Well the other day if you ask me about the bible I wouldn't have any doubth it was good. I though it was all good but the other day my firend told me that in the bible it says it's ok to sell your daughter into slavery. like forw ork and sex. To be honest and I'm NOT trying to offen anyone but God sometimes seems .. sexist against women.
First, whenever we raise a question about a moral act, we must have a basis to ask moral questions. For Christians we have an objective moral law. Meaning, murder is morally wrong, even if no one believes it is wrong. We can not have an objective moral law without a God of some form or another, and while some have tried to argue that you can, they ultimately fall back into subjective morality. Subjective morality is "in the eye of the beholder." Basically, murder may be wrong for you, but not for me. Which the logical conclusion of that is Moral Nihilism. Which is that there is no such thing as morally right or wrong.
One of the things we have to keep in mind is that we are socially conditioned by the culture we are raised in to believe certain things are evil or morally reprehensible. An example in America, would be the belief that everyone is essentially equal. Although you and I both know that some people are not equally-capable of all things. Some of us are dumber or smarter than others, some of us are better artists or terrible artists. Yet, to point this out in our culture often is risky business as it often is met with Cries of prejudice. Although, nothing is being held against someone who lacks a natural ability.
1) Like he says a man is the head of the wife and she should obey him ( like a slave )
I do not know where it says that the wife is to be a slave to the husband. Ephesians 5 is generally misquoted as an example of some kind of prejudice against women.
Ephesians 5 said:
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing
[b] her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Many people who raise this issue have never read the bible, and only go on hearsay or what they read on a popular website or youtube account. They often like to skip verse 21, and go to verse 22. As if God commands women to obey men, and men are on a free-for-all. This simply is not true. If you read verses 23-33, you will see that we males are commanded to love our wife to the same (or greater) extent that Christ loved the entire world. Just sit and ponder the scope of that. You will find no greater standard such as that. We also find in verse 28 that we as males are commanded to love our wife, as ourselves. To which in verse 29, we see a re-iteration of the "one body" concept that occurs many times in the bible. This is that when a male and female join together in the marriage covenent, they are one body. Sort of like equal halves of a puzzle if that makes sense.
YouTube - Atheism, Feminism, and the Bible <--- Ravi Zacharias is asked a similar question (click)
2) It's okay to sell a women into slavery for like sex or work and they cannot go free like a man
This comes from Exodus 21, which is quoted below.
Exodus 21 said:
7 “If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do.
8 If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself,
[b] he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her.
9 If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter.
10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.
11 If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money
One of the things we know about the women of the time in which the passage would have been dealing with, is that women were not allowed to keep slaves, or own any property. (correct me if I'm wrong) So to say that it's referring to buying a daughter as a sex slave would not fit well with the other portion of that sentence. As for only males could own property, and mentioning males in the same line as females would mean homosexuality would be taking place, which is condemned in the bible. However, we do see that if the sexual part of the relationship begins, which is outlined in verse 9, she must be treated as a wife, as she is partaking in the role of a wife (in this time period). Please correct me if I am wrong. I have also quoted a comment that response to part of the passage as well..
STR said:
There's another passage on taking female slaves in Exodus 21. If a man gives her to his son, he has to treat her as a daughter. If he has her for himself, he has to treat her as a wife, and if he takes another wife, he's not allowed to reduce her food, clothing, or conjugal rights.
If he ever deprives her of any of these things, then she can go for free.
All of these things are designed to protect the women, and I happen to not think men are as much of a monster as you seem to think. The men loved their women and took care of them back then just as you do today. It's not like these men were chaining up women in their basement!
Stand to Reason Blog: Did God Condone Slavery? <--- click
3) It's okay to stone a women to death
That would be dealing with the OT, and from my recollection it doesn't say that women strictly are to be stoned to death. Ravi Zacharias touches on that just a bit when talking about Christ in John 8, dealing with the adulterous woman.
John 8 said:
1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stoneat her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
The boldened parts are important to keep in mind. Dealing in the OT strictly though, we see that males are just as able to be stoned to death. An example below.
Deuteronomy 21 said:
18 If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid
4) A women can be forced to marry a man
I don't recall any passages dealing with this. The closest thing I can think of being a forced marriage, off the top of my head comes from Deuteronomy 25:5.
Deuteronomy 25 said:
5 If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. 6 The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel.
However, for the Hebrews at this time, it would have been a deeply rooted in Hebrew Culture, and likely would have been rather voluntary on the wifes part. Unlike modern societies, death was common at this time and lurking around the corner. There were not automated machines, and everything was done by hand. People had to care for each other, especialyl those who couldn't care for themselves. Young hands to care for the old, such as this wife would have been neccesary. (Comparable to Dependency Ratio with Social Security)
I'm not trying to offen anyone
It's alright. It's good that you are asking these questions, as if it wasn't now, it would be later when you likely wouldn't be able to find answers quickly.
but it just seems like he saying ' A women is a man's slave and has no rights what so ever' It seems so unfair and mean that God thinks about women this way
Read Ephesians 5:23-33, also watch that Ravi Zacharias clip that shows up earlier in the post.
And I'm starting to question the bible ad what's holy and right and what's not and a lot of stuff seems just
It's not bad to question certain things, as it can greatly expand our knowledge and understanding of the bible.
.. wrong and harsh and cruel or sexist.. again NOT trying to offen anyone or say God is evil REALLY I'm just wondering .. why?
Some of the things in the OT we find morally reprehensible, this is largely due to the effect that social conditioning has had on us. The sexism issue I think you could refer back to Ephesians 5, and my earlier post about equality. I am not stating that women are not equal to males, I am a complimentarian though. God has ordained certain roles in the church, such as pastorship to the male. Why this is, I do not know. It is a subject I have not been terribly concerned with.
Please help me and thanks
I hope I've cleared atleast a few things up, I may be wrong in my understanding though so don't be afraid to ask around.