You are quick to judge and I don't think you read my full post. I believed as a child before I knew what "religion" was. Then I sought out the word and I believed. Then I sought out fellowship and community and church and community worship and I believed.
I believed until I came to realise that my most critical, most important prayers went unanswered for years. So I assumed the problem was not God, but was me. I posted on this forum asking how can I know if I was saved? I thought I was saved but I must have been wrong.
I believed, asked forgiveness, offered myself to Jesus, etc, but nothing changed. So I assumed I was just not invited to the party. I must not be in the book of life and there's nothing I can do about it. Except that contradicts my understanding of scripture.
So I thought perhaps my understanding of prayer was the issue. This seemed logical. Not all scripture is addressing the same audience and perhaps if I go back and take a new look I will realize where I got it wrong.
Unfortunately, many things I read contradicted my experience. Ask in the name of Jesus and believe and your prayers would be answered.
I read many articles on why God may not be answering prayers. I was careful to express a problem but ask that the problem be solved acording to God's will. No change.
I asked for understand regarding my prayers. No change.
I asked to be led to understanding of this problem. No change.
I used to talk to God a lot. Every single day. In the dark, eyes closed. Kneeling in prayer. In the car, etc. I felt close to God like He was there and I could tell Him anything.
Now I feel like it was wishful thinking. Nobody is there. Nobody is listening. I didn't come to this place easily, or quickly, and I hate it. I want to believe. I want it to be true. But I cannot get past the fact that my prayers are not heard or addressed in direct contradiction to what is promised in scripture. This has me at a point of crisis where everything I believed has been called into question.
Why would God lead me here?
I still believe in a creator. Anyone who claims there is no creator when we are surrounded on all sides by engineering that can only be accomished by a profoundly intelligent mind with the capability to implement and execute on that engineering is in denial of the obvious.
Understanding anything about that creator is the challange.
The Judeo-Christian religion is the only religion that rises to the level of being able to provide real answers to the big questions.
But is it just the greatest collection of fiction ever compiled, or is it the inerrant word of God?
The failure of prayer calls into question the bibles inerrancy. It cannot be true and not live up to its promises at the same time.
Hence my faith roadblock. I love so many of the wonderful responses by so many people here. People who understand the struggle and care and offer advice based on their own struggles.
God doesn't owe me anything. He could wipe me out anytime He wants. He can cast me into in a lake of fire, or smash me like a clay pot. What am I to Him? He is eternal and all powerful while I am animated dirt.
But if the Bible is truly His inerrant word then He would adhere to His own promises. If it is humans putting words into His mouth He has no obligation to live up to those promises.
According to my understanding of scripture, it is promises unfulfilled. An all powerful God should not need people to make excuses for why He doesn't live up to promises made in His name over 2 thousand years ago. If they were His words, they would be 100% without error and as real and reliable as the morning and the night.
But that has not been my experience.
I used to pray that I wanted my life to be a testimony of gratitude to Him. I believed that would be the one thing that I could give to God that could possibly have some small value to Him.
Now that has been destroyed. Do you know how disturbing that is?
This isn't faithlessness, or pompousness, or a rotten attitude. I am not here as an atheist trying to mock people for their belief. It is an existential crisis.
I came seeking answers to questions that may be unanswerable but I am listening. I am reading every post with an open mind and looking for alternatives to the path I regrettably find myself on.
Though it is refreshing to see your honesty, sincerity, and passion to know the truth, I do not envy your position. For even as you are now, I was, years ago.
For years, I too used to question my salvation, and like you, I was confused and wondered why I wasn't seeing the same thing you are questioning now. And though our reasonings are similar, I never did question the inerrant word of God.
And I apologize if I came across as hard-hearted and judgmental. That was not my intent. Still working on my people and communication skills.
And I can assure you, if you continue desiring the truth, with all sincerity of heart, God will reveal that to you, even though you are hearing many voices right now.
So how did I get from, not knowing, to knowing that I was a born again child of God? Answer? Knowledge and understanding of God's word. However, this knowledge and understanding doesn't just apply to salvation only. It applies to answered prayers, healings, deliverances, and the like.
So if God can take me from where you are now, to receiving the things I pray for, he can and will do the same for you, if you don't quit seeking the truth with a pure, honest, and sincere heart
I would first like to assure you, God's promises are good. I don't mean in the sense of morally good, but faithfully good and true.
God is not only faithful to watch over his word, but he is equally faithful to perform it. But you will have to do exactly what is written.
I could give you story after story about how God did exactly what I prayed for and more, because he did, but for now, I will just tell you how to accomplish that which you are seeking to do.
So how do you get from doubting or questioning your salvation, to knowing you are?
I suppose it would help to state exactly how one is born again. So I'll start there.
Jesus said, except you eat my flesh and drink my blood, you have no life in you.
KJV+ King James Version
John 6:35: "And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that
cometh to me shall never
hunger; and he that
believeth on me shall never
thirst."
It is not only written that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, but it is also written and true, that Jesus himself IS the living Word of God.
Again, it is written, we are saved BY the Word of God.
We are not saved by repenting and confessing our sins, water baptism at any age, going to church, doing good deeds, reading the Bible, praying, or even just believing that not only God is, but even that Jesus is the savior of the world. Because believing only, is not good enough.
We are saved simply by faith in the work Jesus did on the cross, and accepting that for yourself, personally.
You probably already are saved and just don't know it, but if you're still wondering about whether you are or not, do the above mentioned, and you will need to, not only, believe in your heart what Jesus did for you on the cross, but also you will most certainly need to SAY it with your mouth.
If you don't do a corresponding work to what you believe in your heart, absolutely nothing will happen and God is not be obligated to fulfill his word because you did not fulfill every condition God has established in his word. Verbally speaking what you believe in your heart, is one form of a corresponding work.
If you have done this, according to the word of God, you are a born again, child of God.