I am just reaching out..

Good Afternoon everyone,
I am new here... just joined.
I came looking for a place to connect with likeminded Christian people. I was just dumped by my boyfriend 3.5 weeks ago and it broke my heart, especially since he told me over and over again that he wanted to marry me and he loved me and saw us doing ministry together and living out life together(this comes after both of us have been divorced once before). Our relationship was amazing and Jesus was the centre of it all the whole time. Then, 7 days after New Year's he broke up with me . Told me that "God said to break up with me and that he isnt to be in a romantic relationship with anyone right now and that there was "more".

So I (38F) have been dealing with a lot of heart ache. I dont know if I have gone a day without crying. Especially with it being the first relationship after my divorce..it feels almost as painful..just from the rejection. He said he totally felt that we were supposed to get married and be together and God wanted us to do ministry together and then its like "nope.." and I am left sitting here going "God that was my best friend!" and "i dont understand why the sudden change..why would you take him away from me?"

Anyway..long story short..I am struggling to be single..I am struggling with being okay being single and I am struggling with him not being in my life. We have been trying to be friends but due to a crisis he is going through right now, he is really angry and really not believing the best about me. He was projecting a lot of his anger at his ex onto me and it was really hurtful. Wow i sound like a walking dis

Good Afternoon everyone,
I am new here... just joined.
I came looking for a place to connect with likeminded Christian people. I was just dumped by my boyfriend 3.5 weeks ago and it broke my heart, especially since he told me over and over again that he wanted to marry me and he loved me and saw us doing ministry together and living out life together(this comes after both of us have been divorced once before). Our relationship was amazing and Jesus was the centre of it all the whole time. Then, 7 days after New Year's he broke up with me . Told me that "God said to break up with me and that he isnt to be in a romantic relationship with anyone right now and that there was "more".

So I (38F) have been dealing with a lot of heart ache. I dont know if I have gone a day without crying. Especially with it being the first relationship after my divorce..it feels almost as painful..just from the rejection. He said he totally felt that we were supposed to get married and be together and God wanted us to do ministry together and then its like "nope.." and I am left sitting here going "God that was my best friend!" and "i dont understand why the sudden change..why would you take him away from me?"

Anyway..long story short..I am struggling to be single..I am struggling with being okay being single and I am struggling with him not being in my life. We have been trying to be friends but due to a crisis he is going through right now, he is really angry and really not believing the best about me. He was projecting a lot of his anger at his ex onto me and it was really hurtful. Wow i sound like a walking dis

do you speak in tongues????

Similar to lynx, I was gonna say something like don't believe a guy who blames his change of heart or interest on God. To be fair I think that a lot of Christians are prone to mixing up their feelings and God's will. And if any of us had figured out how to make breakups not hurt so much we would let you in on the secret.

yes

From what I've witnessed the two most false statement used, as a dating single... God wants us to marry & God told me we have to break up.
We've had countless people join the site claiming that they were "sure" God was telling them who they were supposed to marry. Rarely does it ever happen.
Many people come here upset that they didn't get married, after they "knew" God wanted them to.
The problem with this is it's easy to convince Yourself God is speaking to you. Even when it's blatantly something God would never want. I've experienced this.
I went through a God told me to break up, but I was on the receiving end. Unfortunately I knew she was lying for a few reasons (or perhaps convinced herself it was true). One reason being she kept giving different reasons, they changed every time. The other is i knew all of her fears and concerns and everything she brought up as "God" telling her matched up with her own personal issues. 100%. Everytime.
Or we can look at Amy Grant. Popular Christian singer, married to a Christian man, had a few kids. Then one day out of nowhere she came out saying the man she was married to was not her soul mate, and that she had met someone else who was her soul mate. She stated God told her to divorce her husband, and marry the non-Christian she had been seeing while she was married.
So, really, it's not something I trust. Nor do I believe in soul mates, or 'The One'. God also never promised marriage. I'm 49 and never been married, though I wanted to get married since I was a kid. At this point I don't really see it happening, either.

I can relate to the loss you feel when someone you care so much about leaves your life. It's happened many times, to me. Finally I learned you just have to be content single. Or make bad choices. If you're lucky maybe you'll meet someone again one day. But don't waste your life waiting for it to happen. Just go live life. That way if it never happens for you, you won't live full of regret about all the ways you missed out on life because your focus was off.

If he was taking out his anger he feels for someone else, and putting it on you, that may be a sign you've dodged a bullet.
Based just off of what you shared I'd say the guy seems pretty shady.

So sorry about this. we are praying for your personal restoration and healing and that God guides you through it and His overwhelming peace takes hold of you, sister.
Roberto & Julia

Also, howdy and welcome to the forum.

He's really hurting right now...really hurting. I would have agreed with you if i didnt know the extenuating circumstances and wasnt well versed in how he responds to hurt and how he respondes to crisis and responds to being overwhelmed. But thank you. Thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate the insight.

i’ll pray for him

Thank you!

welcome in, im in Canada too

Good Afternoon everyone,
I am new here... just joined.
I came looking for a place to connect with likeminded Christian people. I was just dumped by my boyfriend 3.5 weeks ago and it broke my heart, especially since he told me over and over again that he wanted to marry me and he loved me and saw us doing ministry together and living out life together(this comes after both of us have been divorced once before). Our relationship was amazing and Jesus was the centre of it all the whole time. Then, 7 days after New Year's he broke up with me . Told me that "God said to break up with me and that he isnt to be in a romantic relationship with anyone right now and that there was "more".

So I (38F) have been dealing with a lot of heart ache. I dont know if I have gone a day without crying. Especially with it being the first relationship after my divorce..it feels almost as painful..just from the rejection. He said he totally felt that we were supposed to get married and be together and God wanted us to do ministry together and then its like "nope.." and I am left sitting here going "God that was my best friend!" and "i dont understand why the sudden change..why would you take him away from me?"

Anyway..long story short..I am struggling to be single..I am struggling with being okay being single and I am struggling with him not being in my life. We have been trying to be friends but due to a crisis he is going through right now, he is really angry and really not believing the best about me. He was projecting a lot of his anger at his ex onto me and it was really hurtful. Wow i sound like a walking dis

Thanks.. what part? Im on the West Coast.