I can understand your reluctance to reexamine the text for fear of departing from what you perceived to be an immutable fact of scripture. However, consider Wayne Grudem (Editor of the ESV translation) as a well respected theologian you might have heard of. I doubt that you seriously think that Wayne Grudem is trying to make the Word of God fit into his own view of things. He is known for seeking the best hermeneutic, authorial intent, and is expert in the original languages, and his books are used in Bible Colleges world wide.
Do the Qualifications for Leadership Require That Elders and Deacons Must Be Married? When Paul says that an elder or deacon must be the “husband of one wife,” it is unlikely that he means that every elder or deacon must be married, for two reasons:
1. Both Jesus and Paul (1 Cor. 7:7–8; 9:5) were single, and it is unlikely that Paul would have given a requirement for eldership that not even he or Jesus himself could fulfill.
2. Paul also gives requirements about children, saying that an elder must be someone whose “children are believers” (Titus 1:6) and “he must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive” (1 Tim. 3:4). He says that deacons must be “managing their children and their own households well” (1 Tim. 3:12). It is unlikely that Paul is requiring that elders must have two or more children (the nouns are plural, implying more than one). Rather, it seems that Paul is speaking about the most common kind of situation, a married man with children, and the sense of the passage is, “If he has children, the children should be believers and submissive to their parents.” Similarly, the “husband of one wife” passages should be understood to mean, “If he is married, he should have only one wife” (or “he should be faithful to his wife”). That would be the most common situation for an elder or deacon, and Paul is speaking about the ordinary cases, giving a picture of the typical approved overseer or deacon as a faithful husband and father, and not absolutely requiring marriage or children.
Grudem, Wayne. What the Bible Says about Divorce and Remarriage (p. 50). Crossway. Kindle Edition.