It was the summer of 2023. I met the person, who I thought God wanted me to be with forever. Her name was Korey. She moved into my neighborhood, that summer. At first, I just saw her as someone who was not worth being around. It was June 10th when I had my first interaction. She came to my house to play with my sister Grace. Korey was swimming in our pool. She got out and was drying off. She asked my sister a quotation “Hey Grace do you play any instruments?? My sister told her “No. I tried learning piano but my teacher said I don’t have the patience for it.”
“Oh. You should try again. I know the Guitar and saxophone. Wanna jump on your guy's trampoline??” Korey told her.
“Sure” Grace yelled. She walked off and went to the trampoline.
My sister asked, “What do you think about her?” Is she hot? This was a normal question from her mouth. I answered her question, “I mean, she has an okay personality. She seemed outgoing, down to earth, and very forgiving. She seems like a good person. I would say she is pretty—just not my type.”
So I went inside. Then I went about my day, using my Sonic toys, and Banging my head to some sick Skillet. It's the album Dominion: Day of Destiny, I think.
A few days went by and I saw Korey and Grace hanging out again. After Grace asked me the question “Did I think Korey was hot” I started seeing Korey as attractive. I was skateboarding and was Shy. It’s like when you have a crush on someone, and you're scared to be around them That’s how I was.
I walked into my yard just to see Korey’s face. I did this 2-5 times until my gut told me to stop. I continued to skateboard, thinking about her.
My dad called me and said it was time to clean the house. I did so, but I did not want to. I wanted to be outside forever, just to see Korey. I cleaned my room and cleaned everything I had to. I walked up to my Grace and told her Okay! Okay, Korey, she is pretty fine.” Grace smiled. Grace told me “Korey also said she thinks you cute” This shocked me. I never had someone think I was cute. This turned my love on even more.
The next day was Saturday, I was inside all day, but I could not see her, because she did not come. Later Sunday happened. It was the same except I went to church. Monday came, and during the summer I did this camp for Taekwondo. I was a Staff member. It was kinda fun.
I went home and went straight to skateboarding, I skated for about 4 hours. I went down her Street, TONS of times, trying to get her attention. I didn’t She came up and asked for my sister. I agreed. I went and my sister said she was busy, so that’s what I told her. Korey said, “Thanks, Steven.” I said no problem. She walked back to her house, and a week or so went. It was Wednesday, and she came over again and asked if she could hang out with Grace, they hung out, and after like 20 minutes, she went home to put on her bathing suit, my sister “Forced me to hang out with them” so I did. A week went by and I was fine being around Korey. Whenever she came over I got nervous.
A few weeks later, I had to go to a camp called MFUGE, it was fun I met a crew. But I felt depressed the entire time. I missed Korey so much. I prayed every night that God would bless Korey. After I went home from MFUGE, she left for a camp. So I have not seen her for 3 weeks. With someone like me, whose entire social Calander, his love, my everything was arranged for this person was so affected. I tried texting her, but she did not respond. I was so depressed, but she came home, and I was happy. I hung out with her just me and her. My parents were not home, they were at dinner with the worship pastor at my church.
We talked about her camp and my camp. Both sounded fun. I told her I was trying to learn how to play the guitar. She asked if I could bring it out and I agreed. So, I brought it out, and she inspected it and played it a little. We hung out some more, she left to go get water, and I hit a tree to see if she would notice me. She came back like 6 min later, but she did not see it. And she asked, “Where’s Steven??”
“Up here” I yelled
She claimed the tree with me. And we were in it for about 10-15 minutes.
My love for this woman was growing every second I knew her. Every time I was with her, I felt so happy so free, so peaceful. I loved Korey so much. I hung out with her a few times by myself after this. I asked my sister why don’t you hang out with Korey anymore/?? She told me it’s because every time we just stare at each other. And it's kinda weird for her.
Times and weeks went by, I hung out with Korey a lot. My love grew so big. She was my idol. I wanted to be more than friends. So I tried doing something to see if it would work. Screenshot out text messages, and edited them to make it where Korey said “Steven I love you” and I told her the same. “Korey I love you too” It went around my whole house new about it. So Korey came to hang out one time and my 2 younger sisters (not Grace) told her. I hated myself so much. The news was told to her, she knew, and now my life turned to hell. I was in my cul-de-sac, playing the Skillet album, Dominion. I was on the song Dominion. (I love this album this or Unleashed are my favorite) Like 20-30 minutes later, she asked if she could hang out with me. I didn’t want to, I was so upset, so worried. I did though out of my love for her. So I went on the trampoline, sat and we talked, I opened my text, and it said hey Steven, uh I know this is kinda a weird question but I was wondering why you photoshopped pictures of me texting you that I loved you. Your sisters mentioned it because they thought it was real. I told her, it was. We had a conversation about it. She said “I'm not like mad or anything it just kind of made me worried and I wanted to ask you”
I knew it was over. She said she wanted to stay friends. My worry left.
Weeks went by since we talked about that. I asked her if we were still friends and she said She was not safe being around me but we could talk via text. I was kind of fine with that.
Another few weeks went by and I emailed her, saying I wanted to hang out with her, and I miss her. I want her to be happy and I care for her.
She blocked me.
What??
My heart felt like it was ripped into a million pieces. I was so upset. I emailed her asking why she blocked me, and she asked me not to contact her again.
My heart cried, I was so sad. I still kind of am. I miss her. But God has me. Who knows we might become friends again.
I felt all I had left was….. wait for it……. Nothing. That right. God was not with me, or my family I didn’t care. I talked to my therapist about this, and it kinda helped. But my heart was in a million pieces. I was so upset, I sat in my room and was sad. I was so depressed.
God pulled me out of this darkness, with Music. and his love.
“Oh. You should try again. I know the Guitar and saxophone. Wanna jump on your guy's trampoline??” Korey told her.
“Sure” Grace yelled. She walked off and went to the trampoline.
My sister asked, “What do you think about her?” Is she hot? This was a normal question from her mouth. I answered her question, “I mean, she has an okay personality. She seemed outgoing, down to earth, and very forgiving. She seems like a good person. I would say she is pretty—just not my type.”
So I went inside. Then I went about my day, using my Sonic toys, and Banging my head to some sick Skillet. It's the album Dominion: Day of Destiny, I think.
A few days went by and I saw Korey and Grace hanging out again. After Grace asked me the question “Did I think Korey was hot” I started seeing Korey as attractive. I was skateboarding and was Shy. It’s like when you have a crush on someone, and you're scared to be around them That’s how I was.
I walked into my yard just to see Korey’s face. I did this 2-5 times until my gut told me to stop. I continued to skateboard, thinking about her.
My dad called me and said it was time to clean the house. I did so, but I did not want to. I wanted to be outside forever, just to see Korey. I cleaned my room and cleaned everything I had to. I walked up to my Grace and told her Okay! Okay, Korey, she is pretty fine.” Grace smiled. Grace told me “Korey also said she thinks you cute” This shocked me. I never had someone think I was cute. This turned my love on even more.
The next day was Saturday, I was inside all day, but I could not see her, because she did not come. Later Sunday happened. It was the same except I went to church. Monday came, and during the summer I did this camp for Taekwondo. I was a Staff member. It was kinda fun.
I went home and went straight to skateboarding, I skated for about 4 hours. I went down her Street, TONS of times, trying to get her attention. I didn’t She came up and asked for my sister. I agreed. I went and my sister said she was busy, so that’s what I told her. Korey said, “Thanks, Steven.” I said no problem. She walked back to her house, and a week or so went. It was Wednesday, and she came over again and asked if she could hang out with Grace, they hung out, and after like 20 minutes, she went home to put on her bathing suit, my sister “Forced me to hang out with them” so I did. A week went by and I was fine being around Korey. Whenever she came over I got nervous.
A few weeks later, I had to go to a camp called MFUGE, it was fun I met a crew. But I felt depressed the entire time. I missed Korey so much. I prayed every night that God would bless Korey. After I went home from MFUGE, she left for a camp. So I have not seen her for 3 weeks. With someone like me, whose entire social Calander, his love, my everything was arranged for this person was so affected. I tried texting her, but she did not respond. I was so depressed, but she came home, and I was happy. I hung out with her just me and her. My parents were not home, they were at dinner with the worship pastor at my church.
We talked about her camp and my camp. Both sounded fun. I told her I was trying to learn how to play the guitar. She asked if I could bring it out and I agreed. So, I brought it out, and she inspected it and played it a little. We hung out some more, she left to go get water, and I hit a tree to see if she would notice me. She came back like 6 min later, but she did not see it. And she asked, “Where’s Steven??”
“Up here” I yelled
She claimed the tree with me. And we were in it for about 10-15 minutes.
My love for this woman was growing every second I knew her. Every time I was with her, I felt so happy so free, so peaceful. I loved Korey so much. I hung out with her a few times by myself after this. I asked my sister why don’t you hang out with Korey anymore/?? She told me it’s because every time we just stare at each other. And it's kinda weird for her.
Times and weeks went by, I hung out with Korey a lot. My love grew so big. She was my idol. I wanted to be more than friends. So I tried doing something to see if it would work. Screenshot out text messages, and edited them to make it where Korey said “Steven I love you” and I told her the same. “Korey I love you too” It went around my whole house new about it. So Korey came to hang out one time and my 2 younger sisters (not Grace) told her. I hated myself so much. The news was told to her, she knew, and now my life turned to hell. I was in my cul-de-sac, playing the Skillet album, Dominion. I was on the song Dominion. (I love this album this or Unleashed are my favorite) Like 20-30 minutes later, she asked if she could hang out with me. I didn’t want to, I was so upset, so worried. I did though out of my love for her. So I went on the trampoline, sat and we talked, I opened my text, and it said hey Steven, uh I know this is kinda a weird question but I was wondering why you photoshopped pictures of me texting you that I loved you. Your sisters mentioned it because they thought it was real. I told her, it was. We had a conversation about it. She said “I'm not like mad or anything it just kind of made me worried and I wanted to ask you”
I knew it was over. She said she wanted to stay friends. My worry left.
Weeks went by since we talked about that. I asked her if we were still friends and she said She was not safe being around me but we could talk via text. I was kind of fine with that.
Another few weeks went by and I emailed her, saying I wanted to hang out with her, and I miss her. I want her to be happy and I care for her.
She blocked me.
What??
My heart felt like it was ripped into a million pieces. I was so upset. I emailed her asking why she blocked me, and she asked me not to contact her again.
My heart cried, I was so sad. I still kind of am. I miss her. But God has me. Who knows we might become friends again.
I felt all I had left was….. wait for it……. Nothing. That right. God was not with me, or my family I didn’t care. I talked to my therapist about this, and it kinda helped. But my heart was in a million pieces. I was so upset, I sat in my room and was sad. I was so depressed.
God pulled me out of this darkness, with Music. and his love.
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