Little blessings in disguise

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Christian158

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Hello. I am almost 15 years old and have never had a boyfriend and up until recently it has never bothered me. I moved from the busy suburbs to a small town filled with cowboys, horses, and whiskey stores 1 year ago and I can be totally honest when I say I miss my home town. In my grade there are 17 guys and 17 girls and only a handful are in relationships. I do however have a crush on about three guys and they are nothing less than respectful, polite, and sweet. I am worried that Im boy crazy and want to please God and my family. My mom expects so much from me because my 3 older brothers have all hit bumpy paths and they all are stuck. This past week a new guy entered my life. He is in the grade above me- he is a sophmore. And he thinks Im cute and has a crush on me. Well my brain and heart are telling me the feeling is mutual. And as I got so excited and my hopes up as I thought my fairytale life was actually gonna happen I heard something about his past. He isnt a virgin. He did it in 7th grade. My heart basically broke because thats one of the many things I liked about the 3 other guys, who have showed signs they liked me since day one, I liked how if we dated that and we kissed I would remember him and that moment and he would remember me. I seeked support from my friend who only said that not all fairytales come true. I thankfully have more friends and told her everything. At the end of the conversation I had found hope. I had told her that God doesnt judge me from my mistakes and that I shouldnt judge this guy for his. And as it helped me for a while I am still worried about this. He is a nice guy
He is funny, shy, sweet, and unbelievably cute but just like everyone he made a mistake. He isnt the kind of guy that would ask for sex. So that does take some weight off my shoulders but the feeling that he isnt a virgin and I am one and will stay one until the day Im married makes me upset. He is a baptist, and I am too, whereas the other three are catholic which could provide conflict. I know. I am a teenager and I am dramatic and forget that I probably wont marry this guy but its so hard. Im ready to grow up, to take responsibility, to have a special someone hold my hand, and I know its wrong but I still feel envious of that girl who got a boyfriend in kindergarten and is still dating him off and on. I am naive and all I have ever wanted is that hollywood fantasy in movies and even in real life that lead people like me to expect it one day. Much advice needed. Thank you so much
 
You're still young :)
you have more time to come for those stuffs but it's hard to ignore
what i can only say is that
focus first on your priorities
enjoy being young
don't rush things because the time will come when God will provide the right man for you :)
let him be your inspiration
 
Hi Christian158! So first, I'm 16, and I want to assure you that what you're thinking/feeling is VERY normal! That being said, is it right?

If you're not planning on getting married in the next year or two, why are you dating? It is something that in my opinion, more teens should be thinking about. Why? Why am I doing this? There isn't anything evil about a casual dating relationship that I know of; but most of the time, if you're honest, the answer to the "why" question is a selfish one. How is that helping you in your ultimate dream for a fairy tale wedding and awesome marriage? Selflessness is an essential part of a relationship, yet if you are getting romantically attached to someone for SELFISH reasons, how is that going to prepare you for marriage? Marriage is compared in the Bible to Christ dying on the cross, which is the most selfless act in world history!

As I look at it, you can either do a selfish act now, and date this guy even if it doesn't lead to marriage, or you can trust God for your future and wait until you meet the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Sure, its not easy. God never said it would be! Sure, just because you're dating this guy now doesn't mean that you won't get married to the man of your dreams, but if he were in the room with you do you think HE would want you dating this other guy?

And one more thing, temptation is NOT wrong and sinful, the Son of God Himself was tempted; it's what you DO with the temptation that makes it a sin or a good work seen through the blood of Christ.

I will be praying for you sister, and never forget, there are others out there who are going through the same things you are!
 
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