L
Levichevett
Guest
That moment before the whole world falls apart when you're aware of the disaster about to strike but there's something just about sitting there right that second waiting for it to happen that's so soothing. Like somewhere in the back of your mind you see the beauty in disguise behind all the pain and lies is someone with a heart who would care if they knew how but thinks it's too late to learn it now. Although your smart enough to fear what's to come your still not prepared to give up yet because giving up would be curse on everything you want to become and your happiness won't even have meaning without it. Keep trying. keep pushing forward into the everlasting turmoil of work and lost energy as the cycles of depression and faith and love repeat til you finally have another smoke and a razor sharp scrape at your skin. Then it's back to the beginning. Aware of the pain about to come, knowing it'll pass, but knowing also that you'll go back to it again. The kind of torment that sets you free and makes you feel alive when all signs around you point to death - it's beautiful really. Something so sinister and evil that smirks as you fall down but somehow has a soft touch through its eyes that care so deeply and kindly that would risk all the traps it set for you to save you if it could. I feel my pain every single day and a long time ago i must have gone crazy because now when I see the broken pieces of me I find something pure to hold on to. What's love if not a beautiful pain?