~
What I'm about to say next may seem a hoax to some folks but it's a matter
of public record published in a book based upon Mother Teresa's private
letters compiled by Brian Kolodiejchuk MC titled: Mother Teresa. Come Be
My Light. ISBN: 978-0-385-52037-9
Brian Kolodiejchuk wasn't Teresa's enemy. In point of fact he was a long
time friend, director of the Mother Teresa Center, and a Postulator in favor
of her canonization.
The thing is: for virtually the entire five decades Teresa was a missionary in
India, she felt not the slightest glimmer of the Lord's presence. It became so
persistent that in time she began referring to him as "the absent one" and she
even began wondering if there really is a God out there.
Some of Teresa's remarks are quite remarkable coming from someone so
recently sainted. For example:
"If there be God . . . please forgive me"
"I am told God loves me; and yet the reality of darkness & coldness &
emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."
"The damned of Hell suffer eternal punishment because they experiment
with the loss of God. In my own soul, I feel the terrible pain of this loss. I
feel that God does not want me, that God is not God; and that He does not
really exist."
"When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven, there is such convicting
emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my
very soul. How painful is this unknown pain-- I have no faith."
"The place of God in my soul is blank-- There is no God in me-- when the
pain of longing is so great-- I just long & long for God-- and then it is that I
feel-- He does not want me-- He is not there-- God does not want me--
Sometimes-- I just hear my own heart cry out-- "My God" and nothing else
comes-- the torture and pain I can't explain"
So: was her experience normal? NO; of course not because Jesus promised
his own that he would not leave them as orphans (John 14:18) and the
Bible says that God's spirit is supposed to be on hand to prevent feelings of
abandonment. (Rom 8:16)
We're told it's possible to quench the Spirit. (1Thess 5:19) so I really have
to wonder what exactly Teresa could possibly have done that was so bad it
resulted in that quenching going on, and on, and on, for five decades. And
where was Jesus all that time? Why was her spiritual life that of an orphan?
In the final weeks of her life, Teresa became very agitated; so at the urging
of Henry D'Souza, the Archbishop of Calcutta (a.k.a. Kolkata), the poor
woman finally agreed to an exorcism-- performed by Father Rosario Stroscio
--if perchance demons were clouding her mind.
NOTE: Ironically, though she was never really confident a God exists, Teresa
feared that if one did exist, it wouldn't like her, and might be quite disposed
to condemn her. In other words: the most illustrious nun the 20th century
produced departed this life at the age of 87 unsure of her afterlife
destination.
If someone out there reading this is experiencing a lengthy dark night of the
soul similar to Teresa's, I sincerely hope you know your spiritual condition is
in serious trouble; and that you consider seeking assistance now while there
is still time to do something about it.
_