That's ok, that's good. They got it all laid out for everybody to see. I was raised in the Lutheran Church, I had a horrid time of it as a kid, eventually I fell away. I wouldn't watch televangelists either. I thought they were all a bunch of crooks. And of course, things didn't improve much when I was walking contrary to my Lord, things got pretty weird and vile.
Then, finally when I was 46, about 18 months after my Mom died, I went to sleep one night, I had a dream. In this dream, my mother was standing in front of me, ragging on me and nagging me vehemently about something, but I couldn't hear what she was saying, not until just as I was waking up, I heard all of sudden her say urgently to me, "You must come back, Come Back!! Come Back!! You must come back!!, and with that she turned and walked up the hallway of our old home very determinedly, like she was going to go get ready for work or to go somewhere. And I woke up fully, and I thought "Wow!!" What was that all about?", Well she must have been worried about me, because the night before, I had been in a very, very dark frame of mind, it was like someone was speaking to me, and I followed my train of thought and it led somewhere, to a course of action, that I knew I wouldn't go. I thought, no, I ain't going there...."
So, God must've allowed her to reach out to me, or maybe His Holy Spirit through my memory of her. But, I thought about what she said, "Come Back!", come back to who, where?" And I thought, and I remembered that there was only one person, and one place she always told me to come back to, either when prior to ending a phone conversation, or when I was leaving from having visited her at her house. She would say to me, "Honey, come back to Jesus", Come back to church, Come back to God, Sweetie," "God loves you, Jesus loves you, come back to church." So, I thought, "Well, she ought to know, she's on the other side of this life."
Then I thought, "Go back to which church?" They all spout 2 Bible verses, and a lot of hot air for the next 45 minutes, which have nothing to do with Jesus, or God. And they all just want money." About a week & a half later, after thinking about churches, I went to sleep, but I woke up about 2 am, and I turned on the TV in the bedroom, and was flipping through the channels for something stupid to watch, that I would just go back to sleep to, and in the middle of switching channels, I saw a big man, and he was holding a big book in his hand, open, and pounding on it with his big fist, saying excitedly, "Those bible-thumpers!!" Whop-Whop "Those 2-verse-Charlie bible thumpers!!" Whop-Whop-Whop"!!! (LOL!) I thought "Wait a minute!!" Who are you, Mr.!!??" "You're thumping your Bible, hypocrite!!" & I turned back to the station, and it was Pastor Arnold Murray, of Shepherd's Chapel, And I listened for 5 minutes, and then he said "And women in the church get a bad rap!! They do all the work, but the pastor's get all the credit!! Women in the churches are treated like 2nd class-citizens!!!! And it's not right!!!".......I thought: "I like you!!!". I've been listening to him for 22-1/2 years, and I've never regretted it. And then my husband, he would go watch TV in the living room, and let me use the computer so I could listen to the daily bible study program, and one day, Pastor Arnold made a funny, and I heard my husband laugh, that happened about 3 times and then I noticed that the TV was on stupid commercials, and I wondered if he was listening to the bible study, which he could hear it from the living room, our house is small.
Not very long, about a week after that, he asked me to buy him a bible, and asked if he could join in on the bible study programs with me, and I was over-joyed!! So, my husband came to believe, and I had great peace of mind over his soul, when he departed this life about 3 years ago from cancer.
I used to walk out of church, the times when I tried to go back, wondering "Why doesn't the Pastor talk about what God says, about what Jesus says?", and I felt very empty. Pastor Murray taught strictly chapter & verse by verse, explaining each verse as he went along. I could look it up for myself, research what he said in the KJV Bible & the Strong's Concordance, and compare with what other Commentaries had to say, like Matthew Henry's Commentary, I have that set. I learned a lot from Pastor Murray, and now his son Dennis is Pastor in his place, since he died in 2014. For me, it has to be God's word, not a man's word, and not traditions of men, Pastor Murray always said "Check what you hear from man, this man, pointing to himself, any man, Check what he says out in God's word, and think for yourself." Well, every time I double checked what he said in the Bible, he was right on, so that was good enough for me, I knew I could trust his preaching. I didn't mean for this to be so long, sorry.