Beautiful Pain

  • Thread starter Thread starter Levichevett
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Levichevett

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That moment before the whole world falls apart when you're aware of the disaster about to strike but there's something just about sitting there right that second waiting for it to happen that's so soothing. Like somewhere in the back of your mind you see the beauty in disguise behind all the pain and lies is someone with a heart who would care if they knew how but thinks it's too late to learn it now. Although your smart enough to fear what's to come your still not prepared to give up yet because giving up would be curse on everything you want to become and your happiness won't even have meaning without it. Keep trying. keep pushing forward into the everlasting turmoil of work and lost energy as the cycles of depression and faith and love repeat til you finally have another smoke and a razor sharp scrape at your skin. Then it's back to the beginning. Aware of the pain about to come, knowing it'll pass, but knowing also that you'll go back to it again. The kind of torment that sets you free and makes you feel alive when all signs around you point to death - it's beautiful really. Something so sinister and evil that smirks as you fall down but somehow has a soft touch through its eyes that care so deeply and kindly that would risk all the traps it set for you to save you if it could. I feel my pain every single day and a long time ago i must have gone crazy because now when I see the broken pieces of me I find something pure to hold on to. What's love if not a beautiful pain?
 
because its pain. its depression. its not a happy thing. when youre going through it everything is so miserable around you but you can find something to hold on to to stop you from falling like inside you want to survive it.
 
Levichevett said:
That moment before the whole world falls apart when you're aware of the disaster about to strike but there's something just about sitting there right that second waiting for it to happen that's so soothing. Like somewhere in the back of your mind you see the beauty in disguise behind all the pain and lies is someone with a heart who would care if they knew how but thinks it's too late to learn it now. Although your smart enough to fear what's to come your still not prepared to give up yet because giving up would be curse on everything you want to become and your happiness won't even have meaning without it. Keep trying. keep pushing forward into the everlasting turmoil of work and lost energy as the cycles of depression and faith and love repeat til you finally have another smoke and a razor sharp scrape at your skin. Then it's back to the beginning. Aware of the pain about to come, knowing it'll pass, but knowing also that you'll go back to it again. The kind of torment that sets you free and makes you feel alive when all signs around you point to death - it's beautiful really. Something so sinister and evil that smirks as you fall down but somehow has a soft touch through its eyes that care so deeply and kindly that would risk all the traps it set for you to save you if it could. I feel my pain every single day and a long time ago i must have gone crazy because now when I see the broken pieces of me I find something pure to hold on to. What's love if not a beautiful pain?
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One thing to consider when we are experiencing pain is "How can this be a window for me into Jesus?"

Jesus spoke the truth in love knowing that there were some people who were going to not listen...some who would even use his words to work evil against him. He befriended Judas knowing that Judas would betray him. He loved Peter, knowing that Peter would deny him. He loved and had compassion for Thomas, even though Thomas doubted that he was the Risen Lord. There is nothing we experience that Jesus himself didn't also walk through.

He knew what it was like to be an outlier. He knew what it was like to be fawned over and praised one moment and then heard, "Crucify him!" the next. That whole push/pull of life...he gets it.

So, if this is what you're experiencing, you're in HIS company in this experience. Your suffering is a link to the life of Jesus.

This is why my favorite scripture is Phil 3:10-12 (RSV)

that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that if possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead

Consider what you're experiencing an opportunity to "share in his sufferings" so that you may be more like Him.
 
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