Does Repenting of Lust Repeatedly Fail Because We're Not Actually Digging Out the Root of the Problem?

Hey Everyone,

We know this is a topic that plagues most everyone, and we get countless threads and prayer requests on the forum for dealing with this subject. I'm going to post this in Singles, but everyone is welcome to answer as they feel comfortable.

I'm guessing that lust is problematic in different ways to different people (and to men vs. women,) but we all know it's something almost everyone struggles with.

I don't know if it's partially because I'm a woman, but I seem to go in phases, usually when I'm stressed out. I'm not particularly attracted to images. And when I see an especially attractive guy, I'm generally not thinking, "Woo hoo!" because from the time I was young, I knew I was a bit of an outsider. I'm not part of the "it" crowd in which really good-looking people fit, and I say that not out of pity -- but out of protection. I tend to try to stay realistic. I'm a girl-next-door kinda girl who isn't out thinking she's going to land a level 10+ kind of guy, so lusting over a good-looking guy isn't usually an issue for me, because I know I'd never attract his eye.

I think being realistic has helped me a lot with keeping my feelings fairly in check. But a conversation with a young co-worker a few years ago helped me better define my own inward struggles that I DO have. I asked this young teen how his day went at school, and he said, a bit wearily, "My friend just came out as pan sexual."

I had no idea what that meant (people who are turned on by pans?!) and had to consult Brother Google for a clue. I wound up spiraling down the rabbit hole of wondering exactly what modern-day label would be slapped onto me because, we've all been labeled something -- I figured, what's one more?

Interestingly, I found that I most closely identify with:

"Demi Sexual -- A sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person."

Now please note -- I am not in any way, shape, or form, promoting or condoning the craziness of the secular world. Rather, my goal was to get some information about some of the terms my young co-workers were using so that I could talk to them on their own level. For me, this is the most effective part of my witness -- learning to talk to people in their "own" "language" rather than immediately trying to force them into understanding Christianese.

It also got me thinking -- and talking to God.

I started to realize that the time I had issues with lustful thinking wasn't really with guys I met in real life, because that felt too disrespectful. Rather, I was more prone to developing attractions to characters in fictional stories in books, movies, and shows.

I detest typical "female" romance novels and consider the Hallmark channel an abomination. Instead, I was drawn to those old 80's action hero characters who could single-handedly mow through armies of small countries or mafia bosses to get to the woman they loved. To me, nothing screams romance like, "I just plowed through 20 guys with a rusty butter knife as my only weapon to rescue you!" Ah. The good old days!

But this dissection of thought, cause, and actions made me realize that I believe God was clearly convicting me of two things besides just lust:

1. I was guilty of idolatry -- of myself. I wanted to believe I was worth a man risking his life for, and loving me so much that he'd literally walk through hell to get to me. But this was past the point of just wanting romantic love, and basically wanting someone to worship me.

2. I was guilty of covetousness. Watching or reading these stories, I coveted what the characters had -- I wanted that bond, that relationship, that means to disappear into the world, that level of romance that's impossible for reality to sustain.

But God was convicting me of COVETING because either I didn't wanted "romance" to a level that doesn't actually exist, isn't mine to have, or isn't mine to have at this exact moment. And I had to repent accept this, because feeling like I wanted that or somehow deserved that or HAD TO HAVE THIS at this time was leading me down a path of ruin.

Like most everyone else here, I'm going through times that just seem to increase in complexity and struggle. And I found myself feeling restless and once again setting adrift when trying to mentally cope.

And again, I felt like God was telling me to repent of idolatry (self-worship through someone's adoration) and covetousness before it took root.

After doing so, I can say that I feel calmer and a bit more more focused.

Has anyone else experienced this, too?

We often have people in the forum asking for prayer and help with a pornography addiction. I've often wondered if the reason repenting of lust over and over again isn't working -- is because we're not fully repenting of all the other sins that may be involved?

* For instance, is a married person not finding freedom because the root of their lust is in coveting someone else or some other things in a spouse? (Better looks, better money, better family, etc.)

* Is the single person struggling with what they find on their computer of phone really dealing with wanting someone to worship and adore them? (Idolatry of self?)

* Is freedom eluding us because we aren't acknowledging and repenting of something, whether we are married or not, that God has told us "No" or "Not now" to, and we refuse to accept that answer?


I wrote about this same thread topic years ago and it seemed to resonate with several people. It's been on my mind for a while, so I'm wondering if maybe this might help someone else as well.

God knows our struggles and His grace, mercy, and unforgiveness are unending, so don't be afraid to go to Him honestly -- He understands and will forgive!

However, we also have to do our part in confessing our sins, and I often wonder if sometimes we fail to recognize and/or admit the specific ones we are committing, and that's what holds us back. For instance, what if we are generically repenting of lust, when God actually wants us to admit we aren't happy with what we have (single or married,) and need to learn to be?

God bless you in your fight, and you are not alone. 💗

Hey Everyone,

We know this is a topic that plagues most everyone, and we get countless threads and prayer requests on the forum for dealing with this subject. I'm going to post this in Singles, but everyone is welcome to answer as they feel comfortable.

I'm guessing that lust is problematic in different ways to different people (and to men vs. women,) but we all know it's something almost everyone struggles with.

I don't know if it's partially because I'm a woman, but I seem to go in phases, usually when I'm stressed out. I'm not particularly attracted to images. And when I see an especially attractive guy, I'm generally not thinking, "Woo hoo!" because from the time I was young, I knew I was a bit of an outsider. I'm not part of the "it" crowd in which really good-looking people fit, and I say that not out of pity -- but out of protection. I tend to try to stay realistic. I'm a girl-next-door kinda girl who isn't out thinking she's going to land a level 10+ kind of guy, so lusting over a good-looking guy isn't usually an issue for me, because I know I'd never attract his eye.

I think being realistic has helped me a lot with keeping my feelings fairly in check. But a conversation with a young co-worker a few years ago helped me better define my own inward struggles that I DO have. I asked this young teen how his day went at school, and he said, a bit wearily, "My friend just came out as pan sexual."

I had no idea what that meant (people who are turned on by pans?!) and had to consult Brother Google for a clue. I wound up spiraling down the rabbit hole of wondering exactly what modern-day label would be slapped onto me because, we've all been labeled something -- I figured, what's one more?

Interestingly, I found that I most closely identify with:

"Demi Sexual -- A sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person."

Now please note -- I am not in any way, shape, or form, promoting or condoning the craziness of the secular world. Rather, my goal was to get some information about some of the terms my young co-workers were using so that I could talk to them on their own level. For me, this is the most effective part of my witness -- learning to talk to people in their "own" "language" rather than immediately trying to force them into understanding Christianese.

It also got me thinking -- and talking to God.

I started to realize that the time I had issues with lustful thinking wasn't really with guys I met in real life, because that felt too disrespectful. Rather, I was more prone to developing attractions to characters in fictional stories in books, movies, and shows.

I detest typical "female" romance novels and consider the Hallmark channel an abomination. Instead, I was drawn to those old 80's action hero characters who could single-handedly mow through armies of small countries or mafia bosses to get to the woman they loved. To me, nothing screams romance like, "I just plowed through 20 guys with a rusty butter knife as my only weapon to rescue you!" Ah. The good old days!

But this dissection of thought, cause, and actions made me realize that I believe God was clearly convicting me of two things besides just lust:

1. I was guilty of idolatry -- of myself. I wanted to believe I was worth a man risking his life for, and loving me so much that he'd literally walk through hell to get to me. But this was past the point of just wanting romantic love, and basically wanting someone to worship me.

2. I was guilty of covetousness. Watching or reading these stories, I coveted what the characters had -- I wanted that bond, that relationship, that means to disappear into the world, that level of romance that's impossible for reality to sustain.

But God was convicting me of COVETING because either I didn't wanted "romance" to a level that doesn't actually exist, isn't mine to have, or isn't mine to have at this exact moment. And I had to repent accept this, because feeling like I wanted that or somehow deserved that or HAD TO HAVE THIS at this time was leading me down a path of ruin.

Like most everyone else here, I'm going through times that just seem to increase in complexity and struggle. And I found myself feeling restless and once again setting adrift when trying to mentally cope.

And again, I felt like God was telling me to repent of idolatry (self-worship through someone's adoration) and covetousness before it took root.

After doing so, I can say that I feel calmer and a bit more more focused.

Has anyone else experienced this, too?

We often have people in the forum asking for prayer and help with a pornography addiction. I've often wondered if the reason repenting of lust over and over again isn't working -- is because we're not fully repenting of all the other sins that may be involved?

* For instance, is a married person not finding freedom because the root of their lust is in coveting someone else or some other things in a spouse? (Better looks, better money, better family, etc.)

* Is the single person struggling with what they find on their computer of phone really dealing with wanting someone to worship and adore them? (Idolatry of self?)

* Is freedom eluding us because we aren't acknowledging and repenting of something, whether we are married or not, that God has told us "No" or "Not now" to, and we refuse to accept that answer?


I wrote about this same thread topic years ago and it seemed to resonate with several people. It's been on my mind for a while, so I'm wondering if maybe this might help someone else as well.

God knows our struggles and His grace, mercy, and unforgiveness are unending, so don't be afraid to go to Him honestly -- He understands and will forgive!

However, we also have to do our part in confessing our sins, and I often wonder if sometimes we fail to recognize and/or admit the specific ones we are committing, and that's what holds us back. For instance, what if we are generically repenting of lust, when God actually wants us to admit we aren't happy with what we have (single or married,) and need to learn to be?

God bless you in your fight, and you are not alone. 💗

Hey Everyone,

We know this is a topic that plagues most everyone, and we get countless threads and prayer requests on the forum for dealing with this subject. I'm going to post this in Singles, but everyone is welcome to answer as they feel comfortable.

I'm guessing that lust is problematic in different ways to different people (and to men vs. women,) but we all know it's something almost everyone struggles with.

I don't know if it's partially because I'm a woman, but I seem to go in phases, usually when I'm stressed out. I'm not particularly attracted to images. And when I see an especially attractive guy, I'm generally not thinking, "Woo hoo!" because from the time I was young, I knew I was a bit of an outsider. I'm not part of the "it" crowd in which really good-looking people fit, and I say that not out of pity -- but out of protection. I tend to try to stay realistic. I'm a girl-next-door kinda girl who isn't out thinking she's going to land a level 10+ kind of guy, so lusting over a good-looking guy isn't usually an issue for me, because I know I'd never attract his eye.

I think being realistic has helped me a lot with keeping my feelings fairly in check. But a conversation with a young co-worker a few years ago helped me better define my own inward struggles that I DO have. I asked this young teen how his day went at school, and he said, a bit wearily, "My friend just came out as pan sexual."

I had no idea what that meant (people who are turned on by pans?!) and had to consult Brother Google for a clue. I wound up spiraling down the rabbit hole of wondering exactly what modern-day label would be slapped onto me because, we've all been labeled something -- I figured, what's one more?

Interestingly, I found that I most closely identify with:

"Demi Sexual -- A sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person."

Now please note -- I am not in any way, shape, or form, promoting or condoning the craziness of the secular world. Rather, my goal was to get some information about some of the terms my young co-workers were using so that I could talk to them on their own level. For me, this is the most effective part of my witness -- learning to talk to people in their "own" "language" rather than immediately trying to force them into understanding Christianese.

It also got me thinking -- and talking to God.

I started to realize that the time I had issues with lustful thinking wasn't really with guys I met in real life, because that felt too disrespectful. Rather, I was more prone to developing attractions to characters in fictional stories in books, movies, and shows.

I detest typical "female" romance novels and consider the Hallmark channel an abomination. Instead, I was drawn to those old 80's action hero characters who could single-handedly mow through armies of small countries or mafia bosses to get to the woman they loved. To me, nothing screams romance like, "I just plowed through 20 guys with a rusty butter knife as my only weapon to rescue you!" Ah. The good old days!

But this dissection of thought, cause, and actions made me realize that I believe God was clearly convicting me of two things besides just lust:

1. I was guilty of idolatry -- of myself. I wanted to believe I was worth a man risking his life for, and loving me so much that he'd literally walk through hell to get to me. But this was past the point of just wanting romantic love, and basically wanting someone to worship me.

2. I was guilty of covetousness. Watching or reading these stories, I coveted what the characters had -- I wanted that bond, that relationship, that means to disappear into the world, that level of romance that's impossible for reality to sustain.

But God was convicting me of COVETING because either I didn't wanted "romance" to a level that doesn't actually exist, isn't mine to have, or isn't mine to have at this exact moment. And I had to repent accept this, because feeling like I wanted that or somehow deserved that or HAD TO HAVE THIS at this time was leading me down a path of ruin.

Like most everyone else here, I'm going through times that just seem to increase in complexity and struggle. And I found myself feeling restless and once again setting adrift when trying to mentally cope.

And again, I felt like God was telling me to repent of idolatry (self-worship through someone's adoration) and covetousness before it took root.

After doing so, I can say that I feel calmer and a bit more more focused.

Has anyone else experienced this, too?

We often have people in the forum asking for prayer and help with a pornography addiction. I've often wondered if the reason repenting of lust over and over again isn't working -- is because we're not fully repenting of all the other sins that may be involved?

* For instance, is a married person not finding freedom because the root of their lust is in coveting someone else or some other things in a spouse? (Better looks, better money, better family, etc.)

* Is the single person struggling with what they find on their computer of phone really dealing with wanting someone to worship and adore them? (Idolatry of self?)

* Is freedom eluding us because we aren't acknowledging and repenting of something, whether we are married or not, that God has told us "No" or "Not now" to, and we refuse to accept that answer?


I wrote about this same thread topic years ago and it seemed to resonate with several people. It's been on my mind for a while, so I'm wondering if maybe this might help someone else as well.

God knows our struggles and His grace, mercy, and unforgiveness are unending, so don't be afraid to go to Him honestly -- He understands and will forgive!

However, we also have to do our part in confessing our sins, and I often wonder if sometimes we fail to recognize and/or admit the specific ones we are committing, and that's what holds us back. For instance, what if we are generically repenting of lust, when God actually wants us to admit we aren't happy with what we have (single or married,) and need to learn to be?

God bless you in your fight, and you are not alone. 💗

Hey Everyone,

We know this is a topic that plagues most everyone, and we get countless threads and prayer requests on the forum for dealing with this subject. I'm going to post this in Singles, but everyone is welcome to answer as they feel comfortable.

I'm guessing that lust is problematic in different ways to different people (and to men vs. women,) but we all know it's something almost everyone struggles with.

I don't know if it's partially because I'm a woman, but I seem to go in phases, usually when I'm stressed out. I'm not particularly attracted to images. And when I see an especially attractive guy, I'm generally not thinking, "Woo hoo!" because from the time I was young, I knew I was a bit of an outsider. I'm not part of the "it" crowd in which really good-looking people fit, and I say that not out of pity -- but out of protection. I tend to try to stay realistic. I'm a girl-next-door kinda girl who isn't out thinking she's going to land a level 10+ kind of guy, so lusting over a good-looking guy isn't usually an issue for me, because I know I'd never attract his eye.

I think being realistic has helped me a lot with keeping my feelings fairly in check. But a conversation with a young co-worker a few years ago helped me better define my own inward struggles that I DO have. I asked this young teen how his day went at school, and he said, a bit wearily, "My friend just came out as pan sexual."

I had no idea what that meant (people who are turned on by pans?!) and had to consult Brother Google for a clue. I wound up spiraling down the rabbit hole of wondering exactly what modern-day label would be slapped onto me because, we've all been labeled something -- I figured, what's one more?

Interestingly, I found that I most closely identify with:

"Demi Sexual -- A sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person."

Now please note -- I am not in any way, shape, or form, promoting or condoning the craziness of the secular world. Rather, my goal was to get some information about some of the terms my young co-workers were using so that I could talk to them on their own level. For me, this is the most effective part of my witness -- learning to talk to people in their "own" "language" rather than immediately trying to force them into understanding Christianese.

It also got me thinking -- and talking to God.

I started to realize that the time I had issues with lustful thinking wasn't really with guys I met in real life, because that felt too disrespectful. Rather, I was more prone to developing attractions to characters in fictional stories in books, movies, and shows.

I detest typical "female" romance novels and consider the Hallmark channel an abomination. Instead, I was drawn to those old 80's action hero characters who could single-handedly mow through armies of small countries or mafia bosses to get to the woman they loved. To me, nothing screams romance like, "I just plowed through 20 guys with a rusty butter knife as my only weapon to rescue you!" Ah. The good old days!

But this dissection of thought, cause, and actions made me realize that I believe God was clearly convicting me of two things besides just lust:

1. I was guilty of idolatry -- of myself. I wanted to believe I was worth a man risking his life for, and loving me so much that he'd literally walk through hell to get to me. But this was past the point of just wanting romantic love, and basically wanting someone to worship me.

2. I was guilty of covetousness. Watching or reading these stories, I coveted what the characters had -- I wanted that bond, that relationship, that means to disappear into the world, that level of romance that's impossible for reality to sustain.

But God was convicting me of COVETING because either I didn't wanted "romance" to a level that doesn't actually exist, isn't mine to have, or isn't mine to have at this exact moment. And I had to repent accept this, because feeling like I wanted that or somehow deserved that or HAD TO HAVE THIS at this time was leading me down a path of ruin.

Like most everyone else here, I'm going through times that just seem to increase in complexity and struggle. And I found myself feeling restless and once again setting adrift when trying to mentally cope.

And again, I felt like God was telling me to repent of idolatry (self-worship through someone's adoration) and covetousness before it took root.

After doing so, I can say that I feel calmer and a bit more more focused.

Has anyone else experienced this, too?

We often have people in the forum asking for prayer and help with a pornography addiction. I've often wondered if the reason repenting of lust over and over again isn't working -- is because we're not fully repenting of all the other sins that may be involved?

* For instance, is a married person not finding freedom because the root of their lust is in coveting someone else or some other things in a spouse? (Better looks, better money, better family, etc.)

* Is the single person struggling with what they find on their computer of phone really dealing with wanting someone to worship and adore them? (Idolatry of self?)

* Is freedom eluding us because we aren't acknowledging and repenting of something, whether we are married or not, that God has told us "No" or "Not now" to, and we refuse to accept that answer?


I wrote about this same thread topic years ago and it seemed to resonate with several people. It's been on my mind for a while, so I'm wondering if maybe this might help someone else as well.

God knows our struggles and His grace, mercy, and unforgiveness are unending, so don't be afraid to go to Him honestly -- He understands and will forgive!

However, we also have to do our part in confessing our sins, and I often wonder if sometimes we fail to recognize and/or admit the specific ones we are committing, and that's what holds us back. For instance, what if we are generically repenting of lust, when God actually wants us to admit we aren't happy with what we have (single or married,) and need to learn to be?

God bless you in your fight, and you are not alone. 💗

Hey Everyone,

We know this is a topic that plagues most everyone, and we get countless threads and prayer requests on the forum for dealing with this subject. I'm going to post this in Singles, but everyone is welcome to answer as they feel comfortable.

I'm guessing that lust is problematic in different ways to different people (and to men vs. women,) but we all know it's something almost everyone struggles with.

I don't know if it's partially because I'm a woman, but I seem to go in phases, usually when I'm stressed out. I'm not particularly attracted to images. And when I see an especially attractive guy, I'm generally not thinking, "Woo hoo!" because from the time I was young, I knew I was a bit of an outsider. I'm not part of the "it" crowd in which really good-looking people fit, and I say that not out of pity -- but out of protection. I tend to try to stay realistic. I'm a girl-next-door kinda girl who isn't out thinking she's going to land a level 10+ kind of guy, so lusting over a good-looking guy isn't usually an issue for me, because I know I'd never attract his eye.

I think being realistic has helped me a lot with keeping my feelings fairly in check. But a conversation with a young co-worker a few years ago helped me better define my own inward struggles that I DO have. I asked this young teen how his day went at school, and he said, a bit wearily, "My friend just came out as pan sexual."

I had no idea what that meant (people who are turned on by pans?!) and had to consult Brother Google for a clue. I wound up spiraling down the rabbit hole of wondering exactly what modern-day label would be slapped onto me because, we've all been labeled something -- I figured, what's one more?

Interestingly, I found that I most closely identify with:

"Demi Sexual -- A sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person."

Now please note -- I am not in any way, shape, or form, promoting or condoning the craziness of the secular world. Rather, my goal was to get some information about some of the terms my young co-workers were using so that I could talk to them on their own level. For me, this is the most effective part of my witness -- learning to talk to people in their "own" "language" rather than immediately trying to force them into understanding Christianese.

It also got me thinking -- and talking to God.

I started to realize that the time I had issues with lustful thinking wasn't really with guys I met in real life, because that felt too disrespectful. Rather, I was more prone to developing attractions to characters in fictional stories in books, movies, and shows.

I detest typical "female" romance novels and consider the Hallmark channel an abomination. Instead, I was drawn to those old 80's action hero characters who could single-handedly mow through armies of small countries or mafia bosses to get to the woman they loved. To me, nothing screams romance like, "I just plowed through 20 guys with a rusty butter knife as my only weapon to rescue you!" Ah. The good old days!

But this dissection of thought, cause, and actions made me realize that I believe God was clearly convicting me of two things besides just lust:

1. I was guilty of idolatry -- of myself. I wanted to believe I was worth a man risking his life for, and loving me so much that he'd literally walk through hell to get to me. But this was past the point of just wanting romantic love, and basically wanting someone to worship me.

2. I was guilty of covetousness. Watching or reading these stories, I coveted what the characters had -- I wanted that bond, that relationship, that means to disappear into the world, that level of romance that's impossible for reality to sustain.

But God was convicting me of COVETING because either I didn't wanted "romance" to a level that doesn't actually exist, isn't mine to have, or isn't mine to have at this exact moment. And I had to repent accept this, because feeling like I wanted that or somehow deserved that or HAD TO HAVE THIS at this time was leading me down a path of ruin.

Like most everyone else here, I'm going through times that just seem to increase in complexity and struggle. And I found myself feeling restless and once again setting adrift when trying to mentally cope.

And again, I felt like God was telling me to repent of idolatry (self-worship through someone's adoration) and covetousness before it took root.

After doing so, I can say that I feel calmer and a bit more more focused.

Has anyone else experienced this, too?

We often have people in the forum asking for prayer and help with a pornography addiction. I've often wondered if the reason repenting of lust over and over again isn't working -- is because we're not fully repenting of all the other sins that may be involved?

* For instance, is a married person not finding freedom because the root of their lust is in coveting someone else or some other things in a spouse? (Better looks, better money, better family, etc.)

* Is the single person struggling with what they find on their computer of phone really dealing with wanting someone to worship and adore them? (Idolatry of self?)

* Is freedom eluding us because we aren't acknowledging and repenting of something, whether we are married or not, that God has told us "No" or "Not now" to, and we refuse to accept that answer?


I wrote about this same thread topic years ago and it seemed to resonate with several people. It's been on my mind for a while, so I'm wondering if maybe this might help someone else as well.

God knows our struggles and His grace, mercy, and unforgiveness are unending, so don't be afraid to go to Him honestly -- He understands and will forgive!

However, we also have to do our part in confessing our sins, and I often wonder if sometimes we fail to recognize and/or admit the specific ones we are committing, and that's what holds us back. For instance, what if we are generically repenting of lust, when God actually wants us to admit we aren't happy with what we have (single or married,) and need to learn to be?

God bless you in your fight, and you are not alone. 💗

Lust is a warping of natural desires.

Instead of desiring love and to be loved/desired people desire a thrill wrapped in an experience. Hormones pushing this even further.
And the pleasing appearance of another somehow makes it better? (It doesn't)

These "pretty" people spend 40-100+ hours every week in maintaining and enhancing their appearance. They don't have any life experience that they can use to hold up their end of a reasonably pleasant conversation above the weather or pop music.

And our society is getting worse instead of better. Statistics are that 1 in 10 of American, young, marriage age women have an OnlyFans account. Which means they are never getting a husband of any substantial moral character.

These women have turned themselves into prostitutes for money and accolades.
That's 10% of American women.

Then there's the gooners. Those who are in the habit of viewing this material. They equate baiting with love. When some of these images are computer generated or at least enhanced. Computer filters these days can turn an old hag into a beauty queen....
And it's more common than we want to believe.

This smart phone generation is absolutely dumb when it comes time for personal, face to face interaction. IOW they literally can't do it. The school dances are now left to the prostitutes and gooners acting out scenes from porn movies.

Honestly ? I think that lust is a natural and biological thing . If none of us ever felt lust then there wouldn't ever b any babies born would there ? I don't believe that lust ( I'm talking about the romantic / sexual kind , not lust for power or possessions etc ) in and of itself isn't sinful , it's what we do with it that matters . Lust between a man and wife is totally without shame . I think that one of the reasons marriage was invented for us by God , is to give us an acceptable outlet for our natural lust . Maybe whenever a single person feels lust , it's God's way of telling them that they need to start looking for a suitable spouse 🤷 . Think about animals , they have the same urges as we do and if they didn't have them there wouldn't b any animals born would there ? Some animals and birds mate for life , others only ever meet each other when there urges compel them to . We , r not animals , God had told us what behaviour He wants from us and if our lust is driving us a bit crazy then maybe we need to look for an acceptable means of expression for it . Sorry if that sounds a bit clinical and simplistic . Lust is a healthy and natural thing and should b expressed in a healthy and natural way . Look what happens when some people force themselves to try and supress it , think of the celibate catholics , nuns and priests . Their lack of intimate loving relationships can very often warp the way they relate to others and cause all kinds of deviant behaviour .

And it is another way the enemy can come in to attempt to steal, kill and destroy , especially should we twist the natural person to such a lifestyle.

There were a couple of typos in my original reply 🙄 I hope u could spot them and realise that they were mistakes , I meant to say that I don't believe that lust , in and of its self IS sinful.....🥴 Stupid auto correct 😵

Hey Everyone,

We know this is a topic that plagues most everyone, and we get countless threads and prayer requests on the forum for dealing with this subject. I'm going to post this in Singles, but everyone is welcome to answer as they feel comfortable.

I'm guessing that lust is problematic in different ways to different people (and to men vs. women,) but we all know it's something almost everyone struggles with.

I don't know if it's partially because I'm a woman, but I seem to go in phases, usually when I'm stressed out. I'm not particularly attracted to images. And when I see an especially attractive guy, I'm generally not thinking, "Woo hoo!" because from the time I was young, I knew I was a bit of an outsider. I'm not part of the "it" crowd in which really good-looking people fit, and I say that not out of pity -- but out of protection. I tend to try to stay realistic. I'm a girl-next-door kinda girl who isn't out thinking she's going to land a level 10+ kind of guy, so lusting over a good-looking guy isn't usually an issue for me, because I know I'd never attract his eye.

I think being realistic has helped me a lot with keeping my feelings fairly in check. But a conversation with a young co-worker a few years ago helped me better define my own inward struggles that I DO have. I asked this young teen how his day went at school, and he said, a bit wearily, "My friend just came out as pan sexual."

I had no idea what that meant (people who are turned on by pans?!) and had to consult Brother Google for a clue. I wound up spiraling down the rabbit hole of wondering exactly what modern-day label would be slapped onto me because, we've all been labeled something -- I figured, what's one more?

Interestingly, I found that I most closely identify with:

"Demi Sexual -- A sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person."

Now please note -- I am not in any way, shape, or form, promoting or condoning the craziness of the secular world. Rather, my goal was to get some information about some of the terms my young co-workers were using so that I could talk to them on their own level. For me, this is the most effective part of my witness -- learning to talk to people in their "own" "language" rather than immediately trying to force them into understanding Christianese.

It also got me thinking -- and talking to God.

I started to realize that the time I had issues with lustful thinking wasn't really with guys I met in real life, because that felt too disrespectful. Rather, I was more prone to developing attractions to characters in fictional stories in books, movies, and shows.

I detest typical "female" romance novels and consider the Hallmark channel an abomination. Instead, I was drawn to those old 80's action hero characters who could single-handedly mow through armies of small countries or mafia bosses to get to the woman they loved. To me, nothing screams romance like, "I just plowed through 20 guys with a rusty butter knife as my only weapon to rescue you!" Ah. The good old days!

But this dissection of thought, cause, and actions made me realize that I believe God was clearly convicting me of two things besides just lust:

1. I was guilty of idolatry -- of myself. I wanted to believe I was worth a man risking his life for, and loving me so much that he'd literally walk through hell to get to me. But this was past the point of just wanting romantic love, and basically wanting someone to worship me.

2. I was guilty of covetousness. Watching or reading these stories, I coveted what the characters had -- I wanted that bond, that relationship, that means to disappear into the world, that level of romance that's impossible for reality to sustain.

But God was convicting me of COVETING because either I didn't wanted "romance" to a level that doesn't actually exist, isn't mine to have, or isn't mine to have at this exact moment. And I had to repent accept this, because feeling like I wanted that or somehow deserved that or HAD TO HAVE THIS at this time was leading me down a path of ruin.

Like most everyone else here, I'm going through times that just seem to increase in complexity and struggle. And I found myself feeling restless and once again setting adrift when trying to mentally cope.

And again, I felt like God was telling me to repent of idolatry (self-worship through someone's adoration) and covetousness before it took root.

After doing so, I can say that I feel calmer and a bit more more focused.

Has anyone else experienced this, too?

We often have people in the forum asking for prayer and help with a pornography addiction. I've often wondered if the reason repenting of lust over and over again isn't working -- is because we're not fully repenting of all the other sins that may be involved?

* For instance, is a married person not finding freedom because the root of their lust is in coveting someone else or some other things in a spouse? (Better looks, better money, better family, etc.)

* Is the single person struggling with what they find on their computer of phone really dealing with wanting someone to worship and adore them? (Idolatry of self?)

* Is freedom eluding us because we aren't acknowledging and repenting of something, whether we are married or not, that God has told us "No" or "Not now" to, and we refuse to accept that answer?


I wrote about this same thread topic years ago and it seemed to resonate with several people. It's been on my mind for a while, so I'm wondering if maybe this might help someone else as well.

God knows our struggles and His grace, mercy, and unforgiveness are unending, so don't be afraid to go to Him honestly -- He understands and will forgive!

However, we also have to do our part in confessing our sins, and I often wonder if sometimes we fail to recognize and/or admit the specific ones we are committing, and that's what holds us back. For instance, what if we are generically repenting of lust, when God actually wants us to admit we aren't happy with what we have (single or married,) and need to learn to be?

God bless you in your fight, and you are not alone. 💗

It’s been over a month and a half since I have looked at any nude imagery. So it is possible. TMI: but I haven’t even touched myself since my relationship.

There are techniques to protect oneself from lust. It’s all balance.

I’ve gone a year and a half without touching myself no problem and I don’t have any erectile issues.

I’m kind of a freak of nature.

My dad’s wife says we have good genes.

Hey Everyone,

We know this is a topic that plagues most everyone, and we get countless threads and prayer requests on the forum for dealing with this subject. I'm going to post this in Singles, but everyone is welcome to answer as they feel comfortable.

I'm guessing that lust is problematic in different ways to different people (and to men vs. women,) but we all know it's something almost everyone struggles with.

I don't know if it's partially because I'm a woman, but I seem to go in phases, usually when I'm stressed out. I'm not particularly attracted to images. And when I see an especially attractive guy, I'm generally not thinking, "Woo hoo!" because from the time I was young, I knew I was a bit of an outsider. I'm not part of the "it" crowd in which really good-looking people fit, and I say that not out of pity -- but out of protection. I tend to try to stay realistic. I'm a girl-next-door kinda girl who isn't out thinking she's going to land a level 10+ kind of guy, so lusting over a good-looking guy isn't usually an issue for me, because I know I'd never attract his eye.

I think being realistic has helped me a lot with keeping my feelings fairly in check. But a conversation with a young co-worker a few years ago helped me better define my own inward struggles that I DO have. I asked this young teen how his day went at school, and he said, a bit wearily, "My friend just came out as pan sexual."

I had no idea what that meant (people who are turned on by pans?!) and had to consult Brother Google for a clue. I wound up spiraling down the rabbit hole of wondering exactly what modern-day label would be slapped onto me because, we've all been labeled something -- I figured, what's one more?

Interestingly, I found that I most closely identify with:

"Demi Sexual -- A sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person."

Now please note -- I am not in any way, shape, or form, promoting or condoning the craziness of the secular world. Rather, my goal was to get some information about some of the terms my young co-workers were using so that I could talk to them on their own level. For me, this is the most effective part of my witness -- learning to talk to people in their "own" "language" rather than immediately trying to force them into understanding Christianese.

It also got me thinking -- and talking to God.

I started to realize that the time I had issues with lustful thinking wasn't really with guys I met in real life, because that felt too disrespectful. Rather, I was more prone to developing attractions to characters in fictional stories in books, movies, and shows.

I detest typical "female" romance novels and consider the Hallmark channel an abomination. Instead, I was drawn to those old 80's action hero characters who could single-handedly mow through armies of small countries or mafia bosses to get to the woman they loved. To me, nothing screams romance like, "I just plowed through 20 guys with a rusty butter knife as my only weapon to rescue you!" Ah. The good old days!

But this dissection of thought, cause, and actions made me realize that I believe God was clearly convicting me of two things besides just lust:

1. I was guilty of idolatry -- of myself. I wanted to believe I was worth a man risking his life for, and loving me so much that he'd literally walk through hell to get to me. But this was past the point of just wanting romantic love, and basically wanting someone to worship me.

2. I was guilty of covetousness. Watching or reading these stories, I coveted what the characters had -- I wanted that bond, that relationship, that means to disappear into the world, that level of romance that's impossible for reality to sustain.

But God was convicting me of COVETING because either I didn't wanted "romance" to a level that doesn't actually exist, isn't mine to have, or isn't mine to have at this exact moment. And I had to repent accept this, because feeling like I wanted that or somehow deserved that or HAD TO HAVE THIS at this time was leading me down a path of ruin.

Like most everyone else here, I'm going through times that just seem to increase in complexity and struggle. And I found myself feeling restless and once again setting adrift when trying to mentally cope.

And again, I felt like God was telling me to repent of idolatry (self-worship through someone's adoration) and covetousness before it took root.

After doing so, I can say that I feel calmer and a bit more more focused.

Has anyone else experienced this, too?

We often have people in the forum asking for prayer and help with a pornography addiction. I've often wondered if the reason repenting of lust over and over again isn't working -- is because we're not fully repenting of all the other sins that may be involved?

* For instance, is a married person not finding freedom because the root of their lust is in coveting someone else or some other things in a spouse? (Better looks, better money, better family, etc.)

* Is the single person struggling with what they find on their computer of phone really dealing with wanting someone to worship and adore them? (Idolatry of self?)

* Is freedom eluding us because we aren't acknowledging and repenting of something, whether we are married or not, that God has told us "No" or "Not now" to, and we refuse to accept that answer?


I wrote about this same thread topic years ago and it seemed to resonate with several people. It's been on my mind for a while, so I'm wondering if maybe this might help someone else as well.

God knows our struggles and His grace, mercy, and unforgiveness are unending, so don't be afraid to go to Him honestly -- He understands and will forgive!

However, we also have to do our part in confessing our sins, and I often wonder if sometimes we fail to recognize and/or admit the specific ones we are committing, and that's what holds us back. For instance, what if we are generically repenting of lust, when God actually wants us to admit we aren't happy with what we have (single or married,) and need to learn to be?

God bless you in your fight, and you are not alone. 💗

Thank you for being His, thank you for being you, thank you for being here to share and grow. blessings

Most of His changes is us are Isaiah 28 type changes, line upon line, precept upon precept. here a little , there a little.
His blessings