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  1. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I'm sorry to say this, but I believe whoever you're describing ran away from you because you were not willing to love her as the Bible instructs you to. I pray you heal from whatever caused you to not be able to open up to someone else. To answer your question, look up avoidant attachment style.
  2. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I wish I can give you two hearts. But all the things you listed about the woman you met are the exact same things my friend reports concerning this guy. She is very vocal and tells him how much she is hurting, but he hasn't changed a thing. He does the bare minimum to keep her around. I told her...
  3. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    Check out avoidant attachment style. It's the clinical term for it.
  4. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation? Have you sought the help of a therapist? If not, seek out a Christian therapist who specializes in attachment styles.
  5. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I totally agree with you and suggested therapy. I sent her an article and she shared it with him. He recognized himself in that article and acknowledged that he needs help. I told her to stay out it and let him seek the help on his own. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she has...
  6. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I believe she is still in it because he's a decent guy and she is somewhat desperate.
  7. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    Hi Dear, Yes, he does have a great connection with his friends and family, but puts a wall up when it comes to romantic relationships. He hasn't been in relationships that lasted more than eight to ten months, as all the girls get fed up and leave. He's not using it as a crutch, as he has no...
  8. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I beg to differ. I'm an introvert, but very expressive when it comes to opening up and making emotional connections. I also know several introverts and empath who are able to open up to others emotionally. Read on avoidant attachment style. Perhaps this is what your accusers were referring to...
  9. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    Thank you for your reply dear. He is not stating that he doesn't want to commit. He's not asking her to sleep with him. He's not seeing anyone else. In fact, he wants to be married and have children. However, he has not made any concrete plans. He has an avoidant attachment style and has zero...
  10. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    Great ideas! I will make sure she reads your answer. He seems interested, wants to be married and have a family. However, due to his avoidant attachment style, he is unable to get there. Neither she nor he knows about attachment style. But I've spoken to her at length about it and suggested...
  11. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I wouldn't call it a fad. It's clinically termed "avoidant attachment style." I love your last statement ;)
  12. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    Gamble is the right word. I'm praying and believing the Lord will change him. I would like to see my friend in a healthy relationship.
  13. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    100% right! I will share this post with her. I think she needs to hear it from someone other than me.
  14. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I concur. I'm so glad you gave your life to Christ. Blessings!
  15. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I agree with you that we don't have the right to ask someone to change. However, we have the right to teach others how to treat us. She has kindly helped him to understand what it feels like being with him, but there's just no desire to do things differently on his part. I do agree that being a...
  16. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I concur! I would have advised her to keep trying if he was actively working on himself. But his lack of interest, should be a warning to her.
  17. OllieYakob

    Can a Christian be Emotionally Unavailable?

    I appreciate your perspective. It definitely is harder for some to open up. In my opinion, it's also affecting his ability to relate to God. His relationship with her mirrors his relationship with God. But who am I to comment on it? I'm praying for him and her.
  18. OllieYakob

    Looking for a friend to talk to.

    I'm praying for you, brother. I'm so glad to hear that you've taken the initiative to seek help. Blessings to you!
  19. OllieYakob

    31 and still single/ unmarried

    Lord willing :)
  20. OllieYakob

    31 and still single/ unmarried

    I think we all know this in theory, but our mind tricks us. As for me, I’m content with waiting. I often tell myself that God is preparing me for the right person and vice versa. Thank you for your testimony. I pray that you have healed from the pain you experienced in the past. Blessings to you.