Divorce

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JamesHurst

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My parents are getting a divorce and at the moment I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Last night they had a massive fight and it was obviously the final straw and my mother left and she's staying with her new man for the moment. They've had a lot of problems for years now and they've tried counseling but I guess they've given up on each other now so I don't really know what's going to happen. My dad said that I'll probably be given the choice of who I want to live with but I don't know. My parents have been basically on the phone all day trying to arrange everything and decide on what will happen, I guess they want to get it over with as soon as possible. I don't really know who I want to live with. My mother works a lot and has to go away on business quite a bit so I don't know if that will change or not if I move in with her, she also is looking into getting me a private tuter so I can stay being homeschooled, and she's more protective over me, I'm not sure if I've said this on here before but I have schizophrenia so she doesn't like me being by myself for that long in case something happens. But my dad is the one who currently homeschools me and then he works night but he said that if I live with him then he'll have to get another job so he can pay for everything so I'll have to be back in school which he thinks might be good for me, and he was talking about me having more responsibility like I'd have to help with the housework and stuff which I haven't really done before. There's pros and cons to both and I guess it's not really a surprise to me that their getting divorced, I just hope that God can help them deal with it in a good way and that they can still end up in heaven despite it. Lifes a rollercoaster and I'm not sure if I want it to keep going.
 
JamesHurst said:
My parents are getting a divorce and at the moment I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Last night they had a massive fight and it was obviously the final straw and my mother left and she's staying with her new man for the moment. They've had a lot of problems for years now and they've tried counseling but I guess they've given up on each other now so I don't really know what's going to happen. My dad said that I'll probably be given the choice of who I want to live with but I don't know. My parents have been basically on the phone all day trying to arrange everything and decide on what will happen, I guess they want to get it over with as soon as possible. I don't really know who I want to live with. My mother works a lot and has to go away on business quite a bit so I don't know if that will change or not if I move in with her, she also is looking into getting me a private tuter so I can stay being homeschooled, and she's more protective over me, I'm not sure if I've said this on here before but I have schizophrenia so she doesn't like me being by myself for that long in case something happens. But my dad is the one who currently homeschools me and then he works night but he said that if I live with him then he'll have to get another job so he can pay for everything so I'll have to be back in school which he thinks might be good for me, and he was talking about me having more responsibility like I'd have to help with the housework and stuff which I haven't really done before. There's pros and cons to both and I guess it's not really a surprise to me that their getting divorced, I just hope that God can help them deal with it in a good way and that they can still end up in heaven despite it. Lifes a rollercoaster and I'm not sure if I want it to keep going.
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Suggestion. Tell them this:
"I'm 13 years old and your son. I'm not a pawn in your games. Now start treating me like your son again."

Truth be known, you do have a say who you'll stay with. One of those choices is both. My younger siblings had all their stuff in two homes -- their mom's and Dad's. All they had to do was remember where to get off the bus after school -- Mom's house or Dad's house. In your case, since you're home schooled, your parents have to remember which house you're living in each day.

Life is a roller coaster. We end up going places we never wanted to go, but the trip is amazing and the destination is fantastic. You will be given more responsibilities. You're supposed to get that. But don't let them treat you like a pawn in their game. You need to figure out what you have to deal with and they're supposed to be grownups and deal with what they have to deal with. What is happening is their fault, not yours. Don't take on added burdens because you have enough on your own. They seem to be working on adding their burden to you.

No kidding parents might have to change jobs for their kids. I suspect your dad took that job for you, so what's the difference?
 
I hope your parents can get through this process without turning it into a toxic experience.. It sounds like if you want to grow up faster then go with your Dad.. But i guess it really all depends on where your at in regards to maturity.. Divorce hits kids hard But it is not the end of the world.. If i where you i would wait and see how things pan out.. Who knows maybe the process will be amicable and relatively smooth.. There may be a few hard episodes along the way.. I am hoping for you James.. Keep loving your parents as best as you can.. May God be with you always..


All Praise The Ancient of Days
 
I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, James! However, if you are a follower of Jesus He will work all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Now, this doesn't mean that life will be "good" in human terms (happy, successful, stress-free), it means that Christ will do WHATEVER it takes to draw you always closer to Himself.

Have you prayed about the decision? I'd encourage prayer and reading the scriptures. The truth is, there isn't an option that is going to be completely rosy for you, but with Christ's guidance you can make a choice that will be "good" from Christ's perspective. God bless you!
 
Brother James, I pray God helps you through your rough circumstances. You're being put under a lot of pressure and it's easy to turn away from God (believe me I've done it before) and say what's the point in all this? But just remember to pray and give your burdens over to God. He's a friend that will never leave you. Don't let this divorce or your illness define you....remember God created you and knows where you are in life....it's very hard sometimes, especially when we pray for God to resolve situations for years and nothing happens....it can be disheartening...

All I can say is hold onto your faith in Christ as it may be tested in ways you may never imagine...

Try reading some psalms to comfort yourself such as 91, 27 etc Remind yourself of any verse that speaks to you, to help you get through the day when satan brings your problems to mind.....the Word of God is a sword remember to use it....

With regards to living with your parents? IDK what to say but to pray about it and maybe take a notepad and compare pros/cons of living with each....just a suggestion.....

Stay strong my friend, if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.....God Bless!
 
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