Fight For Your Marriage

Fight for your marriage. Get the therapy, put in the work, and never accept defeat because your vow never had words of defeat. Your vow which unfortunately by law may not have the teeth it should have but if you marry with God as a witness to your covenant, the law of God surpasses any law of the land.

I get it, it takes two to work.

Hold on!

You can only control yourself. Do the work no matter the cooperation, no matter the replies, no matter how the future may look. Start now.

Love even if the emotion wants anger.
Love even if the emotion wants to fight.
Love even if the emotion wants to give up.

The honeymoon phase is not the love that cements and holds a marriage together. The choice to love even if the current emotion doesn't feel it, is the cement to remain strong for decades to come.

Lasting love is an action that brings alive the emotion that in return stirs up the action of love in the other.

Fleeting love is an emotion that brings alive action but only if positive emotion comes first.

We must not be selfish and instead be self-less. Two people that move towards selflessness will soon discover lasting love.

(I understand that God allows divorce in very limited cases. But it was never the design from the beginning. It is only allowed due to grave sins. Choosing to love doesn't mean leaving your discernment at the door and being in a situation to physically be beaten or killed.)

Thank you man, that actually helped a little.

You got this! Trust in the Lord.

I really needed to hear this, bless you! My marriage has been in trouble for the last 3 years and I feel like I'm fighting a battle that I can't win with a wife who is not interested in reconciliation. Therapy has helped me see my part in the situation and I've been drawing closer to God, but I still feel alone ad isolated. I really needed an encouraging word!

This is a very challenging topic, and one I'm also dealing with at the moment. My wife left me around a year ago, I wanted to fight for our relationship, have therapy etc, but she flatly refused and had no interest in reconciliation at all. So I'm not left with any choice but divorce. I hate that it's how it worked out, and I would never advise anyone gets a divorce because it is of course not biblical, and I truly believe that if 2 people come together with God at the center, then any conflict can be resolved.

But despite how it's worked out for me, God has still brought good out of it. I'm now closer to God that I have ever been - not in response to the fact I'm going through divorce as some kind of coping mechanism as you might expect, but actually because now I have the freedom to decide I want to be closer to God, where before I could never have seen that realistically happen. I'm now in a place where I'm not willing to do anything that will compromise my walk with God, and that might well mean I never marry again. And if so - so be it, I can be content in all things with God's help.

I hope it works it out for all in a struggling marriage, with God at the center you can come back together!

Keep up the fight! Do what is honorable in the eyes of God and despite the outcome, you will have either saved the marriage or was faithful to your part of the covenant. Sure it is unrealistic to say, even if you did everything God's way, she would fall in love. Unfortunately, so often it is some type of personal sin that causes them to abandon their covenant vows. Of course, every situation is different and often very complicated but where things go south is when someone believes there is no hope and they begin to grieve the marriage often years before the word divorce even comes up.

That grief stage begins as they pull away more, show less interest in their spouse, more interest in others, and soon the relationship becomes more like roommates.

It takes a long time to revive someone who has grieved for years something they lost hope in. As to why it is difficult for men as we typically want quick fixes but women want long-term consistency.

This is just from observation and study.

Stay encouraged. We serve a God of grace and forgiveness.