cigar - oh, most certainly not. If the image of you crunching on a bull fry makes me feel queasy, imagine the fear it will strike into the small, murky hearts of the Whangdoodles. They will practically be begging to be lassooed and defenestrated, provided there are no Whangdoodle fries as part of the equation.
Really? Turtle is terrible? I guess it's good (that it tastes bad), as turtles can take a long time to grow. I have tried caviar, and didn't really enjoy it either.