New here; formerly gay male

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LearningAndSojourning

New member
Jan 4, 2026
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Hi, I hope this doesn't make anyone feel awkward lol, but I'm looking for those like me, newly committed to finding their help mate of the opposite sex after having been with the same sex, but I'm of course open to connecting with anyone wanting to engage convo. I'm grateful for some bro's in Jesus who never judged me when I had backslidden and who personally know me and talk it out with me to this day, but they can only relate so much to my journey. They've been true brothers and always loved me in my confusion at the time, and so I don't by any means say that to detract from their positive influence in my walk.

In short, I had the proverbial Pandora's box opened at a young age by an older guy friend, and as I got into my teens and twenties, had pursued dating women previously, but allowed that old seed to take root from childhood. It was a grueling, up and down, painful 8 years. I felt I had failed the Lord so much to the point that I felt too unworthy and too weak to try to figure it out because the feelings felt so real. But, in my weakness, Jesus does what He does best and broke in in His love. And now, I have this joyful expectation that the right gal will come along, and I'm so thankful for His mercy. Yes, the lust tries to come at times, but I know how unfulfilling it is and I've since gained this pure understanding of the beauty of the real versus the counterfeit, and am never looking back, except to perhaps try to witness in love to former acquaintances when/if the time comes.

So, if anyone relates, or doesn't but feels like replying, I'm just exercising transparency to share my story and new journey and it's nice to meet you, per se 😁 :).
 
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LearningAndSojourning said:
Hi, I hope this doesn't make anyone feel awkward lol, but I'm looking for those like me, newly committed to finding their help mate of the opposite sex after having been with the same sex, but I'm of course open to connecting with anyone wanting to engage convo. I'm grateful for some bro's in Jesus who never judged me when I had backslidden and who personally know me and talk it out with me to this day, but they can only relate so much to my journey. They've been true brothers and always loved me in my confusion at the time, and so I don't by any means say that to detract from their positive influence in my walk.

In short, I had the proverbial Pandora's box opened at a young age by an older guy friend, and as I got into my teens and twenties, had pursued dating women previously, but allowed that old seed to take root from childhood. It was a grueling, up and down, painful 8 years. I felt I had failed the Lord so much to the point that I felt too unworthy and too weak to try to figure it out because the feelings felt so real. But, in my weakness, Jesus does what He does best and broke in in His love. And now, I have this joyful expectation that the right gal will come along, and I'm so thankful for His mercy. Yes, the lust tries to come at times, but I know how unfulfilling it is and I've since gained this pure understanding of the beauty of the real versus the counterfeit, and am never looking back, except to perhaps try to witness in love to former acquaintances when/if the time comes.

So, if anyone relates, or doesn't but feels like replying, I'm just exercising transparency to share my story and new journey and it's nice to meet you, per se 😁 :).
Click to expand...
Hello and welcome ❤️ .
 
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Welcome, and we're happy to be a community to support you. I can't personally identify with what you're going through, but if you haven't seen this documentary I think you would find it super encouraging and relateable.


Here's another one that is on topic and I found informative.
 
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LearningAndSojourning said:
Hi, I hope this doesn't make anyone feel awkward lol, but I'm looking for those like me, newly committed to finding their help mate of the opposite sex after having been with the same sex, but I'm of course open to connecting with anyone wanting to engage convo. I'm grateful for some bro's in Jesus who never judged me when I had backslidden and who personally know me and talk it out with me to this day, but they can only relate so much to my journey. They've been true brothers and always loved me in my confusion at the time, and so I don't by any means say that to detract from their positive influence in my walk.

In short, I had the proverbial Pandora's box opened at a young age by an older guy friend, and as I got into my teens and twenties, had pursued dating women previously, but allowed that old seed to take root from childhood. It was a grueling, up and down, painful 8 years. I felt I had failed the Lord so much to the point that I felt too unworthy and too weak to try to figure it out because the feelings felt so real. But, in my weakness, Jesus does what He does best and broke in in His love. And now, I have this joyful expectation that the right gal will come along, and I'm so thankful for His mercy. Yes, the lust tries to come at times, but I know how unfulfilling it is and I've since gained this pure understanding of the beauty of the real versus the counterfeit, and am never looking back, except to perhaps try to witness in love to former acquaintances when/if the time comes.

So, if anyone relates, or doesn't but feels like replying, I'm just exercising transparency to share my story and new journey and it's nice to meet you, per se 😁 :).
Click to expand...

Praise God for your testimony and thank you for sharing with us!

Please do not feel you are alone. :) Some here are going through similar struggles, and even those who don't have your particular struggle still have their own challenges that allow then to relate to you.

Here in Singles, we talk a lot about how hard it is to keep walking the path God has for us, while try to sidestep temptations along the way. But we try to lift each other up and just keep on moving forward. :)

Welcome to the forum and feel free to join right in on any threads you find interesting!
 
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cinder said:
Welcome, and we're happy to be a community to support you. I can't personally identify with what you're going through, but if you haven't seen this documentary I think you would find it super encouraging and relateable.


Here's another one that is on topic and I found informative.
Click to expand...
Thank you 🙏💙 wow. I had actually reached out to him years ago before I finally had my ultimate breakthrough, and he was kind enough to reply to encourage me and say he was praying. At that time, I don't think the documentary was out. This really does encourage me because I too play piano (though I can't carry a tune voice wise lol). Ty 🙏
 
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seoulsearch said:
Praise God for your testimony and thank you for sharing with us!

Please do not feel you are alone. :) Some here are going through similar struggles, and even those who don't have your particular struggle still have their own challenges that allow then to relate to you.

Here in Singles, we talk a lot about how hard it is to keep walking the path God has for us, while try to sidestep temptations along the way. But we try to lift each other up and just keep on moving forward. :)

Welcome to the forum and feel free to join right in on any threads you find interesting!
Click to expand...
Thank you, really. I'm feeling the genuine love/agape. It means more than words 💙🥲
 
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LearningAndSojourning said:
Hi, I hope this doesn't make anyone feel awkward lol, but I'm looking for those like me, newly committed to finding their help mate of the opposite sex after having been with the same sex, but I'm of course open to connecting with anyone wanting to engage convo. I'm grateful for some bro's in Jesus who never judged me when I had backslidden and who personally know me and talk it out with me to this day, but they can only relate so much to my journey. They've been true brothers and always loved me in my confusion at the time, and so I don't by any means say that to detract from their positive influence in my walk.

In short, I had the proverbial Pandora's box opened at a young age by an older guy friend, and as I got into my teens and twenties, had pursued dating women previously, but allowed that old seed to take root from childhood. It was a grueling, up and down, painful 8 years. I felt I had failed the Lord so much to the point that I felt too unworthy and too weak to try to figure it out because the feelings felt so real. But, in my weakness, Jesus does what He does best and broke in in His love. And now, I have this joyful expectation that the right gal will come along, and I'm so thankful for His mercy. Yes, the lust tries to come at times, but I know how unfulfilling it is and I've since gained this pure understanding of the beauty of the real versus the counterfeit, and am never looking back, except to perhaps try to witness in love to former acquaintances when/if the time comes.

So, if anyone relates, or doesn't but feels like replying, I'm just exercising transparency to share my story and new journey and it's nice to meet you, per se 😁 :).
Click to expand...
Hi Learning
We are all learning !
Welcome to the forum.
I'm sure many here that do not even respond to the above will be praying for you.
I cannot relate to your story....not having had that experiece and we only truly know what we've experienced.

But I know that the gay lifestyle is harmful for more than one reason and I'm happy to hear that you've come to know this and how grateful you are to God.

But it is always because we are open to Him and to allow Him into our lives.

God bless you.
 
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mm the guy that violated you is he still around or what. He has to deal with his transgressions that have affected your personal life. I would be devastated if someone did that to me.

Also people in a position of trust, like teachers, older siblings etc don't realise how their 'affection' or lust can harm their victim. Was this older guy REALLY a friend, or was he just grooming you? When you see it from that perspective, that's sexual abuse.

It's ok to talk about it here. Lots of us are praying for you.
 
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