A death in the family

I just received noticed that one of my nieces died in a car accident last night.

Any prayers for the surviving family members would be appreciated.

Thank you.

So sorry for your loss, may the Lord bring you comfort and peace in this time.

'Let us pray the Spirit of God is close to the family and all those intended.
Praying for comfort and coming together with God for strength and family
support of one another.'
'Amen'

Sorry for your loss. I pray that God gives you peace and hope in knowing that you will see her again someday. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you, but I honestly do not have the hope that I will see her again someday. In other words, it is highly unlikely that she was saved.

I come from a very big, and very evil, family, and much of the evil stems from my siblings themselves. Where their children (my nieces and nephews) are concerned, although I was very close to them (my nieces and nephews) when they were younger, my siblings spent years slandering me to them in order to turn them against me, and, sad to say, they were very successful in their pursuits. Why did/do my siblings despise me so much? There is only one reason, and that reason is that I am a Christian. In other words, because of their vehement contempt for Christ and biblical Christianity, I became guilty by association, and, therefore, my siblings did not want my Christianity possibly rubbing off on their children in any way or fashion.

As a direct result of the above, and let me pause to say that this vehement hatred for Christ also exists in my aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, etc., I have been estranged from my family for years. In fact, when I received the text message yesterday morning which informed me of my niece's passing, and when I spoke to that sister on the phone for further clarification, it was the first time that she and I had spoken in years.

Rather than write a novel here, I honestly do not believe that any of my relatives are saved. If you met them, then I trust that you would be of the same mindset. Some of them truly are murderous antichrists in that they go berserk if anything related to Christ or Christianity is even mentioned. Having said all of this, I not only have the grief of thinking that my niece is now in hell, but also the grief of knowing that my own family members are turning away others from Christ because of their own contempt for him.

On top of this, my niece's wake and funeral, which have not been scheduled yet because the coroner has not yet released her body, will be held in a different state than the state in which I reside. Should I attend either, I will be walking into a viper's nest.

Anyhow, this is but a sample of what I am dealing with, so any prayers for wisdom for me, and salvation for my family members, are appreciated.

Out of curiosity, what do you people think Jesus meant here?

Luk 9:59
And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
Luk 9:60
Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.

In other words, who do you think the "dead" were who were going to bury their dead?

It seems apparent to me that Jesus was referring to those who were spiritually dead here. Anyhow, I am wondering if I should just skip any wake or funeral. To my recollection, the last two times that I saw any of my family members were at the wakes or funerals for my mother and my uncle (there was a few years between those events). In both cases, and without any exaggeration whatsoever, my siblings facilitated or expedited their deaths in order to get bigger monetary inheritances when they passed. Believe me, my siblings are EVIL! Anyhow, I did stand up and preach the gospel (none of my siblings were going to stop me...I've got balls) at my mother's wake. If you have ever heard the expression "If looks could kill, then you'd be lying on the floor" before, then, yea, that was pretty much the reception that my gospel presentation got there. I gave it because there were people other than my family members present there. In other words, if it had only been my family members who were present, then I probably would not have even bothered to open my mouth.

Anyhow, I am wondering if it would serve any purpose in God's eyes for me to attend either the wake or the funeral of my niece, or should I just let the dead bury their own dead?

Trust me, my family members hate Jesus Christ, and if anything, then hate is not a strong enough word to describe it.

Who knows what God might be doing in the hearts of some of your family members. Death has a way of bringing introspection. You might be surprised how many are seeking answers.

I have considered this before, and especially in the light of this.

Ecc 7:2
It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.
Ecc 7:3
Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.
Ecc 7:4
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

In other words, I have attended previous wakes or funerals in the hope that the living would lay such things to their hearts, or in the hope that they would come to the realization that, one day, they will be lying in a casket. Such a realization, you would think, would lead people to ponder what awaits them beyond the grave, but I have not seen any indication of this with my family members.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I was just offering another perspective from the one you initially shared. Sounds like you have considered things well. Ultimately I'm sure you'll be led of the Lord.

I know, and I asked for advice, so thank you for giving some. I have, but I am still not sure what to do.
I hope so.

I'm told that when people in later life consider their lives that they often regret many things. But one of the things that is never regretted is the time they spent with family. It is said of Schindler that he regretted not being able to save one more Jew. Will you regret not taking advantage of this opportunity to one more time plead with God to save your loved ones and use you in the process?

I am not trying to be either funny or dismissive, but I have never seen even a hint of that where my own family is concerned. In other families? Sure, I would imagine that has oftentimes been the case. Incidentally, and I did not mention this earlier, my siblings all hate each other too. One of them has not associated himself with the rest of the family for almost his entire life, and the only time that anybody ever sees him is at wakes or funerals. The rest of them? They have been at each other's throats for basically their entire lives. One of my sisters has been seeing a psychiatrist for many years because of the contempt that has long existed between her and another sister of mine for many years. I am familiar with what Schindler said (in the movie, anyway), and I have asked myself this exact question that you have posed to me. Again, I am not sure, but if I am to be totally honest, at present, I doubt that I would regret it. In other words, there have been plenty of other opportunities in the past, and I took full advantage of them. The end results? Only a bigger chasm between us, and that chasm truly has nothing at all to do with me. Again, I am only guilty by association because I am a Christian. The real issue is that my family members hate Jesus. I am just collateral damage.

Anyhow, I am still not sure what to do. I truly do appreciate your comments, and I am sincerely pondering the things which you have said. Hopefully, I will make the right decision...whatever that turns out to be.

It just dawned on me that you were probably referring to me not spending more time with them. Do I regret it? I do not know how I could because they have basically cast me off as being evil simply because I am a Christian. In a very real sense, and I am not exaggerating, they have told me to check Christ at the door if I ever want to be around any of them, and that is not something that I would ever consider doing. Also, do not mistakenly think that I am always preaching to them because nothing could be further from the truth. They simply hate me because my lifestyle does not match their lifestyles.

Anyhow, Jesus said that he did not come to bring peace, but a sword. Of course, the sword is the word of God which will oftentimes cause division. Jesus also warned that a man's foes would at times be those of his own household, and this has truly been my experience.

Bottom line? This is a complex situation with different variables involved, and that is why I am still uncertain as to what I should do.

You are free to choose unless the Lord decides otherwise. Sometimes even seemingly big decisions are left up to us with no correct answer.

One thing I will add to what @Cameron143 said, although he touched on it, it sounds like you may be the only carrier of God's grace in your natural family. Attending your niece's funeral would be a mercy of God to the people.

Or two coffins might be required (after they murder me) before everything is said and done.

Anyhow, my niece is quite possibly in hell right now, and that greatly troubles me. As I was lying in bed last night, I was reminiscing of how close she and I used to be when she was little/younger. What changed all that? Primarily, slander from both her mother (my sister) and her father (who similarly hates Christ). Add to that slander from my other family members, and a relationship was destroyed which could have potentially led to her salvation.

If what I am saying is true, and I am afraid that it is, then imagine her present horror, and the future horror which awaits those who helped to potentially turn her away from Christ.

Life is no joke, and we will all ultimately give an account before the judgment seat of Christ. God forbid that I or anybody else should ever be a stumbling block to somebody else.

I wonder how God will judge those who, through coercion, threat of violence, and manipulation, never came to Christ.

I think that Jesus already answered this question for us when he laid out the cost of discipleship. We are either willing to pay it (the cost), or we are not willing to pay it (the cost). Either way, we are accountable for our own choices.

I get that. But we cannot assume volition (willingness) when a culture forbids it.

On another note, one of my sisters just texted me a link to the newspaper's account of my niece's death. According to that report, her car skidded on a patch of ice as she was seeking to enter the highway, and then it spun out of control and bounced off of a guard rail. After that, her car was struck by another vehicle, and that is apparently what caused her death. Tragic.

I am kind of leaning towards trying to attend, but there are a couple of natural variables involved here too.

For one thing, I have been pretty much bedridden for the last ten days with an injured foot. Without exaggeration, I have spent close to 23 hours of each of the last ten 24 hour days in bed. I have only been getting up to use the bathroom, to eat, or to take about a 15 minute hobble to the nearby grocery store so that I do not go completely stir crazy. I am usually pretty strong physically, but Pee Wee Herman could probably take me in a street fight right about now because I have not been getting any exercise due to my foot injury. I have my next appointment with the company doctor (I got hurt at work) at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow, and I am guessing that he will keep my restrictions in place for at least another two or three days after my appointment.

Also, the wake and funeral will be held out of state, and the dates have not yet been determined, so I will have very limited time to potentially make traveling arrangements.

Anyhow, if anybody reading this would not mind saying a prayer for God to sort all of this out somehow, then I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you.