Christian Parents and GrandParents - How Do You Handle Birthday Parties? (Do You Invite Everyone?)

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#1
May 23, 2009
16,440
5,387
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

I had a conversation with some Christian friends once about birthday parties for children, and one perspective was that "everyone should be invited so that no one is left out."

This viewpoint was kind of presented as just being the Christian thing to do -- because not inviting a classmate or family member might be seen as unloving, favoritism, and exclusion -- which some felt goes against Christian teachings.

I also understand that nowadays, it seems socially expected to invite absolutely everyone.

BUT, how realistic is this? How many parents can afford to throw parties for their kids that include everyone in the class, and/or all their friends and neighbors?

I'm from a smaller family who doesn't really make a big deal out of birthdays, so I was wondering how other Christian families handle this.

* When your child has a birthday party, how do you decide who gets invited? How many people do you invite?

* If you can only invite X amount of people, how do you decide who does and doesn't make the cut?

* Do you get complaints from those not invited (classmates, neighbors, relatives, etc.)? How do you respond?

* Do the people who criticize you invite everyone to their parties, or are they hypocritical?

I'm putting this here in Miscellaneous rather than just the Family section in the hopes of reaching a wider audience (families, single parents, those helping to raise young ones, etc.) If you don't have a family, tell us what your birthday parties were like and/or how you see them organized around you.

I know it may seem like a trivial subject, but not having children myself, I'm genuinely interested in how Christian families approach this.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!
 
Susanna

Susanna

Well-known member
#2
Apr 14, 2023
1,599
520
113
48
Galveston and Houston
#2
I was widowed when my daughter was very young. Unfortunately, already at that point I was spending too much time elsewhere. So, basically she was raised by my mother. Lucky for her. Being raised by me would have made her unhappy. Also I was/am a restless soul who has to be in the middle of the action. My mother is not. She enjoys throwing parties and stuff so my daughter used to invite all of her friends to her birthday parties. Not the entire class, though.
 
R

RodB651

Well-known member
#3
Feb 11, 2021
724
443
63
59
#3
seoulsearch said:
If you can only invite X amount of people, how do you decide who does and doesn't make the cut?
Click to expand...
Birthday parties were so long ago... 🤷

My kids are all grown now (one is sixteen so he has a couple years to go). Back when they had parties, they were small. Only a few family and friends were invited. When we celebrate their birthdays now, its just their mom, siblings, and myself. They usually do something else with their friends later.
 
timemeddler

timemeddler

Active member
#4
Jul 13, 2023
449
201
43
#4
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

I had a conversation with some Christian friends once about birthday parties for children, and one perspective was that "everyone should be invited so that no one is left out."

This viewpoint was kind of presented as just being the Christian thing to do -- because not inviting a classmate or family member might be seen as unloving, favoritism, and exclusion -- which some felt goes against Christian teachings.

I also understand that nowadays, it seems socially expected to invite absolutely everyone.

BUT, how realistic is this? How many parents can afford to throw parties for their kids that include everyone in the class, and/or all their friends and neighbors?

I'm from a smaller family who doesn't really make a big deal out of birthdays, so I was wondering how other Christian families handle this.

* When your child has a birthday party, how do you decide who gets invited? How many people do you invite?

* If you can only invite X amount of people, how do you decide who does and doesn't make the cut?

* Do you get complaints from those not invited (classmates, neighbors, relatives, etc.)? How do you respond?

* Do the people who criticize you invite everyone to their parties, or are they hypocritical?

I'm putting this here in Miscellaneous rather than just the Family section in the hopes of reaching a wider audience (families, single parents, those helping to raise young ones, etc.) If you don't have a family, tell us what your birthday parties were like and/or how you see them organized around you.

I know it may seem like a trivial subject, but not having children myself, I'm genuinely interested in how Christian families approach this.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!
Click to expand...
that person is a fool.
 
B

blueluna5

Well-known member
#5
Jul 30, 2018
652
390
63
#5
seoulsearch said:
Hey Everyone,

I had a conversation with some Christian friends once about birthday parties for children, and one perspective was that "everyone should be invited so that no one is left out."

This viewpoint was kind of presented as just being the Christian thing to do -- because not inviting a classmate or family member might be seen as unloving, favoritism, and exclusion -- which some felt goes against Christian teachings.

I also understand that nowadays, it seems socially expected to invite absolutely everyone.

BUT, how realistic is this? How many parents can afford to throw parties for their kids that include everyone in the class, and/or all their friends and neighbors?

I'm from a smaller family who doesn't really make a big deal out of birthdays, so I was wondering how other Christian families handle this.

* When your child has a birthday party, how do you decide who gets invited? How many people do you invite?

* If you can only invite X amount of people, how do you decide who does and doesn't make the cut?

* Do you get complaints from those not invited (classmates, neighbors, relatives, etc.)? How do you respond?

* Do the people who criticize you invite everyone to their parties, or are they hypocritical?

I'm putting this here in Miscellaneous rather than just the Family section in the hopes of reaching a wider audience (families, single parents, those helping to raise young ones, etc.) If you don't have a family, tell us what your birthday parties were like and/or how you see them organized around you.

I know it may seem like a trivial subject, but not having children myself, I'm genuinely interested in how Christian families approach this.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!
Click to expand...
I usually do small family parties. No, I don't invite everyone... mainly family with kids or we're very close to. Being a Christian doesn't mean having no boundaries or being unrealistic. It's not realistic for me to invite my entire family. In addition I know the people who don't go, but will complain if they don't get invited. Too bad... they complain no matter what so...

I also tell my kids big gift or party. They can't have both, so that helps with money. For school they have to invite the entire class. For church it's a lot more manageable to invite all the kids. Some people do that.

Personally I hate kid parties, going and having them. I assure you I'm not offended when not invited. I'm an introvert and my kid is, so it's usually overwhelming. Last party the kid got in my kids face an inch away and was joking saying "you look familiar. " 😆 I had to pull my kid back before a meltdown. Kids were hitting. Kids were crying. Melting down. Mass chaos. I yelled at my kid for not listening and then was Scolded by the hitting Kids family. Smh maybe yelling at your kid would stop them from hitting. Anyways it's hard to keep the Christian attitude all the time. 😆

In addition having 20 new toys laying around the house sounds like a nightmare...

And you say well at least your kid is happy! Um... not necessarily. He never really enjoys parties. He sits by me bc there's too many kids and they're jumping around pretending to be dogs. 😆 I do enjoy talking and playing games with a few kids and parents at a time.
 
hornetguy

hornetguy

Senior Member
#6
Jan 18, 2016
7,097
1,731
113
#6
Good timing.... we just had our youngest grandaughter's 12th birthday party. Her mother always plans these things.. she has the "organizing spirit" and talent. They always invite just a few of her friends, usually no more than 6 or 7... this time it was 5.
It has always been our thought that a birthday is a special day for that kid, and they should only have their "closer" friends. Too many people, and nobody gets to really interact with each other.

The girls, along with Mama and Nana had a hand-thrown paintball fight. I watched and took pics/video.... I told them I didn't want to participate, because it wouldn't be fair, with me being so much bigger and stronger than all of them.....

in fact, I was scared to get involved... those girls are WAY faster than me....
 
T

TolworthJohn

Member
#7
May 22, 2024
59
14
8
#7
When my kids were small it was themed parties or activities like,e hire a swimming pool or a bouncy castle and have pizza delivered.
Being in a church we could use the back hall and most kids were perf3ctly happy with old fashioned games, pass the parcelled, musical chairs etc etc

Parties today with the number of allergies children suffer from make catering a nightmare.

As our kids got older the party events got more expensive so numbers dropped, a half day paintballing while great fun needed half the parents to drop off and collect.
 
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