I enjoyed your post.
A couple of things come to mind.
Yes we could justify not helping those who have self distinctive behaviors. Did Jesus step up and redeem us when we did not deserve help?
Does the Bible teach us to win others over by an outpouring of love? Heaps of burning coals or something like that?
My thoughts 🙂
Excellent thinking skills Embankment:
My only answer to you: pray at all times, and use the gift of discernment of spirits.
Story. Went to a church while visiting Peru. A guy approached me and in a very aggressive manner said: I have nothing, no clothes, nothing, what are you gonna do about it, you should give me.... (you get the idea).
I told him: sure, let's talk after the service. During the service, when encouraged to pray, I kneeled and asked God to reveal who that person was, what were his intentions, and what I should do.
It turned out that person was a fake, abusing the pastors and ministers, he locked himself in his room and refused to come out. He was playing the system, not really converting nor looking the face of God. Good for him Paul the Apostle was not around, he would probably be harshly disciplined. I was going to give him my sweater, and some money for clothing, but the darkness in him manifested, did not want to do anything with the light of Jesus and the Holy Spirit in a real sense.
Do you know you have authority to ask God through Jesus to unmask persons so they show what they really are and represent. Problem is that is not pretty. Many persons you kind of think highly of in normal sense, are reprobates of the faith.
I have come to the conclusion that I do not waste time with tares (infiltrated or free flowing), I pray always for God's direction to touch and help in any way I can the Wheat, the adopted children of God.
And understand that the wheat are not the goodie goodies, the wheat can be all over and unrecognizable: in wrong traditions, cults, in wrong associations (martial arts, yoga, etc.), but God knows them and allows you to sow, so that other may water... you get the idea.
Think of Jesus: he chose pure wheat except one: Judas Iscariot. Jesus said of him: eimi diabolos (is a devil), the only reason Jesus chose that person is to allow prophesy to fulfill.
I try not to waste time with the tares, because we are warned not to give the pearls to the porkies (very rough paraphrase LOL), so I always encourage all believers to pray so that God grants the gift of discernment of spirits in them to get a better idea of what is really going on in our contextual day to day living.
Am I perfect? far from it, absolutely not, do I make mistake, most likely all the time, is my conscience clear because I prayed before carrying out an action? definitively.
When I give money to a beggar in the street, I pray that the money cannot be used for vice, but for food, or some other good thing.
We try to do best we can, good deeds in thankfulness for the free gift of salvation, not to be saved, we are not perfect, but God loves us like that. My prayer is: let me recognize your true sheep, and allow me to help them in whatever way as minimum as it can be, so that they can get closer to you.
One of the reasons I write so much, is because I care for the true sheep, and I want them to be empowered to critically think about things, so that wolves disguised as sheep do not tangle them in a web of lies for dubious purposes.
Do I care about what persons think of me? not really because God loves me, this I know, I try to be polite to all, and respectful, but try to bring to limelight the truth as found in the Bible. Many persons dislike that. Too bad, my allegiance is to God.
Do I know it all? not, still learning, seeking, knocking, trying to expand conceptual framework, very willing to what others have to say because I have to presuppose that the Holy Spirit may have illuminated about some truth that jibes with the Bible.
But, if what they say does not jibe, off it goes, like if never heard it.
Kind regards.