My Mom and Sister Died. I Could Lose Everything

Dear brothers and sisters,

It's been a long time since I asked prayers for Mom. I stopped as I was getting depressed reinforcing the tragic events in my mind by writing in my journal and here as well. Our forum has been a blessing in redirecting my depressed mind/ thoughts from the daily stresses that caused my health serious decline beyond what I can handle.
The other topics and funny videos helped me to refocus and be like a normal person at those times and helps me sleep. However my Mom died and you deserve to be filled in on her outcome as you are my true brothers and sisters.

Many of you prayed for my Mom who fell off her couch while sleeping and cut her head on the coffee table. She was eating and drinking fine, very independent and well up to this point.
Her neighbor friend called an ambulance. Had I known, I would have bandaged and treated the cut and she would've been just fine and doing well today.
I've done surgical wound treatments from serious bites, deep tears, crush injuries, puncture wounds and have always had successful results on wildlife and on domestic animals as surgical asst/ tech for an animal hospital.

A simple superficial laceration on the forehead is no reason for umpteen tests, scans and padding insurance bills beyond ridiculous. In fact that is what often leads to harm by the Medical hospital money machine.

The love of money is the root of all evil. An evil MD at the ER threatened Mom to submit to admission to be admitted to stay against her will. My half brother refused to contact me until he realized she was put into a dire situation he couldn't handle over a week later!
They claimed she had aspiration pneumonia.
IF that was the case, then she would be better off at home under my care than those worthless butchers.
I have had multiple consultations with much better physicians concerning Mom's treatment. I could have handled it myself with an occasional break from my brother and his family. I was bluntly told excuses why none of the 4 of them would help. I decided to do so all by myself. Money can be replaced, but family is special, especially MOM!

A nurse in front of me as I kneeled next to Mom said to the one taking notes with a physician nearby and other staff that "she heard the tablet go down the wrong way."

Folks, That did not cause a cough or gag reflex. I was right there and did not hear a thing, however it was the excuse they needed for a move to the medical ICU Unit at the teaching hospital. I asked the physician there some questions that he was extremely scared about and decided to give me some obviously pre-rehearsed spiel.

The procedure was mapped out. She would be vented, then the policy is the second ventilator inserted directly into her lungs through her mouth. That would be followed by a tracheostomy where they would cut her throat and insert a tube through the neck. I objected to all if this, giving sound reasons, however my Mom made the deadly choice of making my half bro the medical power.
The procedure was done while I was in the waiting room early morning because I spent the night.

I have many pages of notes that I will spare for sake of brevity. I'm sorry to those who followed my previous prayer request thread that I stopped abruptly. I was extremely stressed and tired from lack of sleep at that point. I also had concerns about the possibility of making a mistake that would be used against me if I decided to sue. I never wanted to sue, I just wanted Mom back home to recover from the trauma and incredible suffering that the "health care professionals" caused us.

To get my first post under the word length limit, I have to break this long post into two parts. Sorry if there's a break in continuity.
I will try to keep it clear by leaving the intro and closing prayer requests. The rest will be in the second post.


Since they medically murdered her, I have been trying to gather evidence. I will get no help from anyone so I must gain strength to accomplish that as one of my goals. Please pray for my speedy and complete recovery. Since then I have had many problems that I never discussed or asked for prayers. I need help though. I wouldt go to some MD if I had a million dollars, so I have been studying the best God-given Natural based free information I can find online and take the appropriate classes there.

I am very grateful for you, my brothers and sisters that in reality are family members. I don't know how I can see my half brother as when we were children now after all that. It is truly sad to lose him too.
My natural family is gone now, but the Lord reminds me of my family of believers in Christ.
I won't list all requests, but the highlights for prayer are the following.

1. I had many symptoms of turbo cancer. I lost a lot of blood from internal bleeding. My intestines quit working for a time. God has corrected that. I can now digest food. The bleeding and blockage has healed. Praise the Lord!

2. No appetite. However I eat a scheduled meal every day for strength. Most of the time it's rice and beans, and often some meat. I felt guilty about eating and list my appetite since whatever week Mom was in the hospital, but I do like to talk food as it helps a lot.

3. Heart condition. Stress Induced Cardiomyopathy. The short of it is that my heart is inflamed as are my blood vessels. My heart is badly misshapen with the left side enlarged while the right is weak and atrophied. The left side tries to compensate for the right. The right ventricle valve is weak too. I had fribulation, irregular heartbeats constantly for a long time.
Now it's just pressure and some discomfort, especially sleeping. I have trouble lying on my side. It puts pressure on it. With God's help and a few of the proper supplements, it's much better now, but have to keep up with them, avoiding stress as much as possible.

3. Exhaustion and tired all the time. It gives me serious brain fog and affects my memory.
That is from the heart problem, depression, the stress and ...

4. Malnourishment
My hair falls out a lot and tired all the time. I get down on myself because I feel so lazy. I'm not myself and have to keep trying to encourage myself because nobody else has or does except for those who do here. I am discouraged and have to stay in the Word at least twice per day for strength. Stress prevents the body from absorbing nutrients. I can feel it, but it isn't as bad as before.

5. My sister is dead. I discovered that when we tried to contact family for Mom's funeral. I don't know much about it and can't go into that right now, because I'm having enough trouble handling what has occurred over the months.

6. I have no more family.
My Dad was killed at the Clarksburg VA Hospital.
Now Mom and
my sister died too.
The first three were not natural causes. Having a family member killed by those ways to me seems tougher than natural causes, as devastating as any death is. There's times I feel I've failed them. That may or may not be true, but it feels that way at times.
Then I hate myself for regrets. It's tough to forgive these people that harmed my family and took them from me.

7. Sleep... I don't have many nightmares now, but was re-experiencing vivid night terrors of Mom's death at times. I can now get 2-5 hours a night on average.
Often wake up with bad thoughts and pain.

8. I have had the idea that everything can be put in hold until the biggest priority of Mom was taken care of. Then I focussed on her, while spending all my savings for food and utilities. I closed the business I was going to open and only have the hardware that nobody will likely buy. That's another stressor losing that dream, but must move forward.
I applied to an employment agency and need a job immediately. Please pray that I'll get hired next week.
Even then, There is no way I can make enough money in time. I just got a notice from the county sheriff's office that state property back taxes are overdue and I owe $2,392.
My home will be sold October 31 at auction.

There are a lot of challenges that I can only do so much about. Each one is slowly improving. The last one #8 slipped my mind and I can't afford to lose everything. Please pray as this is so urgent.
God has been so kind and has answered a lot of prayers in the past. I just don't have a clear head and am open to wisdom for the immediate need.

Thank you all and I love you.

Part 2

I tried to stay around the clock, but found that I was of no good for her if I could not eat or sleep. My health declined as I neglected my own needs. However, I spent as many hours with her, tending to Mom's needs every day. I tried to keep in the best repore with her caregivers, nurses, therapists, Drs and assistants. Every night I asked the nurses to call me immediately if there were any changes or alerts.

Things that didn't make sense happened. I asked to take Mom outside in her chair. That apparently was a BIG DEAL FOR STAFF at her Select Specialty Care Hospital she was transfered to. An assistant and a respiratory therapist were required to go with us. The therapist would not allow me to push my Mom.Once Mom was outside in the late morning sun we cried for joy! 🥹
Mom finally got to see the sun and breath fresh air! The respiratory therapist cut that short as she pulled the oxygen tank out of the cage attached to the back of the chair. She kept dropping the tank and I offered to help . It seemed like she was putting on a show. After this happened 3 times, I insisted because it was yanking the tube going to Mom's trachea insert tube! I reported this to the Dr, the head nurse, the case manager, the and every person in authority.

From that point on, they kept my precious Mom tied to the freaking bed rails!!! The respiratory therapist blamed Mom and everyone knew she lied! The trachea tube was pulled partly so it was still in, but not as far. They claimed that Mom was pulling it out and causing herself a hazard. These *friendly nurses and Dr lie like the Devil. May God reward them according to their deeds.
The only way they would deal with that was with her wrists and with tite mitts that forced her hands under pressure flat! She has rheumatoid arthritis and it's painful! She cannot flatten her hands and they forced her fingers out straight and she was unable to flex them!!!!! This was torture for crying out loud! I removed it when I was there and the smiling evil nurses that should be in prison, would get on me about not putting them on when I would go to sleep. I secretly cut the inside seams and removed most of the polyester fill from these torture devices that they insisted on when I went home to eat and nap.
They would sometimes replace them with new ones and they put long hot polyester boots on her legs that were too hot for an Eskimo. Whenever I was there, they came off. Occasionally nurse Ratchet would give me the evil eye and lecture me.
Folks, I took this to the patient advocate person who was worse than worthless. She was the stream valve to keep the hospital from so many law suits by pretending to be on the side of the patients. She said she was the one who filled insurance claims too.
One day she called my brother and me in for a meeting. She said insurance rejected Mom's treatments because she didn't respond to Occupational Therapy or PT. She insisted that death by Hospice was the ONLY OPTION. I told her and the director of Hospice in the room that I was very familiar with hospice. I was firm, yet diplomatic. I didn't tell her, but I've ministered to those poor folks on death row for many years. I know the methods of those executioners. My brother was quite aware what this means. He also was given the ultimatum by both Mom and I that she needed to be fed and go back home or she would die! Mom gave her last will and testament about that. She requested the nurse read and sign the document as a witness. She refused. My brother refused. Then he lied and said that Mom called him in when I wasn't there and told him the opposite!!! 😡
He also said that he was having marital problems because of Mom.
He lied and claimed that someone just told him that for every day she was in the hospital it would take a month for her to recover. I can tell when he's lying and it was utter dog crap.
With God's help I got my Dad out of a long coma, home and he was in his feet in a couple weeks climbing stairs. His sisters tried to get him admitted into a nursing home, but I wouldn't allow it. We were family and cared for each other as it aught to be. Dad did awesome for many years after that.

Back to the PT and OT insurance excuse.
I was there for PT and OT to watch and they never did any OT. They just spoon fed her or put her in a sitting position and that was ALL. The OT I observed the week before forced way too much food at once with a spoon even I would never use for anything other than serving from a container to the bowl. It stretched Mom's mouth to get it in. I insisted on a teaspoon and then reducing the amounts at once.

Then I worked to try to get those muscles and tendons the trach surgeon needlessly cut, to be strengthened. Another inserted a stomach tubes. I might go into that at another time.

I tried to keep in good terms with my half brother too. Mom asked us to get along so we could cooperate and get her home ASAP, however when it came to discussing about the procedure of getting Mom out of the Special Care hospital and back home, he didn't want to discuss it.
Anything I said was met with a deaf ear.
I said that we should pray together for her and he would give excuses like, "a lot of people are praying at his church," so he didn't even want to pray with me.
When I pleaded with him to help me get Mom home and I would care for her myself, he was obstinate as his absent father who tried to kill me as a child. That was faaar easier to handle than this. But I must admit that the traumatic experiences have resurfaced and exploded inside.

His father murdered another little brother and nearly killed my Mom in front of me as a 5 year old. His own brother, aunt and grandfather held me down as the image of that violence burned into my mind. That was Mom's second husband. My Dad was very good.
Mom's new husband tried to murder me on several occasions too. The last was when I tried to save her when she was being pounded with his fists in the parked car. It gave her the opportunity to run as he came after me.
He tried to blow my head off and felt the blast from the 12 gauge brush past my face. God miraculously protected me as He did many other times. That was a long time ago but a reminded from post traumatic stress resurfacing.

The rest of my life I devoted to training others to defend against those kind of psychopaths. That is probably my ingrained primary motivation that God used to be a protector of women, children and decent people through special training. In addition, I trained in health and fitness. There are many things that led to this, but one was so I could bless my Mom and others. A huge part of my life has been devoted to the actual true God given knowledge of health, especially through the things God created to provide it.

All of these tens of thousands of hours of training and I feel like I failed my very own Mom.

There was a time that followed a head floor nurses attempt to kill Mom. I made a surprise visit when I walked in the room and Mom was upsidedown!!!
She was on her back with Her feet up in the air and her head was down all the way in a torture position hanging from her wrists and suffocating on her tube feed she was just given before I got there. She was gurgling, suffocating on the liquid!!!
I told the Dr, the staff, the CEO of the damned place. My brother was in denial as if it didn't happen and wasn't the least upset!!!
She was doing great up until then. I thought I could just get a few medical supplies and take her home.
I can't even get a worthless cop to help his own Mother.
I think if what I could a, shoulda, woulda done.
I could barely function from lack of sleep, stress, haven't had an appetite all summer and since Mom was in the hospital. I was living off a little bit of savings and very weak.

Part 3


When I went to the hospital one morning, the Dr ignored my questions and would only speak to my brother in the room with Mom. I asked them why they would be talking about such things in front of her?? I emptied the room and told all the staff to get out of there. In the hallway, they discussed her death.
He and that sheriff's deputy had a discussion about the term end of life "comfort care." The half brother knew exactly what he was talking about. That Dr was talking about murdering our own Mother who loved us, who raised us , sacrificed, especially when the Drs told us that he would die from the Cistic Fibrosis. He had thousands of hours of special care, physical therapy we gave him 3X per day! I reminded him of that! The least she deserved was a little help to get her back on her feet again. After all she had a minor cut that the hospitals, the Drs, the surgeon, the nurses a therapist and even her very own child turned into a scheduled death sentence.
I only mentioned a few things about the entire traumatic summer. Mom went through far more than I have. The last thing that he did was agree with the Dr to kill Mom.
The next thing that happens is that Mom quits breathing. The sons of the Devil poisoned her. I told the nurse to start resuscitation and she just had cold shark eyes and that demon shook her head, NPO, NPO. Do not resuscitate. I put the oxygen to Mom and turned the oxygen up to 100% and my brother screams at me that I'm not allowed!!! and that's not going to help!!! and to quit trying to revive her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I continued and asked Mom to hold on! Take a deep breath!

The dirty cop just rebuked me and shouted commands as if I was going to respect his wicked "authority."
It took everything in me to not lash out and beat the ungodly devil out of Him. I know that my Heavenly Father will do that to them all. I will leave vengeance to Him. He is able to do what would only bring ruin to me for nothing gained.
He already did too much damage to our lives. They all did. Prayer requests from 1 to #8 above is but some of the damage . I was just focused on praying that He would bring Mom back to life with my hand in hers and head in my other hand.

May the Lord shine his face upon you and comfort you, guide you, and give and your family strength and peace.
Amen.

Psalm 18:28

I know you just heard from me in another thread (I hadn't known this was here at the time), but I must speak again. "For my mouth speaks from that which fills my heart."

You certainly are under a massive burden. The greatest burden being that of loss. It greatly saddens me that when we are going through such terrible grief, we have to face other terrible circumstances at the same time. It is too much of a burden to bear. Too harsh. Too cruel. A very dark land to walk through. The valley of the shadow of death. I'm beyond thankful we have the Lord. How could these burdens be overcome any other way? How could we walk through that valley on our own? Even in the harshest terrain of life, He is with us.

You certainly are in my thoughts, and you have my prayers daily. Reading what you have revealed to us, I feel I can relate to so much of what you've been going through. Your pain is heartbreaking and my heart feels very heavy. You are such a wonderful presence here, and I've no doubt you are in life offline as well. We mustn't be without that! Thus, I feel certain you will overcome this. We need your presence! There are times in life that it seems we can't possibly sink any lower. It's so hard to keep hope alive...indeed, even a sliver of hope becomes a relief.

When I feel that I'm surrounded by nothing but despair and it couldn't possibly get any thicker, I think of the Cave of Adullam. Life is so full of harshness, and times that change us forever.

Thank you for being open with us and allowing us to know all that you've revealed. That saying, "I talk to God about you." Well, I do! And I'm sure thankful I have tissues next to me right now. It's my heartfelt prayer that relief will be with you soon, that your burdens will be lightened soon. For the blessing of strength, comfort, and good health to endure this harsh season. I feel hopeful and I hope you do too. Thank you for the warmth you've given me. May you find warmth in this harsh time. All of love and all of warmth to you.

I've been reading through and absorbing your story for many passes now. The things you're going through are really overwhelming. I have no idea why all of those would happen to you all at the same time and with that gravity, but I'm hopeful and grateful that you held on to God. I remember Job's story.

I'm in the medical field myself, and I'm shocked to see the things they're trying to do to your mother. It really seems like they're doing them on purpose, then I remembered the Pharaoh, how his heart hardened.

I'm doing my best to pray for the specific things happening to you, but please and I'm thankful that you hold on and depend on God amidst all these.

That's an encouraging chapter.
Thank you.
Psalm 18:1-6

I have the highest respect for the honorable nurses, physicians and techs when I learn of them. I have known many nurses and come from a medical family. Cousins and Uncle, friends are and were MDs, nurses, administrators/ hospital Presidents.
Most are gone as they were older than me, but I have appreciation for them and give credit where it's due.
I certainly appreciate your concern and prayers too. I remember going over a list of links about patient rights a number of times. I shared those with my half brother too. I think that was you who shared those in the previous prayer list for my mother. I appreciate that information and learned a lot.
I took things to the hospital president.

All I know is that the Lord has truly been working to keep me alive.

Thank you so much. I really need that.

God bless you my dear friend.
That's exactly the blessing that I need for a restful sleep.

I do hope your night tonight and the nights ahead will be more restful. May things improve soon!

I just found a free e book written by a former hospice nurse that I talked with at length on the topic of end of life issues. It's a good read. Perhaps friends would like a copy too ?

Stealth Euthanasia by Nurse Ron Panzer

@HealthAndHappiness

I haven’t met you on here yet but I read this post and I want you to know that I am absorbing your pain and suffering during this season. My aunt felt the same way when my grandmother passed. It really traumatized her because grandma was living in the same home as my aunt and my aunt volunteered to take care of grandma as a hospice patient. My grandmother ended up passing a few months after that. It was some of the most emotional times between my mother and my aunt. I wasn’t really effected by it like they were cause I knew grandmas heart and knew she would be with the lord but I think I may have been effected this past year because I never processed it.

The hard part is what comes after, dividing the inheritance and fighting over who gets what. My mom and aunt were nasty toward one another during that situation. We almost got our house taken from us. My aunt put our house up for sale because she was chosen as the person to be in control of the assets. I’ve never seen someone with so much greed, that they were willing to throw their flesh and blood on the streets.

I just pray that your situation goes as smoothly as possible, and that you can have your peace of mind and joy back, knowing that you are taken care of by God.

Check out the pray.com app if you have time or are interested in checking it out. I found it has a healing effect on my mind. There are stories from the Bible podcasts on there that tell you biblical stories in a refreshing way. I use it as a coping mechanism for my suffering.

Also, if you don’t have a therapist, I HIGHLY recommend getting one during this season. You may need someone to just pour all of this out to.

I got a Christian therapist who specialized in trauma therapy a year ago after never processing tons of past trauma and after this year, I noticed a big difference in the way I handle confrontations and people in general. Learned about creating boundaries and respecting boundaries, and much more.

I don’t want to take up too much of your time. I thought I would tell you that you are not alone and you are TOP priority in my prayers.

I will look at that. I appreciate your suggestions and prayer very much.
May God bless you for being such a blessing.

HealthAndHappiness,

I'm sorry for your loss healthandhappiness. I'll pray that you get a job but in the meantime you should start a GoFundMe. I would contribute, and I'm sure your other friends would, too.

God bless you. 🥹
I spent the day looking for emergency financial help and appreciate your suggestion. I have never done that before so I am looking into it. Do you know how to do that?

I started one before its pretty easy just state what your using it for and link your bank account.

Thank you.♥️ I've hit dead ends today and can use the hope.

Check out findhelp.org