From a girl. Help please

[morgan2294]

So lately I've found my self wanting a boyfriend really bad. I don't think I would actually be ready for that but I guess I just want know that someone cares about me, thinks I'm beautiful....Girls should know what I'm talking about. I know that God loves me soooo much and he's all I need but sometimes I just want a boyyy to really really like me.... Idk. I know I probably don't need a boyfriend, since I'm 15, but like a lot my friends have been dating for years. I really do love God, and I know he loves me, but I don't know what I'm going to do about this... I think j just want a guyreally close to me who I. can talk to about God and stuff.
Is it wrong for me to want a boyfriend??

 

[Stand_Up_4_God]

Hi Morgan,

No it's not ''wrong'' of you hon, everyone goes through that stage in life, especially as a teen. You're still so young, you are indeed beautiful, loved, wanted, needed, and everything else in life. Here's what I've found out in life, from experience, but mainly from others experience. If you go looking for love, it might last for a while, but not long term...you can't just say God bring the one for me to my door step lol...however, don't go chasing after someone, just look for a friend you can trust, you can confide in, talk with about God, pray with, etc. and all the things you want and need in life. Then let whatever happens happen, maybe you'll just be friends, maybe more, but always, ALWAYS pray about it before just jumping into dating someone. Remember ''seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you'' Matthew 6:33. What is ''all these things''?

The desires of your heart, the needs of life, etc. so long as they are in line with God's will for you. It'll be alright hon, you're fine just being yourself. However if and when a guy does decide he wants to date you, remember to keep God as the center and foundation of life, your friendship, relationship, and all things. Both of you need to be Christians, for a house divided against itself can't stand, I can't recall that verse right off hand, anyways, but one that's founded on God, stands forever. Heartbreak will come eventually more than likely, as not all relationships last, and it's most certainly rare for the first one you have to be the last. It's possible but rare, however, no matter what, keep your head held high, be proud of yourself, be proud to be a child of God's. Never, ever, ever lower yourself,your standerds, or your morals.

Hope this helps, sorry it's not ''more in debth'' I'm rather tired lol. God bless!

 

[morgan2294]

Thanks that helps a lot. I have heard a lot of those things before but it's really good to be reminded and encouraged. I definatly would NEVER date a guy who isn't a christian. That is my highest standard.
When u say " just being yourself" it's weird because I don't really know who I am sometimes. I knowI am a child of God. But I act differently In Different situations. Sometimes I'm shy and quiet. Sometimes I'm outgoing, but I don't know which is the real me
I will definatly "hold out for a hero" as the christy miller books say if you've ever read them. I just wish he would come sooner sometimes... Hmm..

 

[caygirl_pana]

Yeah , i can relate to what you feel really, im only 13 and all but im mature minded for my age,and when i tell ppl im 13 they never believe me cuz i look like im 16.

but yeah , its not wrong at all, just dont rush getting in a relationship with a guy.

 

[Stand_Up_4_God]

Thanks that helps a lot. I have heard a lot of those things before but it's really good to be reminded and encouraged. I definatly would NEVER date a guy who isn't a christian. That is my highest standard.
When u say " just being yourself" it's weird because I don't really know who I am sometimes. I knowI am a child of God. But I act differently In Different situations. Sometimes I'm shy and quiet. Sometimes I'm outgoing, but I don't know which is the real me
I will definatly "hold out for a hero" as the christy miller books say if you've ever read them. I just wish he would come sooner sometimes... Hmm..

Morgan, I know you've heard it all before, a bazillion times lol...however, it's always great to ''take caution to the wind''. Great that you'd never date a guy that's not Christian, and it should be your highest standard.

As far as being yourself, go with the flow...you see, we're all shy at times, outspoken, silly, relaxed, etc. with those we're around, we ''pick up vibes'' from them. It's one of those things that is subconscious. We don't take notice on it until we're not around them. You're very wise and mature, very well sound with morals, follow God and you can't fail. Most will tell you ''follow your heart'' well, see, here's the thing about that. The heart is a beautiful thing, IF we allow God into it and to work in us totally. Other wise it's selfish, and very deceitful. Is that our fault? Not by any means, it's part of the flesh. Let the Spirit lead you.

I'll pray, and God bless yo hon,
Sue.

 

[SamIam]

dont depend on boys for your identity, or to feel pretty.....

 

[Stand_Up_4_God]

Yeah , i can relate to what you feel really, im only 13 and all but im mature minded for my age,and when i tell ppl im 13 they never believe me cuz i look like im 16.

but yeah , its not wrong at all, just dont rush getting in a relationship with a guy.

Hi Caygirl, you seem rather mature, wise, and all as well...however, here's the thing, even the most mature person, even the strongest Christian can fall when tempted....if the opportunity presents itself. In this case, a guy asking one of you young ladies out, you'd be very tempted to say yes to him...possibly that is.

I'm not saying that you or anyone else would give in and say yes just to have someone to be with or anything, so please don't misunderstand, I'm just saying, yeild things in life. Both of you ladies are still so young, 13 and 15 years old. You each have way more important things to worry about and focus on, I know that has been said all your life, however, get use to it lol you'll hear it all the time.

You have both passed the ewww boy's and cooties stage of life(lol) and moved on to the hey, they aren't so bad stage of life.Bet the parents are happy about that, just filled with joy.

Both of you will experience things in life with guys, and you'll be all at times, however, when you find the one for you, then life will be great . Take each person you know, friend, boyfriend, whatever, and learn a life lesson from it. Learn about them, learn about yourself, allow God to shape, break, and mold you.

Be the clay and allow Him to be the artist as He is, enjoy life, stay encouraged. When life seems like ''oh I'll never have a boyfriend'' or ''I'll never have someone that'll love me and say I'm beautiful'' or so on, open up your Bible, Psalm is great for encouraging and uplifting, as well as inspiring. Or any part of the Bible really, pray, just find something to do. Even if need be, call a friend or family member, pray with the, or just chit chat!

Bless both of you wonder ladies so much.

 

[morgan2294]

Thanks, sue for all you advice. I am definatly trying not to worry about having a boyfriend. It's hard sometimes, but I'll keep praying. Thanks so much, I know Gid will get me through this! I just can't wait till I'm older, and I know that one perfect guy for me

 

[Rehoboth16]

Hey Morgan...When I was 14, I had this exact same desire. It got soo bad that my mother saw how down I was and I burst out crying and spilled everything to her. I know how pressuring it is and how one can want this specific kind of love. My parents told me to wait even when they knew it would probably be the hardest thing in the world but it is soo much more worth it when u find the right person at the right age so that u can deal with everything that comes with the relationship. Though I thought I would never date a person who was not christian, it is possible I would have fallen for a person who wasn't simply because I was deperate. Hold on tight to God for help and comfort...focus on school now(it's the age) and when u r older and God says u r ready, that guy will come and u will not regret that u waited. If it helps u feel better, i'm 17 and have never dated anyone before. But I know when I do it's God's timing and my happiness will be complete!! God Bless.

 

[morgan2294]

Thanks I get this interesting feeling for repect for people who have never dated anyone. Just makes me think- when ppl like that ( hopefully me) get married, they'll have everything to give their husband/ wife. Thanks for all the encouragement everyone

 

[dustin]

nope not at all

 

[morgan2294]

Not at all what??

 

[JesusChaser]

You know it sounds like your typical girl wanting to find someone situation. So that way you know your not the first or only person to go thru it and might be encouraging. Also it says in Song of Solomon not to awaken love until marriage! I mean it's up to you to depict that verse but alot of the time when people are in "relationships" they do that and that's why they never work! Among other reasons. Also in the new testiment it talks about when it comes to young love flee from it! Also I would say your standards are awesome (about only dating a christian) but you really should add another one onto it. Don't date unless your going to marry that person.

 

[Stand_Up_4_God]

You know it sounds like your typical girl wanting to find someone situation. So that way you know your not the first or only person to go thru it and might be encouraging. Also it says in Song of Solomon not to awaken love until marriage! I mean it's up to you to depict that verse but alot of the time when people are in "relationships" they do that and that's why they never work! Among other reasons. Also in the new testiment it talks about when it comes to young love flee from it! Also I would say your standards are awesome (about only dating a christian) but you really should add another one onto it. Don't date unless your going to marry that person.

I think that when it says not to awaken love until marriage, that means not to engage in any sexual activity or anything that will tempt either of you. To flee if you are tempted. Also, that's the point in dating, to see if you could marry them.You have to learn all about them, sure you can do that as friends, but not as good. It's up to each person though, whatever God says to their heart. Just some thoughts though. God bless.

 

[Mands]

So lately I've found my self wanting a boyfriend really bad. I don't think I would actually be ready for that but I guess I just want know that someone cares about me, thinks I'm beautiful....Girls should know what I'm talking about. I know that God loves me soooo much and he's all I need but sometimes I just want a boyyy to really really like me.... Idk. I know I probably don't need a boyfriend, since I'm 15, but like a lot my friends have been dating for years. I really do love God, and I know he loves me, but I don't know what I'm going to do about this... I think j just want a guyreally close to me who I. can talk to about God and stuff.
Is it wrong for me to want a boyfriend??

Hey Hey Morgan


Nope, it's not wrong - I was in your position once upon a time (when I was fifteen - which feels like yesterday) I felt exactly that way - that I wanted someone to tell me I was beautiful; someone who would be there always - hold my hand, kiss me goodnight, cuddle up and watch movies with blah blah! I actually didn't date until 3 months before I was 18. I went through most of high school without a boyfriend, and now that I look back, I am SO happy I waited. You see, when you are 15 - thats the age you get to just be YOU! 100%. Not tied to a guy or anything - you are as free as a bird - (even if it's a lonely bird) there is NOTHING wrong with wanting someone special! But just wait. There is so much that comes along with dating, and it really can be a hard and heart breaking experience - and it really is hard to deal with (speaking from a recent break up ) So I know how much you want to have the beautiful boy to call your own (and someday you will) but don't rush into it. Even if all your friends have guys and you are still single - keep your chin up! Someday some guy will come into your life and blow your socks off! He'll be everything you wanted! One of my best friends is almost 19 and she has never dated. She always comes to me and asks how it is...what its like to date. She is pretty impatient sometimes It's normal for us gals to want a guy ....and to want someone to make us feel like we belong ( i know I do!) All I want to say is try and be patient while you wait - there is nothing more damaging then rushing in there and into something that one day wont work out, and that you will regret. (experience talking...) And since you sound so much like I did at that age, I just want to share that with you. But yea, sometimes you just REALLY REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY want that prince charming to come RIGHT NOW! And don't lose hope or feel like your missing out - just be happy to be you and some guy will come along one day and adore you for everything you are Never ever let yourself think you NEED a guy tho - because you don't trully NEED anyone but GOD! That's a huge mistake a lot of us girls make....

Just keep pushing forward, Sweetie! Someday he will pop up, and trust me - SOMEDAY COMES REALLY FAST!

 

[Mands]

I think that when it says not to awaken love until marriage, that means not to engage in any sexual activity or anything that will tempt either of you...

EXACTLY! That is a huge mistake. Never ever ever ever let your standards drop. It really will tear you apart, and it is a part of you that you can't get back... Don't give anything away until its your wedding night and you know that man is going to be with you all the days of your life!

 

[morgan2294]

Thanks mands!!! that really helps and thanks to everyone for all u have to say!

 

[BellaFlor]

When I was 15 I was feeling the same like you, but most that I desired meeting the Right One for me.
But I kept on waiting and waiting for him, and after 23/24 years I met my husband!

And waiting for the Right Timing in God, that's when you will be feeling More Blessed too! It is all Worth the Wait! I don't think one should be dating too much with many different guys and that way be searching for yourself, although this is sure a choice you make by yourself, if you want to try finding him this way. But I think that the Best is when God bring you both together when you both are ready to meet!

 

[morgan2294]

Yeahhh so I met this really amazing guy friend who is probably the best friend I have ever had. We have helped each other sooooo much and I really really like being friends with him. But last night I made the mistake of telling him that if we were older like actually looking for someone to marry, I would consider dating him. I thought that was ok to say that because everyhting he had told me so far indicated that he thought I was awesome and I love that. But when I said it he just told me he know that feeling and I knew he meant not for me. Then I asked him if what I said made things weird- and he said kinda but that was ok. I felt so dumb and he just kept telling me I'm not dumb and blah blah blah. He didn't even get mad at all. I find that pretty amazing and I think of we were older I would date him but I guess he doesn't feel the same. He's still a really great friend, it's just gonna take me a while I forgive myself for that.

 

[BellaFlor]

The best thing is to keep on being friends with him, and then see what the future brings later on.You shouldn't feel too hurried about finding the right boyfriend, you will get there when the time is ready for you both! There is too much pressure around about getting a boyfriend at a young age, whilst one should instead focuse on what God might have for you to do before you get a boyfriend and then marry? It is sure normal liking boys at your age, nothing wrong with that. But at the same time, if you hurry too much with it, before even God thinks it fine, then you might fall more in wrong hands than in the right hands with God's Timing in mind.