So we already have disagreement on the finished work of Christ. You are claiming that Christ died only for the elect, even though the Bible is emphatic that Christ died for the sins of the whole world. At the same time, only those who obey the Gospel are saved by grace, through faith in Christ and His finished work of redemption.
Therefore chances are that we will not find any common ground.
Read 1 Cor 2:14 and tell me how a person who has not been born again, with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and cannot discern the things of the Spirit, even thinking them to be foolishness, can obey the spiritual gospel? It further says, "neither can he know them, because they (the gospels) are spiritually discerned.
John 3:16 and other scriptures pertaining to God loving the whole world, is referencing the world of believers only.
Why would Jesus say that he prays not for the world (John 17:9) that God so loved? Jesus tells us also to not love the world (1 John 2:15). Why would he tell us not to love a world that he loves?
God tells us that "as many as he loves, he rebukes and chastens" (Rev 3:19). You claim that God loves the whole world of mankind, if so, then it stands to reason that, in your interpreting of things, that God rebukes and chastens the whole world of mankind.
Have you read Psalms 73? Where David was envious at the foolish, when he saw the prosperity of "the wicked" (a part of mankind). David says in verse 5, "They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they [PLAGUED] (Greek interpretation=divinely punished) CHASTENED.
like other men.
How does Psalms 73:5 harmonize with Rev 3:19?