know that changes don't happen instantly, but i just dont think i can call myself a Christian yet, because ... i still seem way too bad...
If you are measuring whether you are saved by how good or bad you are, I think you are missing the Gospel.
Satan will torment you with that game. Forever whispering, “ You call yourself a Christian!? Look at the things you do! You aren’t saved!”
He is the accuser of the BRETHREN, not the unsaved. He doesn’t need to accuse them of anything.
Sin for a Christian is like quicksand. The harder YOU struggle against it, the stronger the hold it has over you.
You need to come to the revelation that Jesus has paid for all your sin. It is finished. This realization, and the love and gratitude it bears toward Christ for His Grace, is what will enable you to take every thought captive, and give it to Him.
Try that next time you are tempted. Stop in your tracks, and ask Jesus to take that thought to sin. You’ll be amazed by His Power in you. And the sin that has such a stranglehold will no longer have it.
That doesn’t mean you won’t still stumble. But confess it, and move on. Don’t dwell on it, and continue to believe in Who Jesus is, and what He has done for you.
Then experience the joy of His Presence!