Cutting

[Jemmie]

Okay so i know i shouldn't do it and its not like my life is bad or anything, but sometimes i find myself doing it. I started maybe a year ago and I can't even figure out why. I hadn't done it in a while until last week when i had a sudden urge to do it. I ignored it until a couple of days ago when my parents were arguing. (it seems anymore they're tiptoeing around each other until they just blow up at each other. Shouldn't parents have an obligation to get along? To work out differences diplomaticly?) Anyway, i cut myself on my arm and then i felt better and more like i can face anything. Then the next day my mom was complaining to me about my dad (i'm homeschooled so its not like i can get away) and i was mad at both of them so i did it again. I felt a little better, but not as better as the first time. Now i wear my long fingerless gloves all the time to cover it so no one will see and ask what happened. I don't want it to spiral into an addiction or anything, but i can already feel myself heading in that direction. I don't know why, but i just like the sight of blood. And voices in my head are arguing that what I'm doing isn't that bad.

 

[ASK]

"and i was mad at both of them so i did it again"
Most of the time it is anger that causes the urge to cut. Try doing something less permanent, like squeezing a pillow as hard as you can until your muscles are exhausted.

Start surrounding yourself with happier things. Music, television shows, friends.
And pray.

 

[NMsmile]

Jemmie I can tell you know that God is speaking to your heart. I also want you to know that if you tell God your concerns he will help you to cope with your parents fighting. He will help you develop healthy ways of dealing with stress. Jemmie ask God to help you and he will. I will pray for you.

 

[Cabbage]

First of all, being a teenager is the hardest thing EVER right now. There are so many temptations and the world is spiraling downhill fast. The divorce rates are increasing, crime is increasing and more and more sin comes into the world everyday, BUT there is an upside to all of this. If you are a Christian( I am not judging you, I just don't know you) God comes back to save His people in the end. One day we will go to Heaven to be with Him. We will be in His eternal presence. God selected you for His plan. In Jeremiah 29:11 God says For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God wants you to have a bright future and He doesn't want you to be in pain or in agony due to stress. Stress is not supposed to be normal. We are supposed to keep Jesus on our mind all the time, although with all the distractions, it is easy to get turned around. In Ephesians 2:10 it says For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Now think about this. I am not trying to scare you, I am just giving you the reality. What if something went wrong when you cut yourself and you died....what if God planned for you to be a great evangelist? You would miss the opportunity to witness to them. Don't do this to yourself or the one's around you. Seek help. It is hard, but you can do it. I coached one of my friends through something very similar. I know your family would much rather you tell and seek help than find you dead somewhere. Again, I am not trying to scare you, just reality. Seek Gods help and He will get you through this. It may not be in the way you want, but you will come out on the other side, hopefully with a good testimony that honors Him! Love and message me if you have questions or want to talk

 

[Dubbaz]

I have pretty big anger issues myself, but you should find ways of chanelling it. For me its music. Throw yourself at something 100% and you lose sight of things that arent important.

 

[Warrior44]

My advice-talk to your parents about how you feel. they care for you and want whats best for you. Chances are they dont realize a lot of the stress you seem to be under. If you let them know how you feel about their arguments they might realize that it may not be the best idea to bring you into their arguments and may decide to stop the arguing altogether. I mean, who knows, maybe you can help them as well. But remember, more important than anything else is talking to your heavenly Father. Without Him nothing is possible.

 

[Jemmie]

Thanks for the advice everyone. A lot of you said you thought I was doing it out of anger and now i've thought about it i think you're right. The last few days have been okay so i'm feeling much better and consequently haven't cut myself. Cabbage mentioned that cutting is dangerous and (in my head i know that) but i'll keep that in mind next time i'm tempted. Another thing i like to do when i'm mad is put on a LOT on eyeliiner (its a girl thing lol) so i'll try doing that next time i'm upset, as well as turning to God and the Bible (I should do that more i know and will try). Thanks everyone, your support helps a lot!

 

[Cabbage]

Beginning to read the Bible again is very hard. It is a hard routine to get into, but remember as you are reading, that the things in the Bible are not stories, they are reality. They really happened. I am glad you are feeling better. Take this resting period to sort out your anger and learn how to direct it and make a plan of action! You can even post on here when you get an urge so we can encourage you. Sometimes it helps to have accountability partners. You can message me anytime!

 

[AmandaSpellings]

In middle school I was in a horrible situation and cut myself, too. Recently I started but managed to stop before it became a habit, which would have most likely led me to addiction. Sometimes it really does feel like the only way you can get relief from problems and that whatever emotion is so powerful that there's no way to release it. It's like an over-filled smoothie. I wasn't in quite the same situation because I did it more out of sadness and helplessness than anger. But even so, what I realized I needed was a way of relief (as these lovely people before me said). I couldn't get it out through punching a pillow or writing and crying did nothing. But I got a therapist and I talked out my problems (I never told her I cut myself, because since the real issue wasn't that, it was what caused me to cut myself) and that did sooo much for me. Anyone you can talk to on a regular basis about what's bothering you will probably do wonders for that anger that needs to deflate.

Hope I was helpful. Good luck!

 

[Pinemeadowsgeorge]

Is there any question that cutting is bad?
No matter what reason YOU do so, consider what effect you are having on say your parents
You take up arms against yourself, violence is not a far cry from murder.
My aunt cuts herself. everyone is afraid to tell her that she does any wrong at all because we are all afraid she will kill herself if she is at all challenged.
I also have had experience in self mutilation, though i preferred burns to cuts... its all the same
i did it because of a sense of powerlessness, but the real thing i was powerless over was the imagined need to hurt myself
what would God do if he saw you cutting yourself? I think he would suffer with you. he would suffer silently though and not say anything because God respects all choices that humans will to make because he is humble to infinity
What would Satan do? I think he would silently chuckle at your foolishness, then tell you you were doing good things because he DELIGHTS in seeing us hurt. he would encourage you in any way he could that you continue your campaign of self deprecation, at least thats what he did in my case, the same being said about my case for what God did.

 

[godovermoney]

i prayed for u friend

 

[tato_cmss]

Jemmie, change the knife for the Bible and find peace in God He will help you to figure things without hurting yourself God bless you

 

[TDWP22]

emo??? wth...u would ve gone off on both of them for their stupidity...but true either read bible, listen to music (specially positive bands like KsE AILD, ATR, BBABH)

 

[karine___]

i'm not sure but it may be false guilt ur feeling, sometimes parents/family even without noticing transmit to children that what they are going through is their fault somehow and the child doesn't know how to take it.
next time u feel an urge to do that again remember that u have a perfect Father who loves u like no one ever will , who gave His only Son to die for u (as if u were the only person in the world so precious u are to Him!) to give u the right to become His child and talk to Him , He's concerned about every detail of our lives. He will enable u to forgive anything and go through life depending on His perfect love for u

 

[Ugly]

People cut themselves because it releases endorphines in the brain, causing a 'happy rush'. So when you are upset & feel unsure how to cope, you cut to release that happy rush & it makes your problems seem less intense. It is a coping mechanism, albeit a bad one. I suggest looking into learning to face your problems head on & healthier ways to cope. Perhaps a good place to start is sit down with each parent individually & express to each how their behavior is upsetting to you. Perhaps even ask them to go to counseling, or to get counseling through a pastor. Let them know it is a painful way for you to live & it makes you angry when they argue. See if you can't get into some professional counseling yourself that can teach you how to cope better with your problems. I hope this helps.