can you guys post something funny please?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Fillan

Well-known member
Oct 25, 2022
392
409
63
45
A man went into a department store and asked the assistant:

'Do you know where I can get a toupee?'

The assistant replied 'Not off the top of my head Sir!'

:)
 

Fillan

Well-known member
Oct 25, 2022
392
409
63
45
Smoking may harm you
Eating bacon may harm you
But smoking bacon will cure it

:)
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,188
1,576
113
68
Brighton, MI
I had a good class in Agricultural Economics in College. That rings so true. In WV, the small family farms are a thing of the past. China, Monsanto, real estate developers and Bill Gates has bought up over 90% of the farm land in a few decades. The state and federal government owns over half of the land in the USA . Most planks of the communist agenda has been nearly fulfilled. It's good to know that you have learned about that. I think they want everyone to be completely dependent upon them for survival and enslave what's left of humanity after the Great Reset they constantly talk about.

When I was in highschool, I read books about various governments including the evils of Communism and the Soviet Union's propaganda. It helped with discernment. I discovered that all the TV stations sounded the same, covered the same stories and we're all biased.

The most important source by far about liberties, like those recognized by the Bill of Rights, is the Bible. Without the thoughts of God on each topic, we are left to our own limited thoughts influenced by those we are exposed to. There are still things that I change my mind about/ repent as I read God's Word. That is liberating to be told what to believe by the One Who knows it all. 🙂📖

Romans 12:2
An American, a Czech, and a Soviet agreed to meet. The Czech was late.

"Sorry for being so late," the Czech said, "I was waiting in line to buy some meat."

"What is a line?" the American asked.

"What is meat?" the Soviet asked.

 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,188
1,576
113
68
Brighton, MI
A Soviet boy was was talking to his dad and asked:

"Dad, can I borrow the car keys?"

"Sure" the dad replies, "but don't lose them. We don't get the car for another 7 years."


The Communists’ long term goals to infiltrate the USA were established decades ago. On Jan. 10, 1963, a list of 45 communist goals was read into the Congressional Record Appendix, pp. A34-A35.

Some of the communist goals included:

4. Permit trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation.

7. Grant recognition of Red China.

15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the U.S.

17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers’ associations.

20. Infiltrate the press.

22. Continue discrediting American culture.

25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio and TV.

28. Eliminate prayer or any form of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of “separation of church and state.”

29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs.

30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers.

31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history.

32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture.

36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.

37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.

38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from police to social agencies.

40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.

41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents.

42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition.

Look up the rest of the list see how many more have come to pass.

Over the years, Communist regimes have been responsible for over 100,000,000 deaths killing political opposition and citizens that dare to speak out against their tyrannical authoritarian rule.

According to a recent study by the Victims of Communism Memorial Foundation, nearly 40 percent of Americans 16-40 believe the Communist Manifesto guarantees freedom more than the Declaration of Independence.

Where did the younger generations learn this?

John R. Davis
https://www.newsandsentinel.com/opi.../08/have-the-communists-achieved-their-goals/
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,188
1,576
113
68
Brighton, MI
https://www.ethanallen.org/45_communist_goals_from_58_years_ago

Q: How did the Soviet Union plan to land men on the Sun?

A: They'd go at night.

In a Soviet classroom, an elementary school teacher was talking about the greatness of Lenin. She asks the students "now, children, how many of you have portraits of Lenin on your walls?"

All of the children but one raise their hand.

The teacher asks again, "how many of you have portraits of Lenin on your walls?"

Again, all of the children but one raise their hand.

The teacher then asks the one child "how come you do not have a portrait of Lenin on your wall?"

The little boy replies "our family sleeps in the middle of the room."

https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/favorite-communist-jokes.90927/
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,265
4,302
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
A Soviet boy was was talking to his dad and asked:

"Dad, can I borrow the car keys?"

"Sure" the dad replies, "but don't lose them. We don't get the car for another 7 years."


The Communists’ long term goals to infiltrate the USA were established decades ago. On Jan. 10, 1963, a list of 45 communist goals was read into the Congressional Record Appendix, pp. A34-A35.

Some of the communist goals included:

4. Permit trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation.

7. Grant recognition of Red China.

15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the U.S.

17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers’ associations.

20. Infiltrate the press.

22. Continue discrediting American culture.

25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio and TV.

28. Eliminate prayer or any form of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of “separation of church and state.”

29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs.

30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers.

31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history.

32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture.

36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.

37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.

38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from police to social agencies.

40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.

41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents.

42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition.

Look up the rest of the list see how many more have come to pass.

Over the years, Communist regimes have been responsible for over 100,000,000 deaths killing political opposition and citizens that dare to speak out against their tyrannical authoritarian rule.

According to a recent study by the Victims of Communism Memorial Foundation, nearly 40 percent of Americans 16-40 believe the Communist Manifesto guarantees freedom more than the Declaration of Independence.

Where did the younger generations learn this?

John R. Davis
https://www.newsandsentinel.com/opi.../08/have-the-communists-achieved-their-goals/

That's something every American should refresh their memories with from time to time, especially before every election.

I gave my nephew a vintage first edition book I read on my own in highschool on Communism by J Edgar Hoover. I'm not a fan of forcing biometric identification on every American as he was, nor a few other related issues. However, he wrote the text book on the subject of Communism at the time and I have seen the John Birch Society books as good resources too.

I am sceptical as to whether America with go back to practicing the Bible based viewpoints and Republican form of gt that they used to. Perhaps the trend towards full blown Marxism will be reversed somewhat, with the Lord's help of course.
Parents, grandparents and preachers will be the leaders if it's going to happen though.
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,265
4,302
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
https://www.ethanallen.org/45_communist_goals_from_58_years_ago

Q: How did the Soviet Union plan to land men on the Sun?

A: They'd go at night.

In a Soviet classroom, an elementary school teacher was talking about the greatness of Lenin. She asks the students "now, children, how many of you have portraits of Lenin on your walls?"

All of the children but one raise their hand.

The teacher asks again, "how many of you have portraits of Lenin on your walls?"

Again, all of the children but one raise their hand.

The teacher then asks the one child "how come you do not have a portrait of Lenin on your wall?"

The little boy replies "our family sleeps in the middle of the room."

https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/favorite-communist-jokes.90927/

The race to space had both Soviets and NASA researching ways to write without gravity. Hundreds of millions of dollars of research went into the invention of the ball point space pen that did not require gravity, just a pressurized ink cartridge to work .
The Soviets invested zero into that and decided on a pencil.
 

CarriePie

Well-known member
Jan 7, 2024
1,647
1,104
113
Oklahoma
Not my pic, but this really is a sign not far from where I live that I've passed by a few times (in the next county over near a prison).

Screenshot 2024-09-11 at 23-29-28 Spotted in rural Oklahoma. How often do they escape r_funny.png
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,278
9,329
113
The race to space had both Soviets and NASA researching ways to write without gravity. Hundreds of millions of dollars of research went into the invention of the ball point space pen that did not require gravity, just a pressurized ink cartridge to work .
The Soviets invested zero into that and decided on a pencil.
That's actually not true.

A guy went out on his own and invented a pen that would write on anything, under any conditions, purportedly because he wanted NASA to use it. NASA didn't ask him to do this.
 

ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
4,770
2,055
113
During a church service, the priest asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Susie stood and walked to the podium.

She said, “Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was crushed.”

There was a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation.

“Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and they were able to reconstruct the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum, using wire to reinforce and shape it.”
The men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably.

“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with relief.

The priest rose and asked if anyone else had something to say.


A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Phil.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”