I went back and forth about talking about my full testimony today here but I reassured myself that it’s going to be a breath of fresh air to get it out, especially because Christians create such a kind and caring environment. I’ve had a past with experimenting with new age spiritually the past years since the pandemic and those were the worst years of my life. I developed an eating disorder while I was in early middle school and it got worse the older I got. I don’t come from a very affectionate family so I also began to look for ways to get attention and to “fill the void.” I started doing nicotine and marijuana and eventually I found myself being in a toxic relationship with a man a lot older than me. I began to get attached to him because “he was my first everything” and “he loves me” and I now know that that’s all untrue. After months of exclusively just talking, I started to meet up with him so we could have sex. 2 of the times was consensual but one of the time he got me dangerously high and took advantage of me. In short, my parents found out and I reported what happened to the police a month after the incident. This was one of my lowest points as I faced great scrutiny from almost everyone around me and I felt embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I decided to not talk to him for my own sake. When I was still using social media a guy I had added but never talked to started to randomly start to make conversation with me. A little while after talking I confess to him about what happened to me and he opens up about his own experiences. He then asks me if I believe in God. I say “Kind of” and that’s when he tells me what believing in him and starting to pray will rid me of all my problems. Something started to change in me, almost like I was looking through the world with new eyes. I started to discover that social media or guys won’t heal me. But God can. All the time I thought I was lonely I want, God was with me. I was scared that he wouldn’t accept me for all I done but our Lord has the kindest heart and opened his arms to me. All this time I was looking for someone who would make me feel better, be a friend through it all and I found that person in God. ❤️ currently, I’m not talking to the guy who introduced me back into Christianity again but I’ll forever be grateful for the guidance he provided. Along with this, a lot of toxic people or relationships have been trying to come back into my life but I’m staying strong and I’m definitely not planning on ever going back to them. I’m so glad I came back to Christ❤️❤️ doing better than ever. Amen
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