How Far Are You Willing to Move for Love?

engblom said:

This is a question many of us may eventually have to face. Younger people are often more willing to move far away, but the older you get, the harder it becomes. By middle age you usually have a stable job, children, maybe grandchildren, and close friends.
Personally, I would prefer to stay within my own country for many of the reasons mentioned above. Plus, it feels reassuring to live in a country with free healthcare if you need ongoing medical care.

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I think about this all the time as I get older, too.

People talk about how hard it is to make friends as we get older -- dating is even more difficult, and a whole other entity in and of itself!

When I was younger, I probably could have gone most anywhere and picked up a couple of jobs or whatever was necessary in those locations. But things have definitely changed (that tends to happen when a few decades go by, huh?)

You mentioned being able to take advantage of free healthcare in other countries -- I was wondering, do you know what the requirements are, and which countries do this?

Right now I'm in some financial chats with a lot of men wanting to move to less expensive (and usually Asian) countries. I know one young guy who wants to move to a country in Latin America, and he is learning Spanish in preparation.

But even if a country offers free healthcare, what are the stipulations? Is it like social security in America, where you have to have put in a certain amount of time working for the system over a lifetime? Do you have to become a citizen? (Which can be a bear of a process, as I've known a few people who have changed citizenships.) And if I'm understanding correctly, for some, switching citizenships might even require time served in that country's military (but I could be wrong, and I'm not sure what the age/health restrictions would be.)

I can't imagine any country that would say, "Hey, come on over and we'll give you lifetime free healthcare, no strings attached," but I could be wrong.

And if I am, I'm hoping people will mention the countries that do so.

If there are any countries out there wealthy enough to pay for the lifetime healthcare needs of complete strangers from foreign countries, I would definitely be interested in researching them.

Great thread topic @engblom!

engblom said:

Here in the Nordic countries (Finland, Sweden etc.) you basically get free healthcare with a residence permit. It is not fully free, but very affordable, usually just a few tens of euros per visit.

You get the permit by finding a job here or marrying someone who lives here. Citizenship is not required.

I agree moving is tough after 40. Still, I might have to consider it someday. All women in my church are married. I know no single Christians near my age, and no single person in their 40s has ever joined our church. Even if a visitor appeared, a short visit is unlikely to lead to exchanging contacts or mutual feelings. This is not about being picky or not good enough. There simply are no singles in these circles.

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Very interesting, thank you for the information! I've also known of some people who ran into problems trying to be able to access their bank accounts when moving to a foreign country, or being limited to a certain amount, or moving it to a foreign bank -- only to find themselves locked out of it. So many things to consider...

I truly wish you all the best in your search.

Even here in a place as big as the USA, I constantly hear people say, "There are no singles (near my age, situation, etc.) in my area."

Unfortunately, it seems to be a worldwide problem, and I do wonder what God is going to do to bring couples together in the future.

I've known several international couples, and it may be different from the ones I've known, but managing two different cultures and families on two different continents (along with visa's, all the fees, travel to each location, caring for each other's family, etc.) has definitely not be easy -- and I'm wondering how many people, and their marriages, can survive the process.

engblom said:

This is a question many of us may eventually have to face. Younger people are often more willing to move far away, but the older you get, the harder it becomes. By middle age you usually have a stable job, children, maybe grandchildren, and close friends.

Personally, I would prefer to stay within my own country for many of the reasons mentioned above. Plus, it feels reassuring to live in a country with free healthcare if you need ongoing medical care.

Click to expand...

i don't know what country you live in but i was talking to a canadian back in the 90's & he said, contrary to popular belief, that healthcare is not free. canadian taxpayers pay into the universal healthcare system thru income & provincial taxes. & they pay out of pocket or by private insurance for cases of prescriptions, vision & dental. its a collective contribution by everyone.

I will move across town, but that's it. Unless they live right next to an airport. Then I might make an exception.

Even moving to a another region would feel too much at some point.. To a another country, I hope not.

And even for regions in here, healthcare varies, I know in some regions I cannot get free sensors, or that is what I have heard. It depends on the healtcare region, they have diffenrent policies or what they prioritise.

engblom said:

This is a question many of us may eventually have to face. Younger people are often more willing to move far away, but the older you get, the harder it becomes. By middle age you usually have a stable job, children, maybe grandchildren, and close friends.

Personally, I would prefer to stay within my own country for many of the reasons mentioned above. Plus, it feels reassuring to live in a country with free healthcare if you need ongoing medical care.

Click to expand...

engblom said:

Here in the Nordic countries (Finland, Sweden etc.) you basically get free healthcare with a residence permit. It is not fully free, but very affordable, usually just a few tens of euros per visit.

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It is not free heathcare, if you have to pay around 50€ ($58), for a one (doctor) visit (in this region), and you propably won't get to the speacialist straight away, you need to visit regular doctor, that sends you to the specialist (hopefully and hopefully to the right specialist at first try) and you have to pay for both. So sometimes it comes cheaper to go to the private clinic as you can pick a doctor that specialices in the area you need. They also can send you you to the public healthcare to continue your care in some cases which then comes cheaper than continuing in private section.

And I don't know about your region, but in here there mostly are not fully doctors in public healthcare, or how to say it, they still don't know all, they are partially students, trainees or what you call 'em. And there is no "real" (or ready, matured, seasoned or something like that..) doctor on stand by, only via phone.
When my mum went to a public hospital and there were this trainee, that said to my mum after an exmination, 'that is a complete mystery to me' and left. My mum thought he was going to get a "seasoned" doctor to come in and help him, but no, that was end of her visit. (and it is not his fault not knowing all, but in the olden days there used to be back up doctor to help them in the other room that they could go and get.. now they just have a phone to call someone. Which is cruel to them too. Think about being in a job you don't know all yet, and don't have immediate back up, phone is not enough in that case..)

Karlon said:

i don't know what country you live in but i was talking to a canadian back in the 90's & he said, contrary to popular belief, that healthcare is not free. canadian taxpayers pay into the universal healthcare system thru income & provincial taxes. & they pay out of pocket or by private insurance for cases of prescriptions, vision & dental. its a collective contribution by everyone.

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Yeah, definately not free, but not a dead sentence, if you have to think to buy meds of pay the rent or to get some food.
Here prescriptions are mostly covered by the healthcare, you pay a small price when you go to a pharmacy to get you 3 months of meds. Or little larger amount, it depends on the medication, mine are covered quite nicely, but not all meds are covered as much. For me I pay around 4,5€ ($5,22) per three months of insulin I need, If I had two types of insulins it would be double the amount.

There also is a limit how much you pay on public healthcare, after that, some of the hospital visits or healthcare are free, not all.. And I have to idea which ones those are as I have never hit that limit. Limit is about 800€ ($928) a year I think, and I guess (?) it depends on the healtcare regions too and what bills will fill that limit. Also there is different limit to the meds, if you go over about $734 then you pay $2,9 per pharmacy visit to get your one type of medication.






But back to the topic, it is harder to leave even the area you live in, as at this age you have a job and a house, and everyone lives close by. And currently I can't even, I want to be able to help my mum out, so hence I live here in this town.. And I quite like this town, and region. There are few regions I wish not to move into in Finland..
Also, marriage is hard within the same country because there might be regional differencies, not so huge in here in Finland of course, but also differencies in families, and their way of living varies, but that is part of the marriage, compromise.. So yet alone international marriage, moving to a another country, culture, visiting and all, it is possible but .. yeah not preferred, at least to me. I want to stay in this country.
Moving somewhere would mean to find a new job, and friends, which surely is a hard thing at this age, also being a introvert does not help a bit in this case ..or in the other to begin with..

I want to stay put because I have grandchildren growing up here. In this town of less than 15,000, there are not many men to choose from. The single men in my age group had 6-7 decades to make bad decisions (and we all know it doesn't take nearly that many years to ruin your life), and the widowed ones had 5 or more decades to enjoy their wives' southern meals, biscuits, sweet tea, and desserts, before their wives beat them to the cemetery. I'm thankful I have sports and extra-curricular events to attend in support of the grandchildren and many friends who are invalids to visit. I'm always cheered on by those of any age who are choosing to run the race, fight the good fight, and choose life over death. I'm at the age where I see the fruits of life choices more clearly than when I was younger.

engblom said:

This is a question many of us may eventually have to face. Younger people are often more willing to move far away, but the older you get, the harder it becomes. By middle age you usually have a stable job, children, maybe grandchildren, and close friends.

Personally, I would prefer to stay within my own country for many of the reasons mentioned above. Plus, it feels reassuring to live in a country with free healthcare if you need ongoing medical care.

Click to expand...

As a young adult even I would have a hard time moving far away but somehow it would be easier to adjust because I’m still young I can jump around different Jobs and build a life before stepping into marriage. But the only thing that will hold me back is my parents. I would rather stick around in their old age than fly off to a far away country and try to build my life again from scratch. I also don’t want to go back to my country for uncountable reasons.

And very true with the making friends topic when we get older I just can’t seem to find a single person I connect with. And then there was a time in school everyone would be bffs in seconds. Also I do face same issues it’s either no single guy around my age or even a few years older and if I do meet anyone they are not of same faith.

engblom said:

This is a question many of us may eventually have to face. Younger people are often more willing to move far away, but the older you get, the harder it becomes. By middle age you usually have a stable job, children, maybe grandchildren, and close friends.

Personally, I would prefer to stay within my own country for many of the reasons mentioned above. Plus, it feels reassuring to live in a country with free healthcare if you need ongoing medical care.

Click to expand...

Hey Englom
insomnia won't let me sleep; so I will just reply.
I know it's hard to move from middle age. But I keep saying this to us. If you fall in love, there is nothing you will not be able to do for your love one.
of course like adults you both will go for pros and cons before taking steps but what is sure is you will be more than willing to move.

So dear sister don't worry about moving now. If you find love the rest will come naturally. Especially if it's ordained by God.

I now live in the far north of Canada far beyond the tree line. It's the most beautiful little community you can imagine. However, there are many many problems with the north and the indigenous communities. And yet I really like teaching here for many reasons, but the reality is, I would like to meet a Christian woman who would be willing to come up and snuggle in the cold with me. The walks to the Fjord are really beautiful, even if they are cold and the hills around are also really beautiful. Evenings are quiet and it's a healthy lifestyle because you can spend all your time cooking and reading and being indoors or you can go out on a snowmobile and zoom over the frozen ocean. If you are 40 years old to 55ish and the Lord is calling you for an adventure and a mission of love to a broken people then a big move would make sense. Where can I find such a woman?

Btw ...there are many job possibilities too if you want.

Ps. I would move anywhere on the globe if I knew the Lord was leading me in love to a woman who wanted to be connected to me in love; it's determination, it's willpower, it's the guiding of the Holy Spirit, it's your will united with the Lord's will, and the will of your partner.....
.......and I'm a bit older

Noorr said:

As a young adult even I would have a hard time moving far away but somehow it would be easier to adjust because I’m still young I can jump around different Jobs and build a life before stepping into marriage. But the only thing that will hold me back is my parents. I would rather stick around in their old age than fly off to a far away country and try to build my life again from scratch. I also don’t want to go back to my country for uncountable reasons.

And very true with the making friends topic when we get older I just can’t seem to find a single person I connect with. And then there was a time in school everyone would be bffs in seconds. Also I do face same issues it’s either no single guy around my age or even a few years older and if I do meet anyone they are not of same faith.

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Howdy and welcome to the forum.

engblom said:

This is a question many of us may eventually have to face. Younger people are often more willing to move far away, but the older you get, the harder it becomes. By middle age you usually have a stable job, children, maybe grandchildren, and close friends.

Personally, I would prefer to stay within my own country for many of the reasons mentioned above. Plus, it feels reassuring to live in a country with free healthcare if you need ongoing medical care.

Click to expand...

No idea. I've never been "in love" before so I have no data from which to draw a conclusion. If I ever find the lady for me I will let you know how far away I moved for her.

But I am reminded from of a song from Watermark. "Welcome to Delaware." It was a song about uprooting and relocation for ministry, not for romance, but the concept is the same.

Mordy said:

I now live in the far north of Canada far beyond the tree line. It's the most beautiful little community you can imagine. However, there are many many problems with the north and the indigenous communities. And yet I really like teaching here for many reasons, but the reality is, I would like to meet a Christian woman who would be willing to come up and snuggle in the cold with me. The walks to the Fjord are really beautiful, even if they are cold and the hills around are also really beautiful. Evenings are quiet and it's a healthy lifestyle because you can spend all your time cooking and reading and being indoors or you can go out on a snowmobile and zoom over the frozen ocean. If you are 40 years old to 55ish and the Lord is calling you for an adventure and a mission of love to a broken people then a big move would make sense. Where can I find such a woman?

Btw ...there are many job possibilities too if you want.

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Hello Mordy your post sounds like Publicity of you place and your life to Englom. Where she at. Hey they exist and you will find. Just keep seeking.

Lynx said:

No idea. I've never been "in love" before so I have no data from which to draw a conclusion. If I ever find the lady for me I will let you know how far away I moved for her.

But I am reminded from of a song from Watermark. "Welcome to Delaware." It was a song about uprooting and relocation for ministry, not for romance, but the concept is the same.

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My brother, Love is such a sweet thing.

Wow so many single people here from around the globe! .

Im single too, but not really out looking.

I'm a firm believer in old fashioned dating. You congregate naturally and If it's gonna happen it will. Churches near me seem to be dry and dusty too (or already taken) when it comes to romance. But yeh, I'm the adventurous type (and so is my family) and would move up a tree if I met the right person.

Treehouses and hobit homes have always been appealing to me but it does get tricky to move around when you're older I would eventually need a hoist to get me up …. Or even out

Here in the UK you can move here and the NHS healthcare is free (but basic) as long as you have immigration/settled status. It's no where near as good as it used to be. Private healthcare is taking over for more wealthy individuals nowadays. I try to stay as healthy as I can so I don't have to wait 16000 years for minor surgery. Years ago we had many young people from poorer countries queuing up to marry spinsters for a chance to emigrate here. But the weather is like a rollercoaster, so wear a raincoat and bikini and a woolly scarf....all at once

It's also a mixed bag of cultures nowadays. Where I live we have quite a lot of Indian diaspora and the curries are, shall I say completely delicious.

I guess if love is that much of a force like like they say in the arts then let anyone stop us from even going as far out as mars

Spiritwalker said:

But yeh, I'm the adventurous type (and so is my family) and would move up a tree if I met the right person.

Treehouses and hobit homes have always been appealing to me but it does get tricky to move around when you're older I would eventually need a hoist to get me up …. Or even out

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Howdy and welcome to the forum.

You know what else you might occasionally find taking a nap in a tree? Your friendly neighborhood lynx. =^.^=

Spiritwalker said:

Treehouses and hobit homes have always been appealing to me but it does get tricky to move around when you're older I would eventually need a hoist to get me up …. Or even out

Here in the UK you can move here and the NHS healthcare is free (but basic) as long as you have immigration/settled status. It's no where near as good as it used to be. Private healthcare is taking over for more wealthy individuals nowadays. I try to stay as healthy as I can so I don't have to wait 16000 years for minor surgery. Years ago we had many young people from poorer countries queuing up to marry spinsters for a chance to emigrate here. But the weather is like a rollercoaster, so wear a raincoat and bikini and a woolly scarf....all at once

It's also a mixed bag of cultures nowadays. Where I live we have quite a lot of Indian diaspora and the curries are, shall I say completely delicious.

I guess if love is that much of a force like like they say in the arts then let anyone stop us from even going as far out as mars

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I have always loved staying in different places and exploring different living spaces (hotels, rental places, etc.)

If I had money, I would gather up a group of friends and those feeling adventurous enough would come stay with me in as many different and unique accommodations as we could find -- tree houses, hobbit holes, magnificent log cabins (but with modern amenities,) and, if I could talk anyone into it, possibly an ice hotel!