i had a couple of dreams in my life.
one, i was stand on a mountain top, with clouds that stretch a mile away. inside the cloud was a burning fire. and i heard a voice that said to me while standing on this mountain top, "I lead my people by the cloud pillar of fire."
i ask myself, where am i in my life to be in that place God wants me to be. I feel sadden because I'm not in his calling anymore. i feel left out because I have a different mindset and prespective about life. a lot of people don't understand my logic, my understanding, and who i am in general.
most of my daily life consist of people disrespecting me because they misjudge me, accuse me of something that i didnt do, and cause me or try to make me feel bitter inside. i find myself, starting to hate these kind of people now. i find myself, starting to hate to deal with them, and their disrespect, so i fire back the same arrows they throw at me.
i look out, and i see these kind of people, who are blind to themselves, who have no idea what comes out of their own mouth and their own judgment. it makes me angry, makes me very angry at these self righteous attitude.
i hate people who look as if their higher and mightier than anyone else. i hate those people who have a fake and false sense of humility. i hate those people who think they are walking with Christ, but are the most sensual people and will cause others to fall with him with his lack of knowledge.
i hate those people who call other people, "know it all" but yet, they themselves is the epitome of it. stubborn, lack of knowledge, discernment, lack of understanding, i hate those people who deny wisdom out of her place, and pretend as if they have wisdom.
i find myself more bitter and angry lately, and yet, i find myself, trying to get rid of this root of bitterness. where does it stem from? i believe it stems from all the hate i received and arrogance of people who swarm over my life with disrespectful day in, and day out. i start to horde this angry and resentment against those kind of people. and it's causing me to be bitter.