At what age do you kick your children out of the house?
- Thread starter Hungry
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My mom when i graduated highschool 2 weeks later she angrily called me and told me to get my clothes and im never allowed to sleep in the house again. Of course we didnt talk for years.
My sisters were allowed to stay until 30. Well were family and they are in tough situations (all self inflicted) and trying to save money blah blah. Like me weeks after 18 i just had the world in my hand. Idk how u can kick a kid out right now when the houses are double of 3 years ago. When you are 80 they will get their calculator well i did the math and you are inconveniencing me.
My sisters were allowed to stay until 30. Well were family and they are in tough situations (all self inflicted) and trying to save money blah blah. Like me weeks after 18 i just had the world in my hand. Idk how u can kick a kid out right now when the houses are double of 3 years ago. When you are 80 they will get their calculator well i did the math and you are inconveniencing me.
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Hi Hungry,
I'm late to this thread, but it is your natural 'push them out of the nest when they are adults' instincts kicking in. I say you and your wife go to dinner alone to discuss your feelings regarding the oldest moving out and the rest of them pulling their weight around the house. I'd suggest discussing with the 23 year old looking into an apartment to share with a roommate. I would sit them all down and tell them if you haven't already ,they need to 1. Wash their own clothes 2. Clean their rooms every week 3. Have rotating chores for cleaning the house 4. Rotating chores for cooking and cleaning up the kitchen. They are adults and there are plenty of people working full time jobs with small children at home that run errands, care for the house and kids--they are all old enough to do all these things and it is preparing them for when they have their own households. Tell them if they are not willing to help around the house then they need to get their own place. Also give them an expectation that when they do get full-time jobs it is time for them to get their own place--I understand it's expensive, but maybe they can move to a location to work that is less expensive to live or again get roommates. I wish you the best--you have a handful!
I'm late to this thread, but it is your natural 'push them out of the nest when they are adults' instincts kicking in. I say you and your wife go to dinner alone to discuss your feelings regarding the oldest moving out and the rest of them pulling their weight around the house. I'd suggest discussing with the 23 year old looking into an apartment to share with a roommate. I would sit them all down and tell them if you haven't already ,they need to 1. Wash their own clothes 2. Clean their rooms every week 3. Have rotating chores for cleaning the house 4. Rotating chores for cooking and cleaning up the kitchen. They are adults and there are plenty of people working full time jobs with small children at home that run errands, care for the house and kids--they are all old enough to do all these things and it is preparing them for when they have their own households. Tell them if they are not willing to help around the house then they need to get their own place. Also give them an expectation that when they do get full-time jobs it is time for them to get their own place--I understand it's expensive, but maybe they can move to a location to work that is less expensive to live or again get roommates. I wish you the best--you have a handful!
My youngest is 9. The rest are teenagers. Theoretically, we have them doing all the dishes. My wife and I sometimes do dishes if the children cook. Last night, my daughter left a big pile of dishes. She probably fell asleep after staying up doing homework without communicating this to us. We have to stay on them a bit, but usually they get them done. I should probably set some firmer rules about clothing. We haven't had any we want to kick out of the nest yet.
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I suggest it depends upon the child and the timing of the Lord. Our oldest lives 4 states away and is now in commercial real estate. Our youngest was a bit of a hellion in her teens and couldn’t wait to leave our home. She’s now at home working and taking college courses. Her time here was for the healing of her soul. She now loves us deeply and sees the benefit of our love for her (before it was the “curse she was under”). We’re planning for her to move on campus about 2 hours away when she enrolls in business and art school. She’s ready to go now. She’s 20.
My point: by the Spirit, there is no appropriate age, only appropriate readiness. Finances and resources are important, but when it was time to send our oldest we did not wait to save to send her. We knew the Lord would provide and He did. When we do things in the Lord’s timing we can be assured of the outcome.
P.S. I prophesied that she would be offered a position from a billion-dollar company while she while in her first job living away from home. It happened on the last day she worked at that job… and she turned it down! Simply put, the Lord had changed the direction of her sail and she has never been influenced by money. She is now head PR and marketing for a start-up company and loving every minute of it. We could see the goodness of the Lord in all her circumstances. It’s been a blessing to all of us.
My point: by the Spirit, there is no appropriate age, only appropriate readiness. Finances and resources are important, but when it was time to send our oldest we did not wait to save to send her. We knew the Lord would provide and He did. When we do things in the Lord’s timing we can be assured of the outcome.
P.S. I prophesied that she would be offered a position from a billion-dollar company while she while in her first job living away from home. It happened on the last day she worked at that job… and she turned it down! Simply put, the Lord had changed the direction of her sail and she has never been influenced by money. She is now head PR and marketing for a start-up company and loving every minute of it. We could see the goodness of the Lord in all her circumstances. It’s been a blessing to all of us.