Thank you for articulating this thought. You just worded something I've thought of for years, but couldn't describe as precisely.
I used to go to a "Spirit-filled church" in which multiple people seemed to believe they were always direct mouthpieces of the Holy Spirit. If you didn't go along with them, join their ministry, support their cause, believe in healing to the degree they did ("Throw out all your meds unsupervised and believe in Jesus for healing!"), well, then you just didn't have enough faith, didn't really believe in God or were fighting against Him yourself, because they were just the messenger (and somehow always in perfect lockstep with God, making them able to correct everyone else but never accept correction themselves.)
And if that didn't work, well, there's always good old 1 Samuel 15:23 -- "Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft (like the sin of divination,) stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols, arrogance like the evil of idolatry."
I was called rebellious and stubborn more than once.
And of course there's times when I am! But something was bothering me, especially when these people lamented about others not being humble or teachable but somehow always failed to show any of those qualities themselves. I guess that's just for all the other pathetic sinners like myself and not them?
This is one of my own personal litmus tests -- I will only choose those who display humility and being able to be taught themselves as teachers. I tend to ignore "teachings" from anyone I've never seen apologize to anyone or refuse accept correction as much as they give it (because I don't believe anyone is that perfect that they need no or so little correcting.)
And as I was figuring these things out, the term that came to mind was "spiritual manipulation."
I'm a lot less prone to falling for it now. And I've become pretty adamant about warning other singles about this, because I've seen and heard too many cases of lonely singles being sucked in by dynamic, forceful personalities who won't accept any other way but their own -- because of course, "their way" is always "God's."
But they see themselves and God as one in the same, and they want to make you more like them, not like God.
They always tell me, "Take it up with God, because you're arguing with Him, not me."
Oh believe me, I do. If I'm wrong, I ask Him correct me and show me the reasons why I need to listen to so-and-so. But I also ask that if they are wrong, well... I'm sure God is capable of dealing with it on His own. After all, the OT bar for anyone giving false prophecies was death, so I'm sure God has some kind of modern-day measuring stick figured out. May all who speak prophecy be held to His standards and then some, as the Bible says teachers are held to higher standards.
Mostly though, I just ask Him that no one else will be strong-armed into deception by such people.