Waiting on Gods Timing for a Spouse...

[33Michael33]

Hello Everyone, I would like feedback from the Group. I Am the Perfect Example of Man is Not Suppose to Be Alone. That being said I am Told Constantly that I am to wait and I am in My Christian Singleness to get closer to God as I have always pursued one relationship after another as I do not like and do not want to be alone. I am sure everyone knows where I am going with this. Should I really sit back as far as pursuing a Woman and get closer to the Lord and when I get to a certain point in my life then He will bring her to Me? I don't want to Miss My chance at True Love and Happiness because I am to scared to open My Heart again Either. I can not help but to think and feel that is letting the enemy win. Or is it letting the enemy win by my doing it my way and not trusting God by continuing pursuing Women in my Loneliness? My Heart is Everything to Me. And to share further, I am Honestly Disgusted even trying to date because of the lack of Jesus that apparently A lot of people have by the way they have No Respect for themselves especially concerning Sex. And I am truly not trying to Judge because I was there Not to long ago. Thanks In advance to anyone who takes the time to respond...

 

[Lynx]

Your happiness depends on having a mate?

That's a heavy load to put on somebody. If your happiness depends on her, it will crush her.

I've seen a lot of people who based all their happiness on their mates. It has never not crushed the mate. I have never one time seen the spouse not buckle under the pressure and eventually leave the relationship.

Nobody can handle being responsible for somebody else's happiness. It's just too much to bear.

 

[Karlon]

Hello Everyone, I would like feedback from the Group. I Am the Perfect Example of Man is Not Suppose to Be Alone. That being said I am Told Constantly that I am to wait and I am in My Christian Singleness to get closer to God as I have always pursued one relationship after another as I do not like and do not want to be alone. I am sure everyone knows where I am going with this. Should I really sit back as far as pursuing a Woman and get closer to the Lord and when I get to a certain point in my life then He will bring her to Me? I don't want to Miss My chance at True Love and Happiness because I am to scared to open My Heart again Either. I can not help but to think and feel that is letting the enemy win. Or is it letting the enemy win by my doing it my way and not trusting God by continuing pursuing Women in my Loneliness? My Heart is Everything to Me. And to share further, I am Honestly Disgusted even trying to date because of the lack of Jesus that apparently A lot of people have by the way they have No Respect for themselves especially concerning Sex. And I am truly not trying to Judge because I was there Not to long ago. Thanks In advance to anyone who takes the time to respond...

sit back? when a born again Christian asks Jesus for a spouse, he or she TOTALLY KNOWS Jesus will answer the prayer. yes, sit back & enjoy the ride!!! you will need to flourish in your patience because it usually takes longer than we expect to hear form Jesus upon the answer of a request. i asked Jesus for a spouse back around 2012 & the Holy Spirit said to me: "about 3 to 4 years". sure enough, it was almost 4 complete years!!! 204 weeks to be exact on the wait!!! you aren't missing on your chance when Jesus is involved. if you disobey Jesus, you are missing out. only you can let the enemy in & sway your trust & faith, don't give in to him. there's no sense in asking Jesus for something then initiating your own way. in the Christian life, waiting may be the #1 issue to cope with. the faster life gets, the less patience people have. time will fly by at warp speed if you remove all the impatience & wondering. in a way, simply forget that you asked. i am an example of someone who lived a spoiled life because i was always able to buy what i wanted & go & do whatever i wanted when i wanted. so from time to time, i have to readjust my patient level. in fact, just this week i needed to fix it. in addition to your praying, ask a trusted pastor, friends or family if they know any women that fit your character. the waiting on an answer isn't something that anyone can fix. there's no band aid, medicine or remedy to help you. so teach & train yourself to enjoy waiting. remember, it is thru adversity that we learn the most!!! blessings to you.

 

[Jared_K]

Lynx is correct. The cold, harsh truth behind anyone who is lonely is they’re not ready yet for a relationship. Relationships should be 50/50, right? Wrong. Relationships should be 100/100. You don’t NEED someone to complete you. You need to complete yourself. And you WANT someone who compliments and enhances your life, as you do them.

Focus on yourself. Focus on growing. As much as I hate to admit it, and it may be an unpopular opinion despite being true, even single Christian men and women (including myself) cannot resist an attractive potential mate. Get in the gym. Build those muscles. Get closer to Christ. Get into a large strong Christian community that values and promotes traditional relationships, like singles groups events. Work hard, retire harder.

The very second you take your attention away from being lonely and committing fully on your own personal growth is when women start to notice you. It happens on a spiritual level. I’ve got random texts from church women showing interest the second I say “Forget it, I’m going alone.” When you’re at your peak physical fitness, you’ve got a good career (or retirement), and you’re happy regardless of having anyone is when you’re going to get approached. There are men out there who turn heads with their presence alone. Confidence isn’t a behavior, it’s an aura. Something you radiate without even trying. You wear your effort like armor, and at that point women are going to have a hard time keeping their hands off of you.

And above all else, talk to God daily. Tell him to bring you the right woman who is going to put in equal amounts of effort that you do. Write a prayer of petition. “God, this is the kind of woman I’m looking for and I trust you will bring her in my life when I’m ready.” My father wrote a prayer of petition and said he wanted a wife before the end of the WEEK and here I am. The marriage didn’t work out, but the petition worked. Give god more time. Don’t set a time limit. Just trust in god and focus on yourself. If god tells you to do something or not to do something, listen to him. Obey him. Surrender to him. Trust in him.

 

[cinder]

Well, if we all sit around waiting for God to bring our perfect spouse to our doorstep, we're either going to end up single or married to delivery drivers.

But the main things that are going to determine the quality of your marriage are you character and your willingness to be picky enough to wait for a wife of good character. So tell yourself as many times a day as you need to: it's better to be single than in a bad relationship.

So pour your energy into becoming the kind of man that will make a good husband and learning to spot the signs of good and bad character in a woman. And get involved in stuff that will give you the opportunity to meet some women.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Your happiness depends on having a mate?

That's a heavy load to put on somebody. If your happiness depends on her, it will crush her.

I've seen a lot of people who based all their happiness on their mates. It has never not crushed the mate. I have never one time seen the spouse not buckle under the pressure and eventually leave the relationship.

Nobody can handle being responsible for somebody else's happiness. It's just too much to bear.

Speaking from the perspective of being married, this comment is 100% true and accurate. I would guess it's the reason for many divorces and a lot of unhappy relationships.

 

[ThereRoseaLamb]

Well, if we all sit around waiting for God to bring our perfect spouse to our doorstep, we're either going to end up single or married to delivery drivers.

That is an excellent line! lol

 

[33Michael33]

Your happiness depends on having a mate?

That's a heavy load to put on somebody. If your happiness depends on her, it will crush her.

I've seen a lot of people who based all their happiness on their mates. It has never not crushed the mate. I have never one time seen the spouse not buckle under the pressure and eventually leave the relationship.

Nobody can handle being responsible for somebody else's happiness. It's just too much to bear.

It is Not that My Happiness depends on my future spouse as I have been that way in my past and I do Understand Exactly what you are saying. It is that I could have or fulfill everything that I feel in life. And it means nothing to me without having my spouse to share it with. Of course there is A lot of Me's and Her's in there. However, I Now know it is Gods Will, Not Mine in the First Place.

 

[33Michael33]

sit back? when a born again Christian asks Jesus for a spouse, he or she TOTALLY KNOWS Jesus will answer the prayer. yes, sit back & enjoy the ride!!! you will need to flourish in your patience because it usually takes longer than we expect to hear form Jesus upon the answer of a request. i asked Jesus for a spouse back around 2012 & the Holy Spirit said to me: "about 3 to 4 years". sure enough, it was almost 4 complete years!!! 204 weeks to be exact on the wait!!! you aren't missing on your chance when Jesus is involved. if you disobey Jesus, you are missing out. only you can let the enemy in & sway your trust & faith, don't give in to him. there's no sense in asking Jesus for something then initiating your own way. in the Christian life, waiting may be the #1 issue to cope with. the faster life gets, the less patience people have. time will fly by at warp speed if you remove all the impatience & wondering. in a way, simply forget that you asked. i am an example of someone who lived a spoiled life because i was always able to buy what i wanted & go & do whatever i wanted when i wanted. so from time to time, i have to readjust my patient level. in fact, just this week i needed to fix it. in addition to your praying, ask a trusted pastor, friends or family if they know any women that fit your character. the waiting on an answer isn't something that anyone can fix. there's no band aid, medicine or remedy to help you. so teach & train yourself to enjoy waiting. remember, it is thru adversity that we learn the most!!! blessings to you.

Thank You for Sharing!!! Very Well Said.

 

[33Michael33]

Lynx is correct. The cold, harsh truth behind anyone who is lonely is they’re not ready yet for a relationship. Relationships should be 50/50, right? Wrong. Relationships should be 100/100. You don’t NEED someone to complete you. You need to complete yourself. And you WANT someone who compliments and enhances your life, as you do them.

Focus on yourself. Focus on growing. As much as I hate to admit it, and it may be an unpopular opinion despite being true, even single Christian men and women (including myself) cannot resist an attractive potential mate. Get in the gym. Build those muscles. Get closer to Christ. Get into a large strong Christian community that values and promotes traditional relationships, like singles groups events. Work hard, retire harder.

The very second you take your attention away from being lonely and committing fully on your own personal growth is when women start to notice you. It happens on a spiritual level. I’ve got random texts from church women showing interest the second I say “Forget it, I’m going alone.” When you’re at your peak physical fitness, you’ve got a good career (or retirement), and you’re happy regardless of having anyone is when you’re going to get approached. There are men out there who turn heads with their presence alone. Confidence isn’t a behavior, it’s an aura. Something you radiate without even trying. You wear your effort like armor, and at that point women are going to have a hard time keeping their hands off of you.

And above all else, talk to God daily. Tell him to bring you the right woman who is going to put in equal amounts of effort that you do. Write a prayer of petition. “God, this is the kind of woman I’m looking for and I trust you will bring her in my life when I’m ready.” My father wrote a prayer of petition and said he wanted a wife before the end of the WEEK and here I am. The marriage didn’t work out, but the petition worked. Give god more time. Don’t set a time limit. Just trust in god and focus on yourself. If god tells you to do something or not to do something, listen to him. Obey him. Surrender to him. Trust in him.

I Have Done ALL of These Things. And you are Correct. I have been getting more attention Ect. Just not the right one yet obviously. The Only thing that I have still struggled with is the Patience. Thank You for the Well written, Informative feedback as always.

 

[33Michael33]

Well, if we all sit around waiting for God to bring our perfect spouse to our doorstep, we're either going to end up single or married to delivery drivers.

But the main things that are going to determine the quality of your marriage are you character and your willingness to be picky enough to wait for a wife of good character. So tell yourself as many times a day as you need to: it's better to be single than in a bad relationship.

So pour your energy into becoming the kind of man that will make a good husband and learning to spot the signs of good and bad character in a woman. And get involved in stuff that will give you the opportunity to meet some women.

AMEN To This!!! I Have, I Am 100% Better Slowing things down and doing it Gods Way. Instead of my Own. Following His Laws Now. Instead of what I was doing so very wrong against those laws before. Thank You.

 

[33Michael33]

Speaking from the perspective of being married, this comment is 100% true and accurate. I would guess it's the reason for many divorces and a lot of unhappy relationships.

Yes, I was Married for 15 Years. I Realize after the fact all of the mistakes that I have made my entire life. God has Corrected me and I am Beyond Grateful. I am obviously a work in progress. However, I Am on the Right Path Now.

 

[33Michael33]

That is an excellent line! lol

Not to Mention Hilarious.

 

[Jared_K]

Dating at the end of the say is still a numbers game. Hypothetically, if all single women in your area knew who you were then your chances would skyrocket. You need to get yourself out there. Google meetup spots, go to coffee shops, join clubs, talk to people at the gym and make friends. Go to the singles events at church and introduce yourself. If no one is approaching you, approach them. If they’re Christian, use christian pickups lines like “Y’know, I was reading numbers and it just dawned on me that I don’t have yours.” I’m sure there’s a LOT more. If they’re not Christian, you still may meet someone who loves you enough to attend church with you.

 

[Krumbeard]

Hello Everyone, I would like feedback from the Group. I Am the Perfect Example of Man is Not Suppose to Be Alone. That being said I am Told Constantly that I am to wait and I am in My Christian Singleness to get closer to God as I have always pursued one relationship after another as I do not like and do not want to be alone. I am sure everyone knows where I am going with this. Should I really sit back as far as pursuing a Woman and get closer to the Lord and when I get to a certain point in my life then He will bring her to Me? I don't want to Miss My chance at True Love and Happiness because I am to scared to open My Heart again Either. I can not help but to think and feel that is letting the enemy win. Or is it letting the enemy win by my doing it my way and not trusting God by continuing pursuing Women in my Loneliness? My Heart is Everything to Me. And to share further, I am Honestly Disgusted even trying to date because of the lack of Jesus that apparently A lot of people have by the way they have No Respect for themselves especially concerning Sex. And I am truly not trying to Judge because I was there Not to long ago. Thanks In advance to anyone who takes the time to respond...

"Waiting on God's timing for a spouse..."

I can't say I quite ever understood that.

Although I'm sure I've used that line myself in place of "I've been rejected again." "Or I'm too messed up to be married. " Etc...

But if I'm jobless and really want a job, do I just wait for it to happen? (Actually....hmmm, Krum decides he no longer likes his job...)

Anyway, I know this topic has been beaten to death and beyond. Haha

 

[Lynx]

*Lynx demonstrates how to wait.

*Lynx peers over the edge of his perch, purrs at krumbeard, then goes back to sleep.

Waiting is easy. It's literally the default option.

 

[whostoni]

Hello Everyone, I would like feedback from the Group. I Am the Perfect Example of Man is Not Suppose to Be Alone. That being said I am Told Constantly that I am to wait and I am in My Christian Singleness to get closer to God as I have always pursued one relationship after another as I do not like and do not want to be alone. I am sure everyone knows where I am going with this. Should I really sit back as far as pursuing a Woman and get closer to the Lord and when I get to a certain point in my life then He will bring her to Me? I don't want to Miss My chance at True Love and Happiness because I am to scared to open My Heart again Either. I can not help but to think and feel that is letting the enemy win. Or is it letting the enemy win by my doing it my way and not trusting God by continuing pursuing Women in my Loneliness? My Heart is Everything to Me. And to share further, I am Honestly Disgusted even trying to date because of the lack of Jesus that apparently A lot of people have by the way they have No Respect for themselves especially concerning Sex. And I am truly not trying to Judge because I was there Not to long ago. Thanks In advance to anyone who takes the time to respond...

I feel like I'm right where you are. My loneliness can be overwhelming at times but in also drawing closer to Jesus which has helped me when I'm feeling lonely. I think we just need to draw closer to Jesus, in his word and I'm prayer... Lots of prayer... And just be yourself. Allowing Jesus to shine everywhere you are and his light will draw people to you and the Holy Spirit will tell you.