I thought it would bring peace but all its done has shown what an awful person i am.
First things first. Your Spiritual status says "unsure" . Our God is NOT the God of confusion. The enemy seeks to confuse you. Here is THE Gospel unto Salvation: I'll just copy what I wrote to another struggling person earlier:
Let's make sure you have the proper Gospel.
God became flesh in the form of his Son, Jesus the Christ. He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of a virgin. He suffered, was crucified, and died to pay the debt we owe because of our sin. He was raised to life on the 3rd day according to the Scriptures.
If you confess with your mouth Jesus IS Lord, and believe in your heart that He was raised to life on the 3rd day, you WILL be saved.
That's it. That is the THE Gospel unto Salvation.
When that happens, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit, who will sanctify us to walk as Jesus did. We still stumble. But don't let that stumble define you. Confess it to the Lord and move on. The enemy will try and use your stumble to give you a feeling of condemnation. THAT is NOT from the Lord.
The key is to always look outward to Him, and love toward others, and NOT inward at our sin, or condemning toward others.
You are actually in a good position, with a fertile understanding of your sin, and inability to eradicate it, to believe and be born again.
Jesus came to save SINNERS (that's you and me, and ALL else who know they are lost, and in need of a Savior) NOT THE RIGHTEOUS (those that think they can make themselves clean, and work to eradicate their sin).
So I'd urge you in the strongest possible terms to confess, and believe!