Is There Not One Godly Man Left?

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

If you can get YouTube in the UK you may be able to watch some of his sermons here: Alistair Begg - YouTube

Thanks

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Thanks

I have been try to be careful with my cell. It's addictive and I don't want to be in touch with some ole contacts.

 

[Lizzy]

Correct me if I’m wrong but I thought you stated he was talking about how women shouldn’t “settle” for ungodly men and that they shouldn’t expect them to change. I don’t think he suggested divorcing them.

I hear what you are saying about coming down from the pulpit and guide rather than instruct. I will say this in response. Unless an individual wants to be led, he won’t follow. I’ve taught fitness for years. Most just listen and say how informative it is. Unless the person wants to change, they will continue in their stupidity and failure. I believe Pastor Begg was correct. It’s not that men suck and it’s up to women to train them. The point was if the dude is not what you’re looking for before the wedding, don’t expect you can mould him into Mr. Perfect after.

Why do people 'settle' for someone in the first place?? What do they expect to happen?? Gosh. I don't get it.

 

[SteveEpperson]

Do you have a ministry?

Such an elitist question. Fortunately, I don't hear pastors ask it outright. But I know it's in the backs of their minds.

It's kinda like, "Are you a scientist? If not, you have no right to ask a scientific question or have a rational thought because you are not a scientist like me. And if you are, you didn't study at XYZ University. And if you did, it still doesn't count since I earned a Ph.D. And if you also have a Ph.D., my area of discipline is far superior to yours."

And on, and on. Pastors succumb to this level of elitism, also. It's part of Satan's plan.

Once we get rid of the profession of "pastor," we won't have to worry about it anymore.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Why do people 'settle' for someone in the first place?? What do they expect to happen?? Gosh. I don't get it.

I seen where folks been hurt, they settled on stability. Later on they stray. Others due to pregnancy, emotions and complex. Fear is a huge factor for some, fear of being left alone maybe?

 

[Lizzy]

I seen where folks been hurt, they settled on stability. Later on they stray. Others due to pregnancy, emotions and complex. Fear is a huge factor for some, fear of being left alone maybe?

I think it's very sad if someone doesn't feel deserving of the very best person God has for them and settles because they don't want to be alone or the other issues they are dealing with. I completely understand not wanting to be alone. I've been a widow for 7 years and I want the best person in my life too. I have just seen so many friends settle and then get hurt.

 

[Mii]

People are bound to make mistakes though aren't they?

I mean when it comes to teaching or preaching. I've pondered this for quite a while and can't come up with a real answer. Even presuming that a pastor is working in conjunction with the Holy Spirit, are they a direct mouthpiece? Is it holy writ?

Yes and no. I think that because I can stray and sort of "reach" when I haven't quite matured enough or had knowledge fill in enough to "really" say, then it seems plausible that others do this also.

Like talking about something you really don't have a clue about or choose not to clarify because it's part of a "bit" you put into a sermon. Personally I don't like stuff like that but I can't "really" say that it's forbidden or shameful...I enjoy a laugh now and again and sometimes it seems like the Lord has to pry it out of me because I'm a tad "too" cautious about everything.

I haven't heard Begg in quite a long time but I don't recall him being especially offensive. Those types of jabs though I've heard all over the radio and all over church services. It wasn't necessarily intentional by this person I wouldn't imagine...just that he (arguably mistakenly) painted a light stroke on a topic without further elaboration/and or seriousness and maybe shouldn't have done it in quite that way but people must make mistakes or "overreach" at some point right?

Then again, even stuff like this (your experience) can open the door to a conversation or a different way of looking at things that maybe the Lord did indeed want. Alas, this is not in the fashion that is most comfortable though...like when someone feels like the pastor is speaking straight to them...that's probably not the pastor except as a byproduct lol. People can get entirely different messages from the "same" sermon. Maybe a girl needed to hear it like that? Maybe she was debating over and over again for months and months and praying lots and lots and she needed it spelled out?

For whatever reason, I don't feel that way in this instance but since those things do happen and a message isn't always for me and shouldn't be personalized sometimes it seems relevant to point out. Pastors and teachers DO speak out of ignorance sometimes.

Think of Timothy, there were probably people that did look down on him because of his youth and lets say he started preaching about old age...uh...you'd imagine that some people might roll their eyes perhaps? Yet still despite the source (so long as it's not just a person) there's something to glean.

Or maybe you needed to address something and it was a catalyst for that? I've heard some offhand statements that are sweeping in their generalizations and as a result exclude the minority. There are things that REALLLY grind my gears that I've heard people say from the "mic" that still needle me. I think God knows that it does and why but my only task (that I can see) when I don't know how to fix that it bothers me is to guard against bitterness and be patient for the puzzle pieces to fit together a little better. It's a frustrating strategy sometimes because I want to "mute" some people for a bit, but I can't and I don't.

You gotta be SUPER careful to not foster bitterness intentionally. Like, when you KNOW it's not the right thing to do, not hindsight being 20/20 kind of thing. Life can produce bitterness and it happens and then you realize and deal with it by prayer and supplication but anything you can do to lessen it on your own is probably awesome


I nitpick a lot and am quite critical with sermons and teaching...I try not to personalize it overmuch though. Probably if you asked this pastor about your situation, he might be inclined to agree?

It's worth a shot if you have the inclination...it takes work and a lot of "prefacing" but I've found that when I lay everything out well to people I have a disagreement with it can produce some excellent results.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

I think it's very sad if someone doesn't feel deserving of the very best person God has for them and settles because they don't want to be alone or the other issues they are dealing with. I completely understand not wanting to be alone. I've been a widow for 7 years and I want the best person in my life too. I have just seen so many friends settle and then get hurt.

I found that those that were hurt went on to use others or simply found others that were hurt. It becomes a cycle and doesn't lead to a good place. But the feeling of being wanted can be a drug especially if you are hurting at home. Few even have the patience to discuss the issues. Everyone seems busy and self centred i find.

 

[Hungry]

Why do people 'settle' for someone in the first place?? What do they expect to happen?? Gosh. I don't get it.

People settle all the time. If we all waited for every box to be checked on our perfect spouse list, nobody would be married. If we aren’t perfect, should we expect the same from a partner? The point is if I decided that I found the perfect woman except she was 100lbs overweight. Should I still marry her thinking once we tie the knot, I can get her to the gym and put her on a diet and one day she will be my ideal woman? That’s putting an abundance of faith in both her desire to change and my ability to change her.

 

[Hungry]

Such an elitist question. Fortunately, I don't hear pastors ask it outright. But I know it's in the backs of their minds.

It's kinda like, "Are you a scientist? If not, you have no right to ask a scientific question or have a rational thought because you are not a scientist like me. And if you are, you didn't study at XYZ University. And if you did, it still doesn't count since I earned a Ph.D. And if you also have a Ph.D., my area of discipline is far superior to yours."

And on, and on. Pastors succumb to this level of elitism, also. It's part of Satan's plan.

Once we get rid of the profession of "pastor," we won't have to worry about it anymore.

First of all I think you haven’t realized that I am differentiating between a pastor and a preacher. Paul didn’t have a congregation. He was a preacher. He planted seeds. Then left others to tend to them. I agree we need more pastors, and elders and mentors. I think that you are wrong in thinking that just because someone understands and can articulate the word of God that it means he will automatically be a compassionate mentor. Think what you want, it’s God’s design and His plan so you can complain to Him or stand in the gap.

 

[SteveEpperson]

I think it's very sad if someone doesn't feel deserving of the very best person God has for them and settles because they don't want to be alone or the other issues they are dealing with. I completely understand not wanting to be alone. I've been a widow for 7 years and I want the best person in my life too. I have just seen so many friends settle and then get hurt.

Don't mean to barge into the conversation here, but I agree that women especially have a difficult time marrying within the church. After all, most of the men are already taken. And the few single ones left like me are typically destroyed by failed marriages. Not good pickns' if you ask me.

However, instead of pastors berating men for being such bad husbands, why not just start teaching them one-on-one. It's never going to change if you're trying to instruct with a megaphone. Only one-on-one discipleship will have a lasting effect on the student.

But I don't think it's going to happen. After all, we've tried the top-down approach for over 2,000 years and all it's gotten us is a 50 percent divorce rate.

Instead, we as lowly church members need to either step away from the institution and start mentoring each other, outside the four walls, or we can use the church building for that purpose.

However, you will have to get the keys to the building away from the pastor and the elders, a very difficult challenge, indeed.

 

[Journeyman]

Is There Not One Godly Man Left?

I heard the familiar, soothing voice of Pastor Alistair Begg come over my car's speakers last night. The sermon was titled "Asking God for Wisdom," and it was part of a series called "Faith That Works."


The key takeaways were:

1. Wisdom comes from God, not from being educated
2. We should ask for wisdom from God reverently
3. We cannot be double-minded by giving equal value to both faith and doubt

As usual, I learned a lot from Pastor Begg during the broadcast. However, I couldn't believe my ears as I listened to the last few minutes.


Another jab at men by yet another pastor

At the end of the sermon, Pastor Begg addressed the women in the audience:


"If you're dating this kind of character [one who is double-minded and not truly seeking God's wisdom], DUMP HIM, IMMEDIATELY!"


However, the following line is the most disconcerting portion of his advice:


"If he won't buckle down when you're dating him, you don't have a chance of doing anything with him after you're married."


In other words, God is insufficient to change this man.


The hidden message

The pastors and elders will decide whether a husband is Godly. And even though you made a mistake marrying this low-life who can hardly provide for you, we at the church support you.


After all, we've bought into the worldview that all women are victims and that if you're stuck with an ungodly man who forced you to marry him, it's okay to take the children and leave.


The devastation is real

I've been on the receiving end of this wretched advice. When my wife left five years ago and took my four-year-old son, I learned from my innocent little boy that she was living with one of the elders in the church, a guy twice her age.


Not only that, he was one of my closest friends. They both decided that I was not "godly" enough and was a bad influence on my son. And it didn't hurt that her new beau was fairly wealthy.


This is what I lost in the deal:

• My wife
• My son
• My business
• My house
• My faith in the institutional church

Yes, everyone in town thought it was a travesty and that I should just "move on." My ex and her new hubby relocated to another church, which this guy's brother pastored.


So, now I get to see my son on the weekends. And since all women are victims in my state, I get to write a check to my ex for 20 percent of my monthly income, even though she now makes over ten times more than me.


And according to every pastor in the US, it's all because there is not one Godly man left in America.


My advice to Alistair Begg, my dear brother in Christ, is this:


Stop preaching and start teaching

Put down your pen, turn off your computer, and move out from the shadow of the pulpit. Tread bravely into your community, the great city of Cleveland.


Do not forget to turn the lights off when you leave the church building. As a revered leader in your hometown, it is unwise to make a mockery of the power grid.


Also, be sure to slather on plenty of sunscreen. I would wager it has been a while since the sunlight has kissed your face. And I would be loathed to witness a basal-cell carcinoma on your forehead.


As you turn back and notice your church building standing there, dark and lonely, please remember this passage of scripture:


Now from noon until three, darkness came over all the land. At about three o’clock, Jesus shouted with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” [Omitted for clarity] Then Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and gave up his spirit. Just then the temple curtain was torn in two, from top to bottom. Mat. 27: 45-51 Net2


As Jesus died on the cross, we as sinners came to life. So likewise, as you die to yourself as a professional pastor and your church dies with you, your community will be brought back to life.


Remember those who seek your council

Do you remember that middle-aged guy, Pastor Begg, who barged into your office last week demanding you give him spiritual advice?


I would encourage you to take a bit of friendly retribution on this guy. Go to his house, knock on the door, and barge right in when he answers.


He will undoubtedly be shocked as one of the most pious, soft-spoken, Godly, famous preachers in America finds all those empty beer cans laying on his living room floor. And indeed, his embarrassment will reach a crescendo when you notice the filth he is watching on Netflix.


So what, you say? I implore you to gently take him by the throat.


Teach this 58-year-old man how to teach his 34-year-old son how to teach his eight-year-old grandson how to be a Godly man.


Only then will all those young women in your church have a more favorable selection of men they will one day marry.


Is it too late?

It may be too late for Pastor Begg. He may be too famous. He may simply be too worried about delivering that Sunday sermon to his church in Cleveland. Or he may be concerned about keeping the Truth-For-Life Ministry operating with all of its demands, such as:

• Production costs
• Hiring and firing staff members
• Websites
• Contact forms
• Marketing
• Brosadcasting equipment
• Licensing requirements
• Contracts
• Book deals
• Taxes and regulations

And all those things that Satan delights to detract us from true discipleship.


But I pray that I am wrong. I pray that one day, preachers, pastors, ministers, deacons, priests, and rabbis will come out of hiding—whether it be a church building, best-selling book, website, or radio broadcast—to go out into their communities and engage in the process of disciple-making once again.

 

[Journeyman]

Is There Not One Godly Man Left?

I heard the familiar, soothing voice of Pastor Alistair Begg come over my car's speakers last night. The sermon was titled "Asking God for Wisdom," and it was part of a series called "Faith That Works."


The key takeaways were:

1. Wisdom comes from God, not from being educated
2. We should ask for wisdom from God reverently
3. We cannot be double-minded by giving equal value to both faith and doubt

As usual, I learned a lot from Pastor Begg during the broadcast. However, I couldn't believe my ears as I listened to the last few minutes.


Another jab at men by yet another pastor

At the end of the sermon, Pastor Begg addressed the women in the audience:


"If you're dating this kind of character [one who is double-minded and not truly seeking God's wisdom], DUMP HIM, IMMEDIATELY!"


However, the following line is the most disconcerting portion of his advice:


"If he won't buckle down when you're dating him, you don't have a chance of doing anything with him after you're married."


In other words, God is insufficient to change this man.


The hidden message

The pastors and elders will decide whether a husband is Godly. And even though you made a mistake marrying this low-life who can hardly provide for you, we at the church support you.


After all, we've bought into the worldview that all women are victims and that if you're stuck with an ungodly man who forced you to marry him, it's okay to take the children and leave.


The devastation is real

I've been on the receiving end of this wretched advice. When my wife left five years ago and took my four-year-old son, I learned from my innocent little boy that she was living with one of the elders in the church, a guy twice her age.


Not only that, he was one of my closest friends. They both decided that I was not "godly" enough and was a bad influence on my son. And it didn't hurt that her new beau was fairly wealthy.


This is what I lost in the deal:

• My wife
• My son
• My business
• My house
• My faith in the institutional church

Yes, everyone in town thought it was a travesty and that I should just "move on." My ex and her new hubby relocated to another church, which this guy's brother pastored.


So, now I get to see my son on the weekends. And since all women are victims in my state, I get to write a check to my ex for 20 percent of my monthly income, even though she now makes over ten times more than me.


And according to every pastor in the US, it's all because there is not one Godly man left in America.


My advice to Alistair Begg, my dear brother in Christ, is this:


Stop preaching and start teaching

Put down your pen, turn off your computer, and move out from the shadow of the pulpit. Tread bravely into your community, the great city of Cleveland.


Do not forget to turn the lights off when you leave the church building. As a revered leader in your hometown, it is unwise to make a mockery of the power grid.


Also, be sure to slather on plenty of sunscreen. I would wager it has been a while since the sunlight has kissed your face. And I would be loathed to witness a basal-cell carcinoma on your forehead.


As you turn back and notice your church building standing there, dark and lonely, please remember this passage of scripture:


Now from noon until three, darkness came over all the land. At about three o’clock, Jesus shouted with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” [Omitted for clarity] Then Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and gave up his spirit. Just then the temple curtain was torn in two, from top to bottom. Mat. 27: 45-51 Net2


As Jesus died on the cross, we as sinners came to life. So likewise, as you die to yourself as a professional pastor and your church dies with you, your community will be brought back to life.


Remember those who seek your council

Do you remember that middle-aged guy, Pastor Begg, who barged into your office last week demanding you give him spiritual advice?


I would encourage you to take a bit of friendly retribution on this guy. Go to his house, knock on the door, and barge right in when he answers.


He will undoubtedly be shocked as one of the most pious, soft-spoken, Godly, famous preachers in America finds all those empty beer cans laying on his living room floor. And indeed, his embarrassment will reach a crescendo when you notice the filth he is watching on Netflix.


So what, you say? I implore you to gently take him by the throat.


Teach this 58-year-old man how to teach his 34-year-old son how to teach his eight-year-old grandson how to be a Godly man.


Only then will all those young women in your church have a more favorable selection of men they will one day marry.


Is it too late?

It may be too late for Pastor Begg. He may be too famous. He may simply be too worried about delivering that Sunday sermon to his church in Cleveland. Or he may be concerned about keeping the Truth-For-Life Ministry operating with all of its demands, such as:

• Production costs
• Hiring and firing staff members
• Websites
• Contact forms
• Marketing
• Brosadcasting equipment
• Licensing requirements
• Contracts
• Book deals
• Taxes and regulations

And all those things that Satan delights to detract us from true discipleship.


But I pray that I am wrong. I pray that one day, preachers, pastors, ministers, deacons, priests, and rabbis will come out of hiding—whether it be a church building, best-selling book, website, or radio broadcast—to go out into their communities and engage in the process of disciple-making once again.

I thought a woman who remaries is no longer entitled to alimony from her ex-husband. Laws have changed greatly over the years. Spousal support can be the responsibility of the one who makes more money and women are no longer automatically granted custody of children Make sure about those things by speaking to a good attorney.

 

[Lizzy]

I found that those that were hurt went on to use others or simply found others that were hurt. It becomes a cycle and doesn't lead to a good place. But the feeling of being wanted can be a drug especially if you are hurting at home. Few even have the patience to discuss the issues. Everyone seems busy and self centred i find.

So many people don't find a person that will value them because I think they don't value themselves. That's so sad that relationships have made so many people feel unworthy of something wonderful. Hopefully we can encourage each other to wait for that amazing person to come into their life.

 

[Lizzy]

Don't mean to barge into the conversation here, but I agree that women especially have a difficult time marrying within the church. After all, most of the men are already taken. And the few single ones left like me are typically destroyed by failed marriages. Not good pickns' if you ask me.

However, instead of pastors berating men for being such bad husbands, why not just start teaching them one-on-one. It's never going to change if you're trying to instruct with a megaphone. Only one-on-one discipleship will have a lasting effect on the student.

But I don't think it's going to happen. After all, we've tried the top-down approach for over 2,000 years and all it's gotten us is a 50 percent divorce rate.

Instead, we as lowly church members need to either step away from the institution and start mentoring each other, outside the four walls, or we can use the church building for that purpose.

However, you will have to get the keys to the building away from the pastor and the elders, a very difficult challenge, indeed.

I knew that after my husband passed away 7 years ago, i wouldn't even date a single man from my church. I felt like it just wasn't a thing for me considering they knew both me and my husband in the church for 25 years. I just didn't feel it was right for me.

 

[Lizzy]

People settle all the time. If we all waited for every box to be checked on our perfect spouse list, nobody would be married. If we aren’t perfect, should we expect the same from a partner? The point is if I decided that I found the perfect woman except she was 100lbs overweight. Should I still marry her thinking once we tie the knot, I can get her to the gym and put her on a diet and one day she will be my ideal woman? That’s putting an abundance of faith in both her desire to change and my ability to change her.

You should never marry anyone with a plan to change them. You love who you love. Nobody is perfect, but I know that someday I will marry someone perfect for me.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

I knew that after my husband passed away 7 years ago, i wouldn't even date a single man from my church. I felt like it just wasn't a thing for me considering they knew both me and my husband in the church for 25 years. I just didn't feel it was right for me.

7 years ! That's so long

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

So many people don't find a person that will value them because I think they don't value themselves. That's so sad that relationships have made so many people feel unworthy of something wonderful. Hopefully we can encourage each other to wait for that amazing person to come into their life.

Yes, self worth is very important. Not everyone has it from the beginning

 

[Lizzy]

7 years ! That's so long

Sometimes it feels like its been a long time, other days its fresh. Me and my girls call it our new normal. How will we deal with this or that in our new normal.

 

[MatthewWestfieldUK]

Sometimes it feels like its been a long time, other days its fresh. Me and my girls call it our new normal. How will we deal with this or that in our new normal.

I have a lot of respect for people who cope with the tough situations. Growing up I watched films like Rambo and Commando, I thought these people were strong.
Now I realise that strength was in the people and coped with day-to-day life despite hurting inside. Often not having a straightforward path that they could throw their energy into, in order to change life.
Recently I have started to find some stability through friendship and routines, trying to focus on a hobby helps.