Stewarding money

[JohnDB]

Maybe my original “dilemma”
what is a Christian woman to do with inheritance in “her” name when she wants to give back to Gods Kingdom
But her unbelieving spouse (sole income earner) does not necessarily agree with the amount to donate. (little to none)
Is she to submit to him (not give any of the money away) and serve the Lord in other ways or..??
I was never trying to get out of donating to a church or anything
I just feel limited that I can’t have freedom to do what my heart wants to because of my circumstances.

"The heart is deceitful above all else".

You gave God you...your whole life and lifetime.

Your husband is not being abusive. He is being prudent. (Huge difference between the two things) He is looking out for you and your entire family's best interest. (As he should...that is his Biblical mandate...whether he wants to believe it or not)

Money is such a small thing...and a one time gift isn't going to matter much in the grand scheme of things. God literally makes ALL gold. He is more than capable.
You aren't limited except in one minor way that you have been for a long time...so why the fuss about it now? Just because you are getting an inheritance? Because those who left it to you meant for it to be used like your husband is using it? And your husband sounds like he is being prudent.

 

[Lanolin]

I think keep it in the bank (in your name) until God is clear about what Hed like it for, but you do need to beware of charity scammers etc and not just donate to anyone who asks. I know some want a steady income stream but if you decide to sponsor a child or whatever, its often helpful that you invest long term than a big one off.

Look into 'angel investing' though it is a full time job managing money in this way. If you are given a budget yes you need to account for everything you spend, but you also have discretionary things that nobody needs to know about (this is why wealthy people hide things in offshore accounts) but often you dont tell people about this. Why because if people know you are financially rich, they tend to leach off you.

iNheritances happen to give (land and money) away after that person has died. If its from a will, has the testator said anything in writing what the money is to be used for? If not its yours.

 

[Lanolin]

In terms of budgeting or 'being a good steward' basically keep short accounts, do it monthly and yearly reports and keep on top of anything you spend. Keep receipts, its like anything.

I'm not sure if you and your husband have joint accounts or also keep separate accounts but if you both agree this can be a separate account for you then its fine rather than adding it to the joint account. if your husband suddenly recieved an inheritance like this, what would you do? Think about it. Obviously your benefactor wanted you to have it for whatver reason and since you are not earning, think its a good thing? They also didnt stipulate it was for your husband to handle, although you trust your hsuband to look after you, things can also change, people get made redundant, businesses close, people fall ill, so he may not be the earner ALL the time.

 

[AbidingInHim]

Nobody has yet posted any scripture pertaining to this apart from the parable

Have you talked to God about your dilemma? What wisdom does He give you? When does He expect you to give this money, and to whom?

Even if it was to accumulate interest in the bank until you are clear where He wants it to go, your intention is that He can use it. Which is good.

God loves a cheerful giver. He also applauds giving in secret so the right hand doesnt know what the left is doing. . But there is also the case of the couple Anais and Sapphira who pledged money but kept some back. If you say you are going to do something you keep your word which is also Christian.

As mothers naturally want to give everything to their children, and trust funds can be good to set them up in life, as is paying for a mortgage as being in debt for years can be a killer. But this also may mean children arent motivated to work for a living ...although on the other hand, they may be motivated to GOOD works.

This isnt just. any money that you earned its an inheritance. You may spend it any way you wish.

Where the Bible says to 'submit to your husband in the Lord' . Is your husband ....in the Lord? No? Will you wait until hes 'in the Lord' ?

What else will you do to serve the Lord. Giving money can be relatively easy. I also understand that you would rather it off your hands as managing it can be a big burden.

When I donate (time, money or goods) to things I tend to do it in secret and not let anyone else know that I was the one who gave it because it was mine to give. As far as I know an inheritance doesnt need to be shared with a husband.

I also know many family sets up trusts when they have excess to use to grant benefactors , beneficiaries are not usually anyone who already has money. Your husband doesnt need your money he has his own income, so why does he actually need to have any say on where it goes? . I dont quite understand this.

thank you for your input
yes I do pray about this and I pray for him
I feel I’m being tested
My convictions are that I should give
Your so right about giving money is easier than actually doing something that takes effort and time. I’ve thought about that a lot.
It would be helpful if anyone can give scripture on obeying husbands..but only in the Lord ?
So a b.a believer does not have to submit to a non believing spouse ? I was under the impression I am supposed to submit and be a witness. Win him to the Lord God willing.
As for the money yes it is “mine”
But is it? .. really?
We’re married and have three young children
He has supported our family wonderfully for over 14 years. We live comfortably and he’s responsible with finances.
So now that “I” have money am I to say hands off it’s mine and I will say what I’m going to do with it. I don’t feel that is right.
Yes he has his own income but we are married and we are one. So we should not have separate money I feel.

 

[HopeinHim98]

but we are married and we are one. So we should not have separate money I feel.

I think you're on the right track. Like Cameron said, obedience is better than sacrifice. Your husband may see your chaste behavior and be won to Christ. 1 Peter 3:1&2

 

[AbidingInHim]

I think keep it in the bank (in your name) until God is clear about what Hed like it for, but you do need to beware of charity scammers etc and not just donate to anyone who asks. I know some want a steady income stream but if you decide to sponsor a child or whatever, its often helpful that you invest long term than a big one off.

Look into 'angel investing' though it is a full time job managing money in this way. If you are given a budget yes you need to account for everything you spend, but you also have discretionary things that nobody needs to know about (this is why wealthy people hide things in offshore accounts) but often you dont tell people about this. Why because if people know you are financially rich, they tend to leach off you.

iNheritances happen to give (land and money) away after that person has died. If its from a will, has the testator said anything in writing what the money is to be used for? If not its yours.

Yes there’s no rush to decide right away
I am praying God will lead me. I know he will. There may be a bigger plan for me to do something or start something very good. I just don’t know right now what. The person who left the money to me did not specify anything. We do agree the majority will go to paying for Christian private school for the three kids.
You’re right about not telling people about being “financially rich” because it does come with serious baggage. I don’t want that.
I do feel like this is a burden.

 

[AbidingInHim]

"The heart is deceitful above all else".

You gave God you...your whole life and lifetime.

Your husband is not being abusive. He is being prudent. (Huge difference between the two things) He is looking out for you and your entire family's best interest. (As he should...that is his Biblical mandate...whether he wants to believe it or not)

Money is such a small thing...and a one time gift isn't going to matter much in the grand scheme of things. God literally makes ALL gold. He is more than capable.
You aren't limited except in one minor way that you have been for a long time...so why the fuss about it now? Just because you are getting an inheritance? Because those who left it to you meant for it to be used like your husband is using it? And your husband sounds like he is being prudent.

Yes!
If it was solely his decision he would want to invest in something and use the profit from that to pay the kids tuitions etc..
He defaults on the “all charities are usually scams”
He thinks me wanting to donate any of the money is taking from our kids/our family and that’s wrong because they should have priority.
I agree to some extent that you should make sure your family’s needs are met before donating. Which they currently are.
My whole conviction is that if all the money just stays in our family for our comfort/security and none (or very little) goes to the Lord then am I failing?
I know God doesn’t NEED my money
I just feel keeping it all for our family is wrong and not the Christian thing to do.
This is the problem of being unequally yolked and one having a Christian world view and the other having a “self” world view.
And for clarity my husband is aware it’s in my name and he is not claiming it. But he has made it clear he thinks donating like say 10% of it would be absurd. If I did that he would be pretty upset. .5% to 1% maybe, idk.
So in that case do I just submit to him and even though I think the amount is small I should not protest it.
I suppose God knows my heart and what I would do with it if my circumstances were different. I want nothing more than to win my husband to the Lord. It would be a miracle and only by the hand of God. I made the mistake in the beginning trying to preach him. I only pushed him to the furthest point away and made things worse.
Now I know it’s for the Holy Spirit to do and I need to keep out of Gods business.
thanks for your reply. I agree with you saying money is a small thing and it doesn’t matter in the end. Most importantly our family needs to be at peace and I need to serve the Lord in other ways besides just donating money.

 

[Lanolin]

Isnt investing in a christian private school not just for your children but could also benefit others? there could be a scholarship or sponsorship for other children to have the opportunity to go to this school. Or maybe an extra school uniform paid for.

Jesus said if you have two coats give away one to someone who has none. I dont know if your husband would have an issue with this. Im not sure if this inheritance is enough to do that or is it just enough to pay for one child or three or four.

 

[Lanolin]

Libraries both public and schools appreciate funds/donations. You could also donate money to buy books for libraries in poorer countries but theres plenty of poverty and deprivation in your own communities.

But then I am a librarian so I do serve the needy. Even rich schools often dont have adequate budgets for their libraries/librarians. Public Libraries benefit everyone because anyone can use them..there are no barriers to access. But they are often reliant on councils holding the purse strings and often funds get spent on something else.

I dont know give to - something God places on your heart. Being a mother of course you think about your own children though plenty of children grow up without a parent. Surely your children might have friends that are not so well off and they may benefit from your largesse, if kept anonymous.

submiting to someone doesnt mean agreeing with everything they say. It just means giving them a proposal. Sometimes you WILL do absurd things. Just say, I know you think its absurd, but thats what I plan to do. Otherwise you could just give all your money to your husband cos you cant seem to handle it! Would that be good stewarding?

?? possibly lots of husbands would gasp after reading this. A wife deciding to do something with her own money who would have thought she had a brain?

 

[Lanolin]

Good book to read on topic, though its not an inheritance, its a story of a boy who finds a lot of money thrown off the back of a train and has only a month to spend it before they change the currency.

Millions by Frank Cotrell Boyce