With all the talk of race relations lately and after some interactions with my sister last night, my mind has been on the relationship between men and women in general and how there is such a need for redemption there. I was doing a bit of self-reflection and acknowledged that while every person struggles with pride, it seems to me that men have a certain type of innate pride that wants to come out in relation to women where they believe that they have to be more capable than a woman, whether that's in terms of physical strength, intellectual prowess, or skill in any subject or task that interests them. Some men have learned to humble themselves as far as this goes, but many have not. I have not arrived there myself, so it's another thing before me for which I need to seek redemption.
Also, I was just thinking about how if I or any other man said, "Wives should respect their husbands," there's an immediate need for a bunch of qualifications to that statement, and for some women a wall immediately goes up. I'm not saying that's a bad thing in the sense that there shouldn't be qualifications, but I think it reveals that there is a deep wound that has been created by men who have hurt and dominated women socially, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and/or spiritually. I have to imagine that when a woman has that experience or even has a friend or family member who has, how could there not be hesitation on her part to trust any man when she knows he has the same capability as those others who were abusive and domineering? Or on a bigger scale, with so much history in the world of women being told that they aren't of equal personhood to a man enough to be allowed to testify in a court of law, own property, get an education, cast a vote in an election, receive equal pay for the same job well done, etc., why wouldn't there be some calloused women out there who are sick and tired of this type of treatment and scream for equality no matter what it takes? And even more women who maybe aren't calloused but are still sick and tired of this?
One of the most valuable qualities of a person that will immediately contribute to the redemption of relationships between races and genders is the ability to look in the mirror and repent. Consider "How am I contributing to the problem?" "How can I take greater steps to combat it?" Every time a woman makes some type of critique of men and I see a man fire back with a defensive rebuttal about her faults as an individual or the faults of women, I feel like the wound is knicked and starts to bleed a little again. Healing and redemption are delayed for a few moments longer.
Men, next time you want to get defensive about something a woman says, think about the generational sin you are carrying with you and your need for Christ instead of adding another layer to the scar that's trying to heal. Women have their own generational sins to combat, and there is a time and place to have loving conversations about an individual's sin, but you're going to further God's kingdom more by humbly admitting your faults rather than adding fuel to the fire of discord. Are you going to be a brother or an enemy? Are you going to be a sharp object striking against the wound or a gentle and protective salve of grace? Are you going to build trust through love or further animosity through accusation?
I long for the day when the wound closes for good.
Also, I was just thinking about how if I or any other man said, "Wives should respect their husbands," there's an immediate need for a bunch of qualifications to that statement, and for some women a wall immediately goes up. I'm not saying that's a bad thing in the sense that there shouldn't be qualifications, but I think it reveals that there is a deep wound that has been created by men who have hurt and dominated women socially, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and/or spiritually. I have to imagine that when a woman has that experience or even has a friend or family member who has, how could there not be hesitation on her part to trust any man when she knows he has the same capability as those others who were abusive and domineering? Or on a bigger scale, with so much history in the world of women being told that they aren't of equal personhood to a man enough to be allowed to testify in a court of law, own property, get an education, cast a vote in an election, receive equal pay for the same job well done, etc., why wouldn't there be some calloused women out there who are sick and tired of this type of treatment and scream for equality no matter what it takes? And even more women who maybe aren't calloused but are still sick and tired of this?
One of the most valuable qualities of a person that will immediately contribute to the redemption of relationships between races and genders is the ability to look in the mirror and repent. Consider "How am I contributing to the problem?" "How can I take greater steps to combat it?" Every time a woman makes some type of critique of men and I see a man fire back with a defensive rebuttal about her faults as an individual or the faults of women, I feel like the wound is knicked and starts to bleed a little again. Healing and redemption are delayed for a few moments longer.
Men, next time you want to get defensive about something a woman says, think about the generational sin you are carrying with you and your need for Christ instead of adding another layer to the scar that's trying to heal. Women have their own generational sins to combat, and there is a time and place to have loving conversations about an individual's sin, but you're going to further God's kingdom more by humbly admitting your faults rather than adding fuel to the fire of discord. Are you going to be a brother or an enemy? Are you going to be a sharp object striking against the wound or a gentle and protective salve of grace? Are you going to build trust through love or further animosity through accusation?
I long for the day when the wound closes for good.
