The One God-Honoring Conversation Starter That Gets Results

I took my 11-year-old son to breakfast this past Saturday at our favorite local restaurant. The young waitress who took our order wore a small but stunning silver cross that sparkled beautifully.

I said, "That's a beautiful cross you are wearing. What's the story behind it?"

"Oh, thanks. I got this from my parents on my eighteenth birthday. That was about two years ago."

Since she was so young, I did not pursue the conversation further except to say that her parents had very good taste and that she should honor them always.

However, a younger man might have said something like this:

"That's a beautiful cross you are wearing. What's the story behind it?"

"Oh, thanks. I got this from my parents on my eighteenth birthday. That was about two years ago."

"So, I'm assuming you're a Christ-follower like me?"

"Yes, my parents and I still go to church together, even though I live in the dorms on campus."

"That's awesome. I sense you have a Godly character to go with that pretty smile (angelic face, pretty eyes--don't overdo it). I would like to know more. Will you meet me for lunch at XYZ's after work? My treat, of course."


Here's an example with a woman a bit older

You're at the parking lot of your local shopping mall, and a woman about 35 years old pulls up next to you in a blue vintage sports car.

As she locks her door, you ask, "Excuse me, is that a 1976 MG Midget?"

"Yep, sure is."

"Wow, I haven't seen one of those around here in a long time. What's the story behind it?"

Moving a little closer while focusing on the car is probably safe, but not too close!

She tells you that it was part of her inheritance when her father passed away last year from cancer. She and her 14-year-old son love to take little side trips on the weekends. It makes her feel connected to both her father and her son at the same time.

The fact that she's opening up to you like this is a good sign. It means she views you as a stranger, but one that is not going to hurt her.

If you're feeling especially bold today, you could say something like this:

"That's a very moving story indeed. At the risk of you bringing me to tears, I would love to learn more. Would you like to have lunch with me across the street at XYZs after you get done shopping? I can meet you there around noon. My treat, of course."

During lunch, you will NOT be talking about the car! Instead, maybe tell her how the car's color matches her beautiful eyes.

One more example, this time with a beautiful 55-year-old woman

You decide to visit the bookstore inside the mall. You spot a woman, perhaps middle-aged or older, browsing the best-seller section of the store. She is wearing a bright pink T-shirt that says, "Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure."

You boldly step up to her and say, "Excuse me. That's an amazing shirt you're wearing. I'm curious, what's the story behind this foundation."

Well, bucko, you asked for it here! When you ask, "What's the story behind that," you can get a lot more than you bargained for. In this instance, she tells you ALL about the foundation, how it started, and most importantly, how it raises money for breast cancer treatment for women. She is happy to spend about fifteen minutes, but you don't mind since you are starting your first date right there in the bookstore!

When she's finally finishes answering your question, you follow up with, "Would it be proper for a guy like me to volunteer at a local event?"

"Are you kidding?" she replies. "We are always looking for both men and women to volunteer. In fact, this Thursday, we are holding a fundraising meeting at our local chapter at 7:00PM."

"I'll be there," you reply.

When you get to the meeting, you find nothing but women! Young, old, and in between. Even if your lady at the bookstore ends up being married or unavailable to date, you now have others who have sisters, daughters, and in-laws they can introduce you to.

Which brings me to an important point

Eighty percent of those who volunteer for social or religious causes are women. Let me say that again. When you volunteer for a church event or important fund-raising event in your community, you will be met with lots and lots and lots of women.

So, guys, why aren't you volunteering for stuff?

I absolutely loved your range of examples and THANK YOU for including age ranges with further corresponding scenarios! Asking open-ended questions is always a great ice-breaker.

Also, FANTASTIC narration of the breast cancer foundation scenario, as it affects the lives of so many.

Thank you for this GREAT age-inclusive post!

Well I'm not a guy but it goes like this:
I work full time, I have a house and yard to take care of (and garden), I have a dog that needs to be fed and walked twice a day and that spends too much time home alone as it is. I'm on the prayer team at church and meet with them weekly as well as being part of a local improv class. I don't have the time or energy (granted I tend to be a low energy person) to do much volunteering and most volunteer opportunities conflict with my work schedule.

The ladies that can volunteer at those things are mostly retirees and married stay at home moms or on public assistance so that they don't have work to go to.

I do like the idea of asking what's the story behind that, but usually there isn't much of a story to stuff so I'm not sure how much mileage that will get in the real world.

I assume you're not being paid, so your title is technically "volunteer."

Again, if it's not part of your profession, you are technically a volunteer.

Do you have statistics on the number of retirees, stay-at-home moms, and people on public assistance?

A word of advice: Most guys, no matter what age, are extremely turned off by women who come across as judgmental. That's because they feel like they could be next.

Sure, there is. Everyone has a story. It's just a matter of allowing the other person to tell it.

Another piece of advice: It's not only women who are turned off by negativity; it's men of all ages as well.

You know one thing I've discovered turns women off? Lots of pieces of advice.

My grandmother is 92. Somebody has to sit with her while I'm at w*rk, and the lady who sits with her leaves when I get home. When I'm not here with Grandma I'm at w*rk. When I'm not at w*rk I'm here. I don't have time to do anything in between.

The volunteer stuff would have to come to my home. I got plenty of free time, as long as I stay here.

Also it's extremely hypocritical to come in here with multiple posts about what most people want and like without providing any data to back it up then ask someone else if they have statistics for their comments. (Also boring and tone deaf as we don't care what most people want, we're Christian singles often because we're a bit different).

And the one thing you forgot to mention that turns off everyone, people coming in to a place like they know it all and need to lecture all the other poor ignorant souls on what they should be doing.

Please stop shoulding all over the forum, our janitor is on vacation and we don't know where the mop is to clean it up.

Thank you Lynx for showing due respect and not spelling out all the letters in the 'w' word. Some may overlook this simple gesture of civility to those of us forced to w*rk, but not I.