What are you looking in person?

We will all probably agree that we want someone who believes in God, of course. But really, what are your preferences? For example, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't like animals (even I don't need to have them many), but that is really important to me, it says a lot about that person. Etc. I would like to hear some of yours preferences. I have couple of them.

Beats me.

If I ever find her, I'll let you know what she's like. Until I meet her, I have no idea.

For me it was

• Faith
• Personality
• Smart
• Wise
• Responsible
• Beautiful
• Wanted a family
• A productive attitude
• A caregiver when sick or hurt
• Biblically guided on how to live as a Godly spouse or Godly mother.

But it is these preferences that keep me attracted to her. As it aligns with my core beliefs.

I think it's good to know some of these stuff before hand, so you know if you match this person. There are some topics that has to be known, for example: do you want kids, what are your beliefs, do you mind to move if it's needed, what are your political, philosophical and ethical views, especially religious one.. etc.

If I make up a list, and I meet the perfect girl for me, but she does not fit something on this list that I made up, and I totally ignore her because she doesn't fit a list... That would be a tragedy.

Beautiful. I love that response, thank you. It's great to see and hear what other people wanted and that they actually find it. God bless you!

Well, I can compromise, but some things are essential and person can't be perfect anyway and it will not be. But if I want kids and he doesn't, that's it, why would he or me sacrifice that if it's not needed? Or if He doesn't love Jesus. Of course, God has the final say but anyway, I think we should first know ourselves and our likes and dislikes as a person

Thank you. It is good to remind ourselves that preference can sometimes set the bar higher than their social circle. This can sometimes cause people to lower the bar for example to date a more secular-minded individual who may be friendly to the faith but does not grow in the faith. Out of frustration year after year, we may try to change the person towards our preferences with agonizing failures.

I believe that it is good to remember patience with dating and looking for that godly person. But it also means, accepting them in their current state because it is unrealistic to force change.

Now it isn't bad to encourage growth. But a God-ordained marriage is a covenant vow that isn't to be broken over issues like failing to meet our preferences. Even Paul says that once married to an unbeliever we are to stick with them unless abandoned, death, or adultery.

Thank you. It is good to remind ourselves that preference can sometimes set the bar higher than their social circle. This can sometimes cause people to lower the bar for example to date a more secular-minded individual who may be friendly to the faith but does not grow in the faith. Out of frustration year after year, we may try to change the person towards our preferences with agonizing failures.

I believe that it is good to remember patience with dating and looking for that godly person. But it also means, accepting them in their current state because it is unrealistic to force change.

Now it isn't bad to encourage growth. But a God-ordained marriage is a covenant vow that isn't to be broken over issues like failing to meet our preferences. Even Paul says that once married to an unbeliever we are to stick with them unless abandoned, death, or adultery.

Well I haven't met her yet, so I don't know. I may love her enough that I can overlook something like insistence on kids or no kids... or whatever she doesn't meet on my list.

I will wait until I meet her, and then decide if debits outweight credits.

What if I don't measure up to her list? What if she loves me enough to marry me anyway?

Somebody who doesn't gift me with a necklace made entirely out of fresh lamb right before locking me outside in her backyard with her pet wolf who hasn't eaten for three straight days.You know. Somebody like that.

Beats me.

If I ever find her, I'll let you know what she's like. Until I meet her, I have no idea.

This does bring up a good point...

I've found that my "list" has changed over the years, so I guess I've learned to be more flexible in what I'm looking for.

Has anyone else noticed this too? Some things like faith are fundamental -- but have you noticed your list changing as the years go by?

Even with something like faith -- I know I'd prefer someone who was grounded in faith whether than a newer Christian, say more than 5 years -- because I want to know how major life events have affected that person's faith along the way.

It's exactly a requirement, but it IS something I pay attention to, as I've met some newer Christians who, while wonderfully on fire for the faith in the beginning, have changed drastically when the thorns of life really start to hit.

I think every person has a different story, some people experienced more in less time. For example my profile it say I have been saved for 1-2 years, but acually that is when I was reborn and experienced very drastic change in life, even I knew about God my whole life.
I don't know, I think for me it doesn't matter how long someone is Christian, more like what kind of Christian and how does He sees and believe in Jesus.
But yes, for me some preferences have changed over the years but some didn't, some of them are fundamental.

We will all probably agree that we want someone who believes in God, of course. But really, what are your preferences? For example, I don't want to be with someone who doesn't like animals (even I don't need to have them many), but that is really important to me, it says a lot about that person. Etc. I would like to hear some of yours preferences. I have couple of them.

I absolutely agree that a timeline isn't an exact measure, for sure.

It's more about experience and how they handle things. I've known some people who reacted to challenging life events better before becoming believers than others who were believers their whole lives. But in the end, I do realize we all have different personalities/tolerances/are equipped differently.

The reason I mention it is because I have known a few people who became Christians, tried their best to adhere to a good Christian life, but for whatever reasons, became discouraged over time -- like 15 years -- and eventually went back to living in the world.

I'm definitely not saying everyone will do that, but it's something I've learned to be aware of.

Welcome to the family of Christ! You said you've known God all your life... What was it that made you decide to go from knowing about Him to following Him?

Hi! Teodora 😊 Welcome to CC!


I am not looking just wanna ask because I am curious about this" that says about that person" is it a negative thing or a positive one? 🤔😊