What about the I've got a lifetime commitment to my dog who believes it's her job to protect me from other humans, especially those scary men. When I first got her, I was saying that I made all my relationship mistakes with a dog instead of a man. But she's been a pretty good dog for me.
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Or maybe we should just say, I'm waiting for a man brave enough to come and get me (forgive the bad face blur job here):
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I imagine no one wonders how I ended up single now.