Ok, I'm a Karen, but...

So I'm admitting that I am, somewhat, of a Karen. I guess it depends on what your definition of "Karen" is. Here's one soft example of what I mean.
My sister and her boys were visiting so we took everyone out to a nice restaurant by the water. Granted it was busy so we knew we were going to have a wait. But it seemed to me that people that were buying alcohol were getting served faster. I get they make more money off those customers. So we waited what I felt was an appropriate amount of time and then I stopped our waitress and asked about our food. She went inside and came back with the food for my table but not for my sisters table, which sat her, her husband, my nephew and his friend. So I overheard my nephews friend say "Karen" and I turned and said " Yes my dear, but I have a full stomach, and you do not!"

My family says I get the "golden ticket" and sometimes I do. I'm not nasty, I don't complain over every little detail, I don't put hair in my food. But as I tell my husband, who would almost be dead before he complained, we lost customer service because people didn't want to seem like complainers. But there is a time to complain I believe, although I'm not sure that's the right word. I feel like if I'm spending my hard earned money at your place of business, I expect a certain standard. I have written of bad experiences online, and I have called stores and managers. I'm always polite, but very direct. Yes, I have gotten several golden tickets, but I don't do it for that reason. I feel like a company needs to know if their business isn't being handled properly and service is poor and I'm giving them a chance to correct it. I've done this for different reasons, it may be a restaurant, a hotel room, a policy issue. Most people working do not even know what the company policy is. I feel like I'm being helpful. I have several stories about how a positive change came from speaking up.

Ok, so is anyone with me? Do you have a Karen in you? Or are you the type that would never complain. I don't feel like I'm wrong, though I'm sure someone here will say I am. If so, explain why you think so. Do you think it's ok to speak up in a polite manner if the food or service is bad, or would stay quiet and just put up with it? I'm interested to know.

You should be made to feel you are as big a cheese as the tippiest big tipper in regard to consideration of priority. Where's my drink!? (hic).

I wouldn’t classify that as being a Karen.

The hallmark of Karens are that they DONT mind their OWN business!

Like the Karen mask Nazis, or homeowners association members constantly sticking their noses in other people’s business.

But I can tell you, Karens aren’t limited to females!

You know my husband is a big tipper when we are able to do so. More than I would have given most times. He asks me before he gives. We were on holiday once and he was going to give a large tip, there were three of us. I have never been a bad tipper but he always gives more. So he asked if he should give what he wanted to give or less. And I said "If you feel led to give that amount, give it. God has blessed us to bless others." Often now he doesn't ask me because he knows that's what I will say. We aren't rich by a long shot, but we are blessed. Often people are surprised by the amount he gives, and I leave that up to him. He gave our hairdresser a tip and we left and she got my mother to call us, she's a friend of Mom's, to say we over paid her. I told Mom to tell her it wasn't a mistake. I heard her say " Praise the Lord, He does answer prayer!" She was really thankful. I had assumed that she and her hubby were well off. They own apartments and I just thought they were ok, but for some reason she was in need. I have been there and I try to listen to God's voice and help when I can and know that He will meet my need later.

Let's start with the fact that Karen means 'Pure.' This is very appropriate because the world's attack on so-called Karens is often an attack on those seeking for purity in the world.

Second, used as a negative, this word is essentially a racist, sexist, and classist slur because it is associated with well off, white women. Funny how the hyper-vigilant, anti-discrimination segment of society has been surprisingly silent on this, but feel the spirit of how it is used.

That use would be to silence those with the courage to speak up. It is similar to how African Americans got called 'uppity' if they tried to assert their rights. In fact, I suspect that the rise in usage of this term may be a targeted satanic attack on certain being types of those God has created. For example, the world doesn't like prophets because they are God's mouthpieces for correction. (Full disclosure: I am one, but that is also why I get it.)

Along those same lines, let's remember that this is also a given name of many ladies alive today. I personally know of a little girl named Karen that God spoke of by name a full generation before she was born. Right when she was born was when this slur started gaining traction, and I have a suspicion that the timing isn't a coincidence, though I don't know the exact significance. She is in fact a strong personality that likely will have the courage to speak up, and the world, and likely the dark spiritual world, have already worked to stack the deck against her by her very name.

Personally, I refuse to use this name as an insult, and perhaps we should come to take it as a badge of honor, just like we did with the phrase "Jesus freak." Or maybe better yet, we should just ignore it; God has said prophetically that fighting deception is itself deception.

For the record, it is interesting that I find this, this week because I had a full day of such encounters on Monday. Just before the end, I just wanted to hide from the world, only to have a lady cut in line at the grocery store when I thought maybe I was close to achieving that. Now, I dealt with each encounter with assertiveness and love the best I could, but I still felt emotional pain from all the encounters that made me doubt myself and my own purity.

When I took this to God and my elder roommate when I got home, however, the take away wasn't that I should have done something better, but that I needed to better trust God and I as a team to be speaking what was needed. (I am clearly in the voices branch of callings, which should have been a clue.) It thus makes perfect since that Satan would want to discredit what God is doing with us by inventing a term to dishonor it. Don't fall for it.

the pejorative useage of "Karen" applies to ANYONE, male or female, black, white, tan, olive, whatever..... it identifies anyone that takes it upon themselves to "police" others, and their behavior.. I've seen quite a few male "Karens"....

it's not just about middle aged white women. Check out the multitude of utube videos of "Karens" in action.... the behavior of some people is simply dumbfounding...

Complaining is like everything else of its kind: It has a time and place, some don't do it because they are shy or don't want to inconvenience people and some overuse it to get their way.

Where "time and place" is depends on who you ask, and (with those who use it correctly) it can shift depending on many circumstances. Maybe I could have complained but I know the cook at this restaurant and he's been going through a rocky divorce. Maybe I could have let this slide but this waiter has been rude before, to me and other tables when I have been there.

So my answer is no real definitive answer, but that's life for ya.

Okay I have two other things to say.

I may not complain sometimes when I should. I tried this asian buffet, getting a take-out tray. They weighed it and charged me more than $20 for one tray... In west Tennessee... But I quietly paid it, left, and NEVER went back. I didn't see any point making a big fuss. I just don't go back to the places I don't like.

The second thing is one I think of a lot when other employees at my job are complaining a lot. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but it's also the first one to be replaced as soon as you can afford it." Especially if applying some grease didn't stop the squeaking.

It seems the name is often applied to people who mind other people's business for them and if I'm not mistaken, didn't that start with some tv program? some reality show I think?

And of course people who make a federal case out of things.

I don't think a legitimate complaint makes a person a Karen. As long as you don't go postal

Yes, as I said, it's not something I do often. I've walked away from a lot of situations. But there are times I think it's ok to politely speak up. I know some people do it just to get free food and I don't misuse it like that. Also, if the service is good I go out of my way to say so and even online.

When hubby and I first got married I agreed to getting a cat. I'm a dog lover, never had cats. Either way we went to our local Petco and adopted a kitten. We bought all the items that go along with having a furball. My nephews were just kids then and they loved the kitten of course. After the weekend was over and my nephews had gone home I got a call from the pet store. They said in a message that they needed the cat back right away! So I called and they said that the kitten had been pre-sold online and they needed the cat back asap. My nephews live two hrs or so away from me. I said to them " You'll get the cat back, but it has torn up my nephews. But if this were my children, you would not be getting the animal back. Horrible business practice that you don't know what has been adopted." I wrote them online also.

A few weeks later after I had forgotten it I got a call asking for "Mrs". I wondered what trouble I was in now. lol I said I was she. And the lady said she was head of the company of the pet store. She said that she had read my post and looked into the situation. She said " I personally wanted you to know we have changed our adoption practices, based on your case, for the entire country" she said if I wanted to adopt again that they would cover the costs. That's just something small but I say to people all the time, don't let anyone fool you into thinking one person can't make a difference. Speaking up is important. Sometimes I wish I had understood this in my younger years. Perhaps I could have had a business that helped people that needed help.

Sister, please don't worry: From what I've read here, I really don't think you're a KAREN!

Complaining in and of itself (if righteous) isn't what makes you a karen, Karen.

It sounds like your hairdresser serves for the right reasons, for the sake of service and the tip is the bonus rather than the measure of the goal, and the golden ticket is meant to be a bridge to repair the gap if that goal has been met. The goal should be to graciously meet the need of the client, not place the bigger tippers ahead of others in a line of priority. The latter comes pretty close to accepting a bribe, if it isn't actually.

many years ago, i took my mom out to eat. we had our meal, food was fine, but the server never came back with the bill. we sat there for almost a half hour. the manger came by, asked how things were, and we told him what happened. he apologized , gave us half off our bill.

so, what you did was no big deal. oh, and the server never did come back...

The early meaning of a Karen was a complainer. The "I need to speak to your manager" types. It tended to revolve around stores and restaurants. And the service wasn't always necessarily bad, just that a Karen always complained. Of course bad service has a level of subjectivity to it.
What's labeled as a Karen now is so broad it's kind of lost it's meaning in my opinion.

I think not complaining in restaurants is more prevelant because fear of repercussions coming from the server. No one wants to risk anything done to their food.
Also many likely feel complaining doesn't get results. And to a degree that's true. I've worked in restaurants and retail and unless a person gets regular complaints all they really do is speak to the person, ask their side and maybe get told to do better. Or sometimes the customer is seen as the problem and the entire thing is dismissed. Even if it seems the complaint landed, that doesn't mean they side with you. It just means they're appeasing you to get you out of their hair.

Yeah, I never complain in a restaurant. And mainly I feel bad food isn't the servers fault. And if I server is really bad it's also not their fault. That's up to the manager to either take more time training or put them at another task they might handle better. If I have an issue that I think is worth taking up, I write the company online.

It depends really to me the amount of money spent whether I would consider saying something about it. We stayed at a motel that was fairly cheap last weekend. The bathroom sink was literally glued together somehow, someone had smashed it but good. And the shower had a chunk that had been glued back. The carpet was from the 70s. It was decently clean. But for the money spent I felt it was clean enough and workable. In fact we stayed a second night. If the issue is approached in the right manner, I think it's ok to speak up.

There is a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. There is nothing wrong with getting what you pay for, and service is part of that. I don't know what the male equivalent of a "Karen" is, but I could be described that way. You don't have to be rude. I was totally introverted for a long time. I would rather have left the restaurant than say anything. Not any more. The squeaky wheel does get the grease. Maybe not at work. A wheel can also be replaced..........

Is a "Karen" a complainer? I thought it was something different. Either way, it hardly sounds like you needlessly complained. That would annoy me too, and I used to be a waiter.

I had no idea "Karen" was even a thing, geesssh

Excerpt

The company didn't pick out the name Karen at random. "Karen" has, in recent years, become a widespread meme referencing a specific type of middle-class white woman, who exhibits behaviours that stem from privilege.
To give some examples, "Karen" is associated with the kind of person who demands to "speak to the manager" in order to belittle service industry workers, is anti-vaccination, and carries out racist micro-aggressions, such as asking to touch black people's hair.
But a predominant feature of the "Karen" stereotype is that they weaponise their relative privilege against people of colour - for example, when making police complaints against black people for minor or even - in numerous cases - fictitious infringements.

Here
What exactly is a 'Karen' and where did the meme come from? - BBC