NEED CHRISTIAN ADVICE PLS HELP

[Papou]

first thank you for reading and helping and many blessings to you!! Over a year ago I became pregnant and I tried to make things right by getting married to my now husband as time has gone on I have grown closer to God my husband has not been the most supportive and has said negative comments I have also found my husband talking to another women in a inappropriate way and have found him on dating apps and as well as escort pages he also has a problem with alcohol he drinks to go to sleep and uses alot of our money he refuses to let me see the money or have money I just recently found a job but before that I was disabled to work due to health issues I am at the point where I want to walk away but I know that is not honorable to God I really am in a toxic environment and the worst is seeming to come out of me I really need sound counsel on what to do pls help me figure this out would divorce be okay? Also me and my husband are very young I am 23 and he is 24 pls help me if you can God bless you all!

Do not walk away but RUN AWAY ! Have no doubts, this is crystal clear ...

 

[GdaxBbb]

God's will is first.
He loves the mother and the child.

Separation appart from divorce can be possible, but this is an issue that is between those who God joined together and God.....

It's above my pay grade and wouldn't blame sin so much as a completely tilted walk.

Where as you could be using what God provides to help, you are left in their debt. You could be teaching your child important things... but now are being screamed at for something someone else did...
You could be happy and a joyful witness of He who loved you first... where now your sorrow is so strong youre crying inside when you arent outside....


I can't say what is best for anyone including myself. I'd need God to help me....


People can really hurt eachother when we don't look to Him first....

Yes of course I guess the real question becomes if we are to flee sin and someone who has become a stumbling block. You don't have to be physically divorced but you can just separate and let god reconcile if possible, thinking that is what I have read in the past, with plenty of examples in the bible where people just sent their unbelieving hindering spouses away. In this case a man sending his wife back to her fathers house while he went and did gods work. Forgot who it was in the bible.

 

[GdaxBbb]

I grew up in a messed up household (dysfunctional would be an understatement) and I made a lot of bad choices.

God turned me around in my early 20's out of what felt like no where, one month I cared about what felt good, the next month I was drawn to the truth of Christ.

I was convicted... then I became a bible thumping works salvationist, then He delivered me from that years later. Now I am a born again believer in Christ.


You make a gopd point about how important a stable home is...
I won't act as if I wouldn't have loved a home that was more in line with what God would want for us..... but I believe He can save us from any background...

Yeah I think majority of the evidence points to stable / unstable homes as #1 causes for issues of course there are exceptions to the rules. But I think a child would do much better in a happy loving single parent home, then a dysfunctional one, of course god can save like in your case, but majority of people get severely messed up.

It's just the mother / father has to take on both roles, which is hard to figure out and do for most.

 

[mar09]

@OneOfHis

Right I never thought of the other aspect if it causes you to sin through your emotions is it better to leave? If you're constantly, angry, resentful, and filled with other negative ungodly emotions, is it better to leave and not sin?

Or just become a better person so you don't get those emotions anymore?

but I agree i think in her circumstance the child's needs should be put first, I grew up fatherless and turned out fine, as long as you love and care for your child is all that matters, I'm pretty sure I would of turned out utterly messed up if I grew up in a dysfunctional home.

You can always get find some sort of father figure for your son, so he doesn't grow up ultra feminine and have any identity issues.

After I became part of a praying wives forum, I saw how some wives and mothers struggled-- and won. It is not always quick and easy, for as someone said, God works in mysterious ways-- but being a 'better,' Christ-like person is not impossible. Normally we read to separate or divorce when there is infidelity. But time and again, I read how the mentors in the forum emphasized staying and surviving as the covenant wife... and not to grow weary while doing good (being faithful), to reap in due season!

There's one testimony also I read recently, if anyone cares:
https://prayingwifeforum.com/2019/12/25/from-ruins-to-restoration-elaine-ongpauco/

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Well God gives us the choice and the right to do it, and I would not stay in a marriage with an adulterer, no matter what testimonies you find.

Deuteronomy 24:4
then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

Jeremiah 3:1
If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him to marry another, can he ever return to her? Would not such a land be completely defiled? But you have played the harlot with many lovers—and you would return to Me?” declares the LORD.

We will have to disagree on this sorry.

Grace and forgiveness isnt easy. Most people wouldn't show it. Both are a Biblical practice regardless of the circumstances but it's okay because divorce is a Biblical practice also. So like I said it is up to the individual and how they choose to respond.

 

[OneOfHis]

Grace and forgiveness isnt easy. Most people wouldn't show it. Both are a Biblical practice regardless of the circumstances but it's okay because divorce is a Biblical practice also. So like I said it is up to the individual and how they choose to respond.

Forgiveness is not always restoration of previous relationship.


If a baby sitter hurt your children in horrible ways, you can forgive them and never give them power over your children again.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Forgiveness is not always restoration of previous relationship.


If a baby sitter hurt your children in horrible ways, you can forgive them and never give them power over your children again.

Yep many times restoration isnt a possibility but you never know how the Spirit will move a individual. Their are crazy testimonies out there.

 

[Aerials1978]

first thank you for reading and helping and many blessings to you!! Over a year ago I became pregnant and I tried to make things right by getting married to my now husband as time has gone on I have grown closer to God my husband has not been the most supportive and has said negative comments I have also found my husband talking to another women in a inappropriate way and have found him on dating apps and as well as escort pages he also has a problem with alcohol he drinks to go to sleep and uses alot of our money he refuses to let me see the money or have money I just recently found a job but before that I was disabled to work due to health issues I am at the point where I want to walk away but I know that is not honorable to God I really am in a toxic environment and the worst is seeming to come out of me I really need sound counsel on what to do pls help me figure this out would divorce be okay? Also me and my husband are very young I am 23 and he is 24 pls help me if you can God bless you all!

They only advise someone like myself can give is pray and petition before the Lord not only for yourself but for him as well. I know from personal experience that alcohol abuse is the most damaging to a marriage.

I won’t kid you and say there is an easy way out. If you are truly sincere and want guidance, you have to put faith in Jesus. He will deliver you from your tribulations. This also I know from experience. I will pray to our Father who knows best for you and your family. Fight the good fight!

 

[laughingheart]

I am sorry for your pain. You must feel overwhelmed. This might not be the best time to make such heavy decisions. First you need good counsel. You need to sort out what you have experienced and get the sort of support you are going to need at this time. Once you feel able, going to joint counselling could help. It doesn't mean that the relationship can be repaired but the two of you are going to have a bond for life because of your child. Getting a good groundwork of communication is going to matter for the rest of your life, no matter the outcome.
None of this is easy.

1. Talk to someone to share your experience (Christian counsellor/pastor or both). You need someone who will give objective feedback and support. Start with that.
2. Talk to them about your choices moving forward.
3. Talk to your husband with a counsellor so that you can have someone help you hear each other. You two have a pattern of communication that is going to need an outsider to change. Try to avoid the word divorce until all other options are off the table.
4. When you are ready discuss your options.
5. If you then decide you cannot stay in the marriage then you need to talk to a lawyer about the options. You need to understand all that is involved. There is no way around it. Divorce is ugly.

For each step, start with prayer. Have praying friends pray for you.
Take the time you need to sort things out and hear from God.
Also remember self care. Please make yourself accountable to at least one friend to look after yourself. It is easy to bury yourself in being a mom rather than getting help and care. Don't do it. You matter, and again, I am sorry that this is happening.