Why can’t I keep my big mouth shut?

Have any of you a problem with a big mouth speaking its mind whether it’s appropriate or not?

How can I stop being a loudmouth? It’s like I have to say out loud whatever is on my mind.

I ain't sayin nothin.

I think James provides the answer; "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." ( James 1:19 )

In short - if we listen more, we speak less.

Great thread, btw.

There is a lot of wisdom in Proverbs regarding restraining the tongue. Actually, I find that saying out loud what is on one's mind is refreshing. It cuts to the chase for sure.

There is a Proverb that makes mention of that. Just saying...

I feel your pain, Susanna.

This is one of the reasons why I love writing vs. speaking... Writing slows me down and makes me have to think more about what I'm saying, though I still wind up saying a lot.

In person, I don't say nearly as much because I don't have time to think about the structure, wording, etc. Ironically though, I'm often drawn to people who have a lot fewer real-life filters, lol.

I guess we all do the best we can. I know the biggest lessons that have taught me to hold back are when I really messed up and there were repercussions I deeply took to heart (hurting someone I admired, etc.)

About the only thing that saves me is that I pray a lot and try my best to make an earnest effort to change if/when God convicts me or if/when the consequences are enough to make me think twice.

LOVE your threads! Please keep posting them!

no, i do not have that issue. i have a feeling you are a smart woman. that's what your comments tell me. understanding is the interpretation of facts, knowledge is the possession of facts & wisdom is the application of facts. condition yourself to diagram this in your communication with people. don't rush to speak. use the old latin lesson: STOP, LOOK & LISTEN!!! (Psalm 29:11). let Jesus handle the grief you experience. you can do this susanna.

I struggle with that some in real life, not as much on the forums because I have more time to think about what I want to say; I often wait a few hours or even days if I'm considering posting something contentious. I try to hold back offline as well but don't always have the luxury. Stress tends to limit my filter as well.

Prayer helps though! I often start the day asking God to help me say what He wants me to say, and do what He wants me to do.

Another thing I try to remember is that my comments can be 100% correct and still 0% helpful. Sometimes there are more important things than being "right". Proverbs 15:23 is a good verse: A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!

Proverbs 10:19

When words are many, sin is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.

This has truly helped me because this year I was aware that I was not taking thought to my words once my mouth opened and spoke what was on my mind...I did pray and ask the Lord to help me in this area ...Our flesh has so much to say , but it is not always good...
You are not on your own sister Suzanna

i assent with asking the Holy Spirit to assist on what to say. that's quite neat.

James 3:2 (NIV):
We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect,

James 3:8 (NIV)
but no human being can tame the tongue.

Thanks! I recommend this practice for all believers and have had some great conversations as a result.

Funny thing though.....when I pray for guidance in conversations, I end up saying stuff a bit more random or cheeky than I would normally. So apparently my problem is more holding back what I ought to say, rather than popping out things I shouldn't lol

I'm almost certain that people really don't see me but see Jesus. I say the awfullest things which, eventually, are often get quoted back to me but attributed to someone else.

Every time I see this thread on the main page, I think of that old Josh Wilson song.




A wise man hears before he speaks
He knows he doesn't know everything
I wish that sounded more like me
But I've got so far to go...

Some of them are here (<= link!) .

Soft answers turn away wrath. Make a list of soft words and begin sentences with them.

When I was a supervisor, I had one manager who always complained about employees. One day I stopped him in the middle of a complaint, and told him I would only listen to his complaints if he first told me something good about the person first. Last complaint I got.
As a manager I read a book called The One Minute Manager. The gist of the book was to look for employees doing things right and complimenting them for it. In this way, positive behavior is rewarded and employees will do well in order to be complimented. Much better for morale when people look forward to rewards than uncomplimentary disputation.

Proverbs 16:7!!!

What makes me sad that this manager apparently could not find even one good thing to say about anyone else there.

Awesome job on your part, Cameron!

I can't remember if it was in a class, seminar, or just a discussion, but somewhere along the line, I picked up the term, "compliment sandwich." The idea was that when you had to confront someone about something negative (often in a work setting,) start by complimenting something the person does well, then talk to them about the issue of concern.

But when the conversation ends, try to emphasize yet another point they are succeeding at -- and if possible, something different from the one pointed out before.

This is something I try to do in everyday life.

Though I do find it very hard to utilize on people who never see anything good in anyone else, or always see others as being below them.