Hugs my friend. I’m so sorry you’re going through this hard time.
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Need Encouragement
- Thread starter Roughsoul1991
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Hugs my friend. I’m so sorry you’re going through this hard time.
Brother, I understand your pain. I have had much loss, even now I am going through it again. I will share what has kept me going, learning to abide in our great God. I don't tell others how to live, as I have not quite figured it out. Meditate on Him and His Word. These last days of this age are getting more difficult, but we will make it IF we abide in Him. May God give you hope and strength every day.
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Besides praying to the Father in Jesus' name that He will touch your brother's heart and turn his perspective of life around, you might appeal to his love for you. At a tender moment when you two are together, express your love for him, what he means to you, that his agony is self-inflicted because of his misguided perspective and goal in life, and the secret to being at peace with yourself and the world is to love and be loved. Even though he might not believe , ask him to be with you when you pray to the Father, thanking Him for providing a means for finding peace in your life and that your brother find the peace of not living to elevate or glorify himself and the peace that comes from putting your trust in the Father's plan for our redemption through repentance for past mistakes, trust in Jesus' death for the forgiveness of sins, and the perfecting work of the Holy Spirit who fills our hearts with love. We please God when all our actions and thoughts are motivated by Love.
This might sound corny, get him to agree with you to divulge to each other at least one act or thought motivated by love on a regular basis and increase the list so that eventually he will realize the satisfaction that comes from giving and loving.
Just my thoughts.
This might sound corny, get him to agree with you to divulge to each other at least one act or thought motivated by love on a regular basis and increase the list so that eventually he will realize the satisfaction that comes from giving and loving.
Just my thoughts.
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Remember that you are human with human emotions. Fear is a natural response to certain situations but it can lead to a unhealthy response. Crying is often a route to healing or emotional release which is good. It can relieve stress or each tear is like a release of that pain or sorrow. It is our way of grieving. Jesus wept is one of the shortest verses in scripture. In your weakness is when He is strong. God loves you and knows you can handle what you are going through. Give it over to Him and let your weakness rest in Him where you receive the power of the Spirit and the peace that surpasses all understanding.
I speak to you as if speaking to myself. The trials have added up lately. 8 months ago we took in two troubled teens on top of our 3 young kids. Well this has led to me having to leave my church of 15 years due to the oldest being labeled as damaged beyond repair basically. So now we are in church limbo and I am trying to decide the next best move. Then the events in post 1 just all added up.
I speak to you as if speaking to myself. The trials have added up lately. 8 months ago we took in two troubled teens on top of our 3 young kids. Well this has led to me having to leave my church of 15 years due to the oldest being labeled as damaged beyond repair basically. So now we are in church limbo and I am trying to decide the next best move. Then the events in post 1 just all added up.
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Statistically a first attempt is followed by a second attempt within the first 6 months. If they are lucky enough, a third attempt is likely if the reason for the attempts has not been resolved. The lethality of the method tends to increase by each attempt. Maybe first it's pills then hanging, etc. If they are vocal about feeling terrible, that's a good thing. If they suddenly seem abundantly at peace, outwardly blissful, and talking about things that should happen after they die, that is a red flag. Especially if it happens around a holiday where they have the opportunity to say goodbye. Some people that attempt suicide are goal oriented and try to fix a situation by an unrealistically soon date. When they fail to meet that goal they attempt.
Watching a brother attempt suicide is exhausting. Living hours away and constantly driving down to see if they are OK can put strains on relationships close by. The horror of seeing your brother's dead body after a successful attempt is like a punch in the gut that never goes away. "What more should I have done? What warning sign did I miss? What was the solution that would have fixed his situation? Is he destined for hell for murdering himself?"
I don't necessarily have answers to the questions, but I know that faith fills in the hole in your heart if that day ever comes. Footprints on the beach. Take care of yourself. Hopefully you can bring your brother back into faith so that he may find healing too. But don't beat yourself up if God's plan doesn't save him for a third time.
Watching a brother attempt suicide is exhausting. Living hours away and constantly driving down to see if they are OK can put strains on relationships close by. The horror of seeing your brother's dead body after a successful attempt is like a punch in the gut that never goes away. "What more should I have done? What warning sign did I miss? What was the solution that would have fixed his situation? Is he destined for hell for murdering himself?"
I don't necessarily have answers to the questions, but I know that faith fills in the hole in your heart if that day ever comes. Footprints on the beach. Take care of yourself. Hopefully you can bring your brother back into faith so that he may find healing too. But don't beat yourself up if God's plan doesn't save him for a third time.
You are welcome 
You certainly have a lot on your plate:
aside from the cares of worrying about your brother, you
have your own children to care for, and you also put a great
deal of time and effort into your participation here. Perhaps
it is quite different for your brother if he suffers some incurable
chemical imbalance that really incapacitates him, making it near
impossible for him to function reasonably in this fallen world.
If that is not the case? Maybe he is more normal than he realizes
and is simply the author of his own destruction, as many of us have been.
I pray he learns to view himself in a more mature and responsible manner.
You certainly have a lot on your plate:aside from the cares of worrying about your brother, you
have your own children to care for, and you also put a great
deal of time and effort into your participation here. Perhaps
it is quite different for your brother if he suffers some incurable
chemical imbalance that really incapacitates him, making it near
impossible for him to function reasonably in this fallen world.
If that is not the case? Maybe he is more normal than he realizes
and is simply the author of his own destruction, as many of us have been.
I pray he learns to view himself in a more mature and responsible manner.
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You are welcome You certainly have a lot on your plate:
aside from the cares of worrying about your brother, you
have your own children to care for, and you also put a great
deal of time and effort into your participation here. Perhaps
it is quite different for your brother if he suffers some incurable
chemical imbalance that really incapacitates him, making it near
impossible for him to function reasonably in this fallen world.
If that is not the case? Maybe he is more normal than he realizes
and is simply the author of his own destruction, as many of us have been.
I pray he learns to view himself in a more mature and responsible manner.
You certainly have a lot on your plate:aside from the cares of worrying about your brother, you
have your own children to care for, and you also put a great
deal of time and effort into your participation here. Perhaps
it is quite different for your brother if he suffers some incurable
chemical imbalance that really incapacitates him, making it near
impossible for him to function reasonably in this fallen world.
If that is not the case? Maybe he is more normal than he realizes
and is simply the author of his own destruction, as many of us have been.
I pray he learns to view himself in a more mature and responsible manner.
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roughsoul
Your brother needs delieverance from depression, and a FAILED attempt is actually good news, because God is looking out for him and he still has his life to live.
So what we going to do is pray for this evil spirit of death to leave and the holy spirit of life to live in him instead. How. He must believe.
That he is in hospital and not hiding away somewhere (is this voluntary or involuntary?) surely means that he is willing to get better. What I would do is chat with the doctors and nurses treating him because YOU are his brother and know what he was like before he got ill, grew up with him, and might know a little about the traumas he may have faced, maybe he cant quite articulate that.
You say something about you dad having depression too. Thankfully there usually are chaplains or christian physicians in hospitals who do care about your brother, lets pray there are people around him who care that he can open up to, he is getting enough sleep, and eating properly.
There is no such thing as 'incurable chemical imbalance' that is complete rot I know! I went through this and came out the other side so, there is hope.
Your brother needs delieverance from depression, and a FAILED attempt is actually good news, because God is looking out for him and he still has his life to live.
So what we going to do is pray for this evil spirit of death to leave and the holy spirit of life to live in him instead. How. He must believe.
That he is in hospital and not hiding away somewhere (is this voluntary or involuntary?) surely means that he is willing to get better. What I would do is chat with the doctors and nurses treating him because YOU are his brother and know what he was like before he got ill, grew up with him, and might know a little about the traumas he may have faced, maybe he cant quite articulate that.
You say something about you dad having depression too. Thankfully there usually are chaplains or christian physicians in hospitals who do care about your brother, lets pray there are people around him who care that he can open up to, he is getting enough sleep, and eating properly.
There is no such thing as 'incurable chemical imbalance' that is complete rot I know! I went through this and came out the other side so, there is hope.
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as for the economy, poor leadership and foreign threats ...well you cant do anything about where you live as God has appointed the times and places where we are to be.
However, think of how Daniel stayed faithful to God in spite of being taken captive with a megalomaniac ruler and got by even when thrown to the lions, his friends being put in the furnace, and getting into trouble praying. Oh and he refused rich foods as well. God gave Daniel amazing visions and he could interpret dreams. God has something for you to do and a purpose in spite of all those struggles.
However, think of how Daniel stayed faithful to God in spite of being taken captive with a megalomaniac ruler and got by even when thrown to the lions, his friends being put in the furnace, and getting into trouble praying. Oh and he refused rich foods as well. God gave Daniel amazing visions and he could interpret dreams. God has something for you to do and a purpose in spite of all those struggles.
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Instead of ending his life, maybe he should be encouraged to just give it up to God to use for His purpose. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Loving and helping people will give him the feeling of worth that he longs for. If possible you two need live closer so that you can comfort him and hug him in person.
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R
This guy Jeremiah klaas has an encouraging testimony of change in his life. He was on drugs, alcohol, depression etc, mental institutions, multiple sclerosis and aged care homes (because the did not know where to put him). I posted it at his testimony. Goes for about 20 mins. He is very down to earth, maybe your brother may get some encouragement.
Your heart is in the right place and Godspeed the love in your heart that it reaches others in need. A puzzle I was never able to answer in my head was what if the suicidal person believes that they are fulfilling God's will by attempting to take themselves out of the picture? Some lines that were said in defense of that idea were "God hates a coward" (from an RC church sermon) and "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13 KJV (life insurance payouts for the benefit of others). I knew a brother in Christ that committed suicide and held the belief that they should follow the signs put in front of him. Whether it was a friend in his life giving an opinion, a sign on the road, a sickness, or a betrayal, he felt that it was a message about how to live his life. He had his share of vices and was open about them but at the end of the day he had love in his heart and was the kind of guy that would stick his neck out for anyone that needed help. I'm not sure if his final moments were seen as an open test to God ("if I live through this, it is a sign that I have a purpose") or if he did so in self punishment ("these bad times are a result of my failings and are worthy of death. I will be my own executioner for the verdict clearly laid before me") or if it was just to escape the overwhelming heartache of watching everything he had built crumble to dust ("in my death the future of my children will be secure"). Maybe it was a mix of everything.
He would come to me and pick my brain about how to fix his situation (money, health, unfaithful spouse). We would spend hours in the night brainstorming. I would throw forward any hairbrained idea I could think of to make sense of how he could accomplish his goals in such a short period of time. He saw that it was affecting me and in kindness said "that idea will work" and left it at that. I sensed that he wasn't being forthright but I vainly hoped that even if we didn't figure out the big picture together that the conversation would lead him in the right direction to discover a solution for himself. I had faith that his own faith and hope would win out in his internal battle.
It's taken me years to try to come to terms with his decision. Years trying to figure out after the fact how he could have solved his earthly situation (I still have no solution). Years struggling with the hole in my heart. I turned more to faith as a result of his death (or maybe Christ just carried my burden in my time of need). A part of me doesn't understand how my brother's path wasn't the same. A part of me wonders if his path was part of God's plan. Did he lose his faith and fall away? Or was his suicide a faithful embrace that it was what God wanted? I would go to hell and back for that man. I wish I had known the words to say to him to change his mind. But maybe it was God's plan to send him back home when his mission was complete. I've been lost in thought on this topic for years.
He would come to me and pick my brain about how to fix his situation (money, health, unfaithful spouse). We would spend hours in the night brainstorming. I would throw forward any hairbrained idea I could think of to make sense of how he could accomplish his goals in such a short period of time. He saw that it was affecting me and in kindness said "that idea will work" and left it at that. I sensed that he wasn't being forthright but I vainly hoped that even if we didn't figure out the big picture together that the conversation would lead him in the right direction to discover a solution for himself. I had faith that his own faith and hope would win out in his internal battle.
It's taken me years to try to come to terms with his decision. Years trying to figure out after the fact how he could have solved his earthly situation (I still have no solution). Years struggling with the hole in my heart. I turned more to faith as a result of his death (or maybe Christ just carried my burden in my time of need). A part of me doesn't understand how my brother's path wasn't the same. A part of me wonders if his path was part of God's plan. Did he lose his faith and fall away? Or was his suicide a faithful embrace that it was what God wanted? I would go to hell and back for that man. I wish I had known the words to say to him to change his mind. But maybe it was God's plan to send him back home when his mission was complete. I've been lost in thought on this topic for years.
Hi Jocund. Thank you for sharing your story concerning your friend who committed suicide. I empathize with your sorrow in losing your friend to suicide and in asking yourself if you could have done or said something different to prolong his life.
His problem was similar to Roughsoul's brother. The problem is their perspective of what life is all about. It is about loving God first ( you make a commitment in your belief that the God of the Bible is real and that this life on the earth is temporary and you trust in His plan for the forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ and the perfecting of the saints through His Holy Spirit), and then loving everyone else. You might not love what they do or even want to associate with them, but you can still love them and pray that God will change them. I repeat: " Loving and helping people will give the feeling of worth to himself, God, and the people that are helped.
You have to trust Romans 8: 28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Maybe God's purpose for your friend was to bring you closer to Him. We don't know. All that we can do is trust that our God is a good, just, merciful, loving, all knowing, all powerful God who knows what He is doing. It is this trust that will free you from the burden that weighs heavy in your heart. You should take your own advice: " Don't beat yourself up if your plans don't coincide with God's. God bless you and keep you Brother.
His problem was similar to Roughsoul's brother. The problem is their perspective of what life is all about. It is about loving God first ( you make a commitment in your belief that the God of the Bible is real and that this life on the earth is temporary and you trust in His plan for the forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ and the perfecting of the saints through His Holy Spirit), and then loving everyone else. You might not love what they do or even want to associate with them, but you can still love them and pray that God will change them. I repeat: " Loving and helping people will give the feeling of worth to himself, God, and the people that are helped.
You have to trust Romans 8: 28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Maybe God's purpose for your friend was to bring you closer to Him. We don't know. All that we can do is trust that our God is a good, just, merciful, loving, all knowing, all powerful God who knows what He is doing. It is this trust that will free you from the burden that weighs heavy in your heart. You should take your own advice: " Don't beat yourself up if your plans don't coincide with God's. God bless you and keep you Brother.
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