that particular post as of yet, and I still haven't read some of them.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have all day to sit around reading a truckload of posts. I'm very busy with work and other matters, and I actually had the decency to give a plain disclaimer from my very first post here, so maybe it's you who needs to pay closer attention to what others here are saying.

Also, I never said that Polar was correct in all that she was saying, so you can drop that "maybe" as well. Instead, I simply agreed with her, and still do, that the aspect of "love" seemed to be missing from much of what you were saying. Again, to be fair to you, I haven't read all of your comments here, but I could easily cite some examples from the posts of yours that I actually have read.

Additionally, I both know you and have read many of your posts, and I haven't "taken sides" either...except that I'm always on the side of truth.

As another poster recently rightly noted, I've been here before as "Live4Him" and "Live4Him2", and you and I have conversed before both publicly and privately. Privately, especially in relation to a "porn addiction" thread from about a year or so ago in which I asked you to pray for a particular member who was posting here at that time.

I'd post an actual profile picture of myself to jog your memory, but in doing so I might cause some women here to abandon all of their sexual desires forever (after seeing my face), and I wouldn't want to carry that burden around with me (I'm joking, of course).


Again, I've read MANY of your posts before, and you've actually read quite a few of mine as well...and especially on the topic of marriage. If need be, then I can provide you links to some of them when I was posting here as "Live4Him".

As far as any "broader view" is concerned, I've simply been "broadening" much of what's been said here to include the much-needed aspect of love, and I've addressed that plainly more than once.

As far as "women rolling over" is concerned, I've addressed both women and men in my comments here.


I am a fair-minded and balanced person, and I stand right where I've stood all along.

On the side of LOVE within a marriage, and any sexual acts coming forth as a direct result of the same and not out of some lifeless command to "roll over".

Do you want to be well?
Why you do you dwell on sickness and dysfunction?

There is a million ways to screw up but very very few to get it right.

There's a million ways to create counterfeit money...but only one genuine article. I don't concern myself with trying to dispute or heal or excuse every type of mentally sick dysfunction out there...tell what the REAL THING is about. Ask God for healing. I can't heal anyone. But I know that I once was blind too...but now I see. Instead of trying to live with sick dysfunction try asking for healing. Seek out health.

It's extremely liberating.

 

[JohnDB]

If you believe trying to insert love and spiritual connection with the one you enjoy sex with is about dysfunction, then there is a problem with your ideas about marriage and all that entails.

You lie in all you have said towards me and for no reason. You have not contributed towards the op since I have posted in it, other than to bite and lie about me. I don't know who you are and I do not know why you would choose to be so unrighteous in what you have said to me.

This is supposed to be a Christian forum. Some of you seem to be unaware of that. I maintain that an individual who finds it healthy to be so nasty while declaring themself to be Christian, is not a happy person. There was no reason and there is no reason for you to go after me the way you have.

I don't care what you really believe because whatever it is, it is false.

There's a huge reason I make no sense to you....
And it doesn't have anything to do with me.
I know exactly what unconditional love is and I give it to Christians...especially my wife above all people and she takes second place to my Savior.

Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand.

 

[Live4Him3]

Do you want to be well?
Why you do you dwell on sickness and dysfunction?

There is a million ways to screw up but very very few to get it right.

There's a million ways to create counterfeit money...but only one genuine article. I don't concern myself with trying to dispute or heal or excuse every type of mentally sick dysfunction out there...tell what the REAL THING is about. Ask God for healing. I can't heal anyone. But I know that I once was blind too...but now I see. Instead of trying to live with sick dysfunction try asking for healing. Seek out health.

It's extremely liberating.

I have no idea what you're talking about (nor do you), and, quite frankly, you sound as if you're sick in the head.

Good night.

 

[JohnDB]

I have no idea what you're talking about (nor do you), and, quite frankly, you sound as if you're sick in the head.

Good night.

Oh I know exactly what unconditional love is...
And enjoy giving it out when it's safe to do so. (In healthy environments)

And it's sad that you can't, don't, and won't.

 

[Ilive4Jesus]

I have no idea what you're talking about

Sad to say but I don't think anyone has any idea what is being said here anymore..........
this thread is sooooooooooo far off course.

For those who may have only jumped in to read along the current events without back reading the beginning of this old thread (started in May of 2020!) the OP for this thread (quoted in full below) was a simple Bible verse.

I Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

I wonder if this thread will ever be able to get back to that?

 

[kaylagrl]

Also, although I'm not presently quoting him, JohnDB was totally out of line with some of his comments here as far as I'm concerned, so I'm a bit disappointed to see you in agreement with him.

I'm going to do a bit of an upside down cake here and answer this first. You did see where I told brother John I was going to tell him he was being a bit to harsh, until her last post to me.
In that post she ...

Asked if I was raised in an abusive home. Intimated that I did not love my husband, and the act of sex with him was a performance. That would akin to comparing me to a hooker. But I noticed you had no issue with what she said to me. Which was a lot more personal and disgusting than anything that was said to her. Luckily my husband isn't part of this forum. If you think I'm direct...

When I said that you seemingly missed that part, I didn't mean that you hadn't quoted that particular verse. Instead, I meant that you and at least one other poster here seemed to be taking umbrage when Polar (and I, in turn) simply asked "Where is the love?" I felt, and still do feel, that her question was beyond legitimate because the passage does speak of "benevolence" which precedes the physical part of any sexual act that so many people here seemed to only be focusing upon.

The OP is a Christian, he is married. I am a Christian. Why would either of you make the judgment that we didn't love our spouses? That there was no love? What ever would make you both jump to that conclusion?

I have to say that I agree with Polar's assessment of you on this particular thread as far as having some sort of domineering attitude is concerned. This is a public forum, and all of the members are eligible to post on any given thread, and especially if their comments are in line with the actual topic of the thread, and both her comments and mine clearly were/are.
I mean, no offense, but drop the "Mother Superior" attitude here. I had enough of that when I went to Catholic school from 1st to 5th grade.

No one stopped Polar from saying ever single thing she intended to say. I'm direct. If that was too much for either of you to handle you could have not answered my posts, not read the thread, put me on ignore. All sorts of options. I do find it interesting that you can see my flaws but none of Polars.

The conclusions that the two of you have made in relation to Polar seem totally out of line to me, and I really don't think that either of you are seeing clearly right now as far as where she is concerned (not that I'm her spokesman...I don't even know anything about her, except for the few posts that I've read here)
Ironically, the one making assumptions (and off-the-wall assumptions at that) here is you.
Additionally, I both know you and have read many of your posts, and I haven't "taken sides" either...except that I'm always on the side of truth.[/QUOTE]

Nor do I know Polar but for her posts here. She has been quite clear about her POV. Here's one...

There are plenty of reasons to say 'not tonight or this afternoon or not this morning dear. We are not robots. As it is, love covers a multitude of sins, so that should work for those who want sex no matter what just because you are married.

This where she got upset with me. I quoted what she said. There are plenty of reasons to refuse sex to your spouse. Do you agree that is a right and loving attitude to your spouse? Both of you talked about love. We are not robots she says then "that should work for those who want sex no matter what just because you are married." So it's wrong to expect to expect love making within your marriage?! Again, read Song of Solomon. That is a description of a Christian marriage.

She continued "Sex should not be the central theme in a marriage." Sex is as important as any other issue in a marriage. Don't think so, take a look at how many counselors are in your area. Guarantee you one of the top issues is sex.

And continuing "
I did not get married so that I could perform in bed. I am a person and my husband is a person., ....when he comes home, he likes to talk about his day. He is too tired to jump my bones.
Who mentioned "performing in bed"? She acts like someone told her to put a stripper pole in her bedroom! What does she mean by, my husband is a person. So what are we all married to if it's not people?! Then when she seems so puritan in the subject of love, intimacy, and sex she comes up with a comment I think is too vulgar to repeat. All over a very simple Bible verse. The you both ask ME where is the love? My soul!! I took Polar at her words above, gave her a chance to point out my misunderstanding. She didn't, she went full attack, and you say she has your blessing. Wow!!

As another poster recently rightly noted, I've been here before as "Live4Him" and "Live4Him2", and you and I have conversed before both publicly and privately. Privately, especially in relation to a "porn addiction" thread from about a year or so ago in which I asked you to pray for a particular member who was posting here at that time.[/QUOTE]

Yes, I recall that, and I kept that confidence till this moment and you can be assured I prayed for that member. But honestly, that still doesn't tell me who you are, not without a face. Sorry.

Again, I've read MANY of your posts before, and you've actually read quite a few of mine as well...and especially on the topic of marriage. If need be, then I can provide you links to some of them when I was posting here as "Live4Him".
[/QUOTE]


So then you know I've been pretty forthcoming about my marriage, about an abusive marriage my sister has suffered in. So then that makes me ask all the more, why would you assume I didn't know about love, when I have been so open in my former posts? And how could you think I thought so little of my marriage?! That's just stunning.

 

[kaylagrl]

I do too, that's why when people change their pics or go to a letter it throws me off.

Me too, Lady Blue is orange kitty. I would have to look twice if she changed it. There are others here that are the same. I almost want to ask them to change back.

 

[Polar]

No one stopped Polar from saying ever single thing she intended to say. I'm direct. If that was too much for either of you to handle you could have not answered my posts, not read the thread, put me on ignore. All sorts of options. I do find it interesting that you can see my flaws but none of Polars.

While you continue to falsely accuse and basically illustrate your lack of relationship with the truth.

you trippin'

 

[Polar]

No one stopped Polar from saying ever single thing she intended to say. I'm direct. If that was too much for either of you to handle you could have not answered my posts, not read the thread, put me on ignore. All sorts of options. I do find it interesting that you can see my flaws but none of Polars.

You told me I should perhaps leave the thread if I could not handle it, told me I hated sex and found it dirty. Told me vain imaginings that you are responsible for and that I never said. I think what irks you the most, is that while you just let it all hang out, I am discreet and do not air my privacy for others to read. It's none of your business how I behave with my husband. None of your business.

Discretion is actually something a Christian should practice. You are still telling me and now someone else, how we should behave here and what we should do. Perhaps, if you have relieved yourself of your drama and ill devised posts, you could do that yourself.

You contradict yourself in what you say. Take your own advice, do not read my posts or/and put me on ignore. Why should I not respond to your false words against me?

I do find it interesting that you can see my flaws but none of Polars

I find it more interesting that matters to you. IF it were true. You do seem to admit to having flaws though, which is actually expressed as sin in scripture and none of us are sinless or perfect in this world. We are perfect in Christ only and that is how God sees us.

It seems you have started a thread on sex in the BDF, so you can orchestrate people over there to your hearts' content. This person has no interest in more of what you have to offer.