When I left Maine in 2014 my late second wife had just died after years of declining health.
My car had broken down too, lost everything that I had owned, even my two dogs. A few days after she died I resigned my position in the company that I had worked for. The day after her funeral service I left Maine for Florida to be with my family. The only stuff that I had left was a few clothes in a duffle bag. Got on the bus to Orlando. Broke, no car, no job, basically homeless. Severely depressed.
A month after that I joined Christian Chat. A month after that I met my future wife, JesusLives, who is a member of this site. She is a spiritual woman and even though I was a broken man, and seemingly dysfunctional, she saw potential in me.
Today, we own in a nice home in Tennessee, have a nice car, food in the fridge and the bills are always paid on time.
I am 69 years old, and semi-retired, work 4 days a week at the local McDonald's to supplement our finances. No dogs but we do have two cats. We are going to celebrate our 10th anniversary next month.
By the grace of God my life in now back on track. We make it a point to pray together each day, and read our bible.
I can relate to a lot of your opening post in this thread for I have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. I don't look back on the past as that is best left behind. I pray each day to keep moving forward in a positive direction.
You have hit rock bottom. By the grace of God He will pull you out of the hole that you reside, brake the chain of depression and fear that is keeping you down, and free you from the prison of your mind. You have to want this for yourself though, but keep in mind that the Lord will neither leave you nor forsake you.
You are traveling on rough water but you never know what is going to be around the next bend in the river. It just might be in a place that you need to be.
Never underestimate the power of prayer. With God all things are possible.
I will certainly pray for you and have confidence that you will make it through these rough times.
May God give you the strength to change the things that you can, the courage to accept the things that you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I will pray for God to lift you up to where you belong.