How Many Times Do You Ask God for Something? (I Know the Bible Tells Us to Keep on Asking, But Hear Me Out.)

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
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#1
Hey Everyone,

I have often asked how many times I should ask God for something, then "give up" and move on to another request -- here's why:

Do you ever feel so flooded by prayer requests that you are so overwhelmed, you don't know where one prayer should start and another should end?

The sermon today was about how we should never give up when it comes to praying. There was the usual story (I say this because of how often I've heard this in church culture) of an older family member who never gave up on praying for a younger family member that's gone astray, even when everyone else has. But finally, finally, many years later, long after everyone else had given up all hope, that young family member finally comes to Christ -- and it's mostly credited to the one who never stopped praying.

This is wonderful, of course, and something to be celebrated. And all the usual passages were given about why we should never stop asking God for something -- the story of the unjust judge, who eventually gives in because of being badgered to no end (Luke 18:1-8,); the neighbor who eventually gets up in the middle of the night to deliver what's asked of him (Luke 11:5-13); the command to pray unceasingly (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18,); and the reminder to pray for God's will above our own desires and motivations (James 4:3.)

My struggle is this:

Everyday, we are bombarded by prayer requests. Right now, the most frequent issue by far has been for a loved one who has cancer. I don't know about you, but I've lost track of how many friends, loved ones, church family members, etc. have asked for prayer regarding cancer in some way, shape, or form. And of course, the requests are also always changing -- the prayer for a miracle becomes a prayer for treatment; the prayer for treatment becomes a prayer for recovery; the prayer for recovery changes to a prayer for complete and permanent remission. (Or, it changes to one of comfort for the family -- because God has decided not to heal the person, but take them home instead.)

And so it goes with so many other prayer requests we receive or have for ourselves.

With so much to keep track of (and so little time to pray,) I have often wondered if I should just ask God a certain number of times and then move on.

For example, I've always taken inspiration from the fact that Paul asked God to remove his "thorn in the flesh" 3 times, then stopped (the answer was no,) and Jesus Himself asked 3 times that He might be spared from the cup of suffering, then also stopped (and again, the answer was no.) Did both Paul and Jesus stop because they knew God's answer after asking 3 times (would they have kept on asking,) or did they just believe that in their situation, 3 times was enough to ask?

And so, I often wonder if, for the sake of trying to keep up with so many prayer requests, I should do the same -- even when it's something I'm asking for myself.

If I'm going through a phase where as a single, I want to ask God for a husband, do I ask Him 3 times, then let it be, knowing God is working on it and I can pray for the peace to accept His answer, then move on to:

* Prayers for the many, many people I know who have or have loved ones with cancer?
* Prayers for other single people I know who are also wanting spouses?
* Prayers for the family members of people I know, who are all dealing with their own problems?
* Prayers for the parents with a sick child, or the myriad of other problems going on in their families?

And even after I've prayed all these prayers, do I dare move on to more -- or do I only stick with a few prayer requests and keep on asking indefinitely? Because what if all it takes is for someone to keep asking God that ONE MORE TIME -- and I stop praying right before I'm about to cross over the victory line?

And so the list goes on like number of stars in the sky... And I'm sure it's the same for all of you.

* How do you handle the vast numbers of prayer requests you receive -- and also have for yourself?

* How do you balance "praying without ceasing" while trying to pray for "everyone" who asks you?

* How do you prioritize your prayers -- who gets prayed for first, and how many times do you pray about that specific thing before moving on?

* In a situation that doesn't seem to be changing, how do you decide what to stop praying for (especially if the problem is ongoing,) and when you should move on to the next person or situation that needs your prayers?

* Where do you fit your own prayers for yourself? Do they come first? How do you decide when/if you should give up asking for your own situation, and pray about others instead?

I never really hear this struggle talked about and I'm pretty sure I can't be the only one who has it.

I'm looking forward to learning from others how to better streamline and utilize my prayer times for (hopefully) maximum efficiency. 🙏
 

RodB651

Well-known member
Feb 11, 2021
724
443
63
59
#2
I never really hear this struggle talked about and I'm pretty sure I can't be the only one who has it.
Yeah, I've wondered about that too.

I've sat in Sunday school classes where sometimes it seemed there was a contest to see who had the most request, or the most elaborate. By the time all the request came in, class time would be halfway finished. I try really hard not to think about it that way now.

As far as request, I bring these request up as often as I think about them. There have been many times that I've mentioned others request, but not my own. I found that my request would be answered in some way (yes, no, not now, .. and No!).

I don't think you have to mention every request every day, but bring them up as you remember them.

There are things I pray about now that honestly, I come out and say it, "Father, I'm not sure if this is something I should keep bringing to You, but until you tell me otherwise, I'll keep bringing it before You"..

I say all that to say you will have to move on from request after a while. If you don't, your prayers will get longer than you have time for.

For example, I've always taken inspiration from the fact that Paul asked God to remove his "thorn in the flesh" 3 times, then stopped (the answer was no,) and Jesus Himself asked 3 times that He might be spared from the cup of suffering, then also stopped (and again, the answer was no.) Did both Paul and Jesus stop because they knew God's answer after asking 3 times (would they have kept on asking,) or did they just believe that in their situation, 3 times was enough to ask?
I think this is a good idea. Its a place to start. There have been many times that I've received answer to prayer in three's. What I mean by that is I would get an answer / confirmation three times, and those would come pretty quick.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,577
17,045
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69
Tennessee
#3
I don't believe that there is a limit on the number of prayers to be said for a certain situation or want / need.

Paul did pray 3 times but was told by God that his grace was sufficient for Paul. Unless you are sure that God is telling you the same I don't think that God really minds how many prayers are said for a specific reason. There was a certain widow that was persistent in her request until it was actually granted by a person in a position of authority.

I understand though about being overwhelmed with prayer requests. Perhaps just simply ask God to address their particular needs without going into much detail. God surely knows all of the details anyway.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,260
9,307
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#4
Comedian quote:

Susan posted in group chat, requesting prayer for her 10 year old son. I asked what was wrong. She side texted me - started a private conversation between just the two of us - to answer, "He has tendonitis from using his ipad."

No Susan. Just no. I'm not praying for that. I don't want that prayer going before The Almighty with my name attached to it.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,260
9,307
113
#5
Personally I don't know of anything important enough for me to ask God for it over and over for years.

I'm going to die eventually and lose everything. If I get what I pray for, it will only be for as long as I live. Even praying for a terminal illness will only get a few more years. So although I may pray for something, for myself or for someone else, I don't get so vested in the request that I keep hounding God about it.

Some may think this is fatalistic, but it's just the way life is. When I came to terms with the temporary nature of just EVERYTHING I might want to pray that I get, the reason why God said all that stuff about where our priorities should be got a lot clearer.

And I find it a lot less urgent to get God to give me what I've been wanting, or what I think I've been needing.
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
7,150
2,168
113
#6
I can't get past that prayer is a conversation. As @tourist mentioned, Jesus did answer Paul, and the persistent widow's answer, initially, was 'No. Now, go away," in so many words. But she was like, "...well, I know you can do this...so...I'm just asking...again...you know, just in case you change your mind...or..."
"Ok, I said no the first-time and..."
"Yeah but..."
"No."
"Maybe later then?"
"Probably not."
"But, of course, it is possible, right?"
"My eye is twitching now..."
"I was just..."
"Ok, ok...sheesh!"

In the case of finding a husband, you could be like, "what about him?"
"No, not him"
"Alright then, how about that guy?"
No, you're not compatible, he loves mayonnaise on everything..."
"Uh, too bad, I like his hair..."
"Thanks, I designed it, Myself..."
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#7
"Alright then, how about that guy?"
No, you're not compatible, he loves mayonnaise on everything..."
"Uh, too bad, I like his hair..."
"Thanks, I designed it, Myself..."
See?

Even God thinks someone who loves mayo would be an unequal yoke for someone who... is more than a bit hesitant about mayo. :p

P.S. I recently had the opportunity to try homemade mayonnaise, and as much as I love the person who made it and so much of everything else they make... Even the homemade version was a pass for me. :sick:
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#8
I really appreciate everyone's suggestions and personal anecdotes about how to manage the great influx of prayers we all receive...

The church always says to pray, pray, pray, but no one ever talks about how overwhelming it can be, especially if we feel it was somehow our fault (that we didn't pray enough or hard enough) when something goes wrong.

I find a lot of comfort in knowing that other believers are seeking God's help in how to better balance the wonderful, but often intimidating opportunity to help so many people through prayer.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,260
9,307
113
#9
The only thing I pray for all the time is the ability to do what I need to get done.

That covers everything. Lord please make sure I can do what I need to do when I need to do it.

If I lose an arm in a freak accident, I trust God that I will not need to do anything that requires two arms anymore. If I live to be 93 I trust God wants me to do something when I am 93. I want to be able to do what God wants me to do as long as God wants me to do it, and then I want to go home without any further delay.

Whatever I gain, I trust there will be a use for it. Whatever I lose, I trust I will not need anymore.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,577
17,045
113
69
Tennessee
#10
I'm going to die eventually and lose everything. If I get what I pray for, it will only be for as long as I live. Even praying for a terminal illness will only get a few more years.
Wonder if God would give someone a terminal illness if they prayed for this? On a more serious note King Hezekiah prayed for deliverance for his terminal illness and God gave him another 15 years. Don't know how God came up with that amount, perhaps it had to do with what God expected him to, by His grace, to accomplish. A significant chunk of extra years though.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,577
17,045
113
69
Tennessee
#11
Comedian quote:

Susan posted in group chat, requesting prayer for her 10 year old son. I asked what was wrong. She side texted me - started a private conversation between just the two of us - to answer, "He has tendonitis from using his ipad."

No Susan. Just no. I'm not praying for that. I don't want that prayer going before The Almighty with my name attached to it.
Maybe say a prayer for God to take away his ipad?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#13
The only thing I pray for all the time is the ability to do what I need to get done.

That covers everything. Lord please make sure I can do what I need to do when I need to do it.

If I lose an arm in a freak accident, I trust God that I will not need to do anything that requires two arms anymore. If I live to be 93 I trust God wants me to do something when I am 93. I want to be able to do what God wants me to do as long as God wants me to do it, and then I want to go home without any further delay.

Whatever I gain, I trust there will be a use for it. Whatever I lose, I trust I will not need anymore.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this -- very helpful advice!

I like that it's very succinct and yet incredibly effective -- I'm going to start praying this today.