There's no "The One"

Yeah I am very introverted. I need a lot of alone time to feel right.
I'm glad you are happily married! God bless your marriage.

Hmmmm.....deeply pondering, musing about the human condition, frustrated by taboo topics that are a major part of life and mentioned a lot in the Bible, yet somehow off-limits in Christian culture...... yup, PEOPLE WE HAVE IDENTIFIED THE ARTIST!!! 😜

Halfway messin' lol.... but yeah please don't overlook your gifts, God made you this way for a reason. I think if you can find your place and figure out how He wants to use you that will help a lot. I found it helpful to take some personality tests, the MBTI was the one I clicked with the most but there are others like the enneagram. It might help you understand yourself better if you can see your tendencies and traits all laid out on paper by someone who doesn't even know you. It's not a Biblical concept per se, but I don't think it's "wrong".

Artists are great because we aren't afraid to roll up our cuffs and wade into the muck of life searching for important things that have been lost or forgotten. And when we find them we wash them off, polish them up, and present them in a way that makes their value obvious. The muck don't scare us..... oftentimes it's where we're most comfortable even lol 😅.

Anyways..... I'm praying that God shows you your worth and why He put you here on this Earth. It's a wild ride but at least we know how it ends, right? 😉

Best! -Nichole 😁

Yes, I'm an artist. I draw, I paint, I write poems and songs, and I ponder about philosophy a lot. I used to be a Bible Teacher and I studied to be a pastor but never finished my courses.

Why does Carl Jung follows me everywhere I go? I was part of the MBTI community for a long while and I quit. These people are insane. I'm an INTP. What personality are you?

Oh, my life has been struggles. People don't like to be what they're supposed to, or do what they're supposed to. It's frustrating; to hold the truth in your hands and your heart and yet everyone does backwards. I've some of the blame, tbh.

I like you. It's not something I say usually. But you're different. It's like when I read your words I can hear your voice. It sounds southern btw.
Sorry to ask, but tell me more about you.

Oh, that pesky Mr. Jung.... yeah, he's a persistent one for sure. I never really got into the MBTI community stuff but did look into cognitive functions and such to try to understand myself better. I'm an ISFP. So pretty much a walking contradiction . But at least now I know WHY I'm a walking contradiction lol . And true to the ISFP type, I tend to clam up when asked to talk about myself. It's nothing personal though, I'm like that with most people and I don't want to derail your thread .

What would you like to know? I remember years ago someone started a thread where members could ask each other random stuff, that was fun......maybe we're overdue for a repeat . And yes I'm Southern-ish, your guess was correct-ish!

Indeed, if that wasn't for that meddling doctor and his theories. XD MBTI community has a lot of people with mental illness. But I'm used to be surrounded with people like that.
What I want to know? The boring usuals; where are you from? What are your hobbies? Any special thing you want to share as an artist pr as an spiritual person.
BTW, I'm really good at observations.

I've lived most of my life in a small rural-ish community just outside of the Bible belt. I'm a partner/general manager in my family's small agribusiness. I have a cheerfully dark sense of humor and a penchant for the ridiculous. I like hiking and being outdoors in general. I'm too honest for my own good and sometimes I don't know when to not say things 😂. I help out with the youth group at church and in my meager spare time I enjoy making or doing things that make people go "LOL What the heck that's glorious how did you do that....wait WHY did you do that?!?" 😅

Does that answer your question and are you sorry you asked yet, or do I need to keep going? 😜

For real, I should get back to the topic of the thread.... I do believe that God has a general will/ plan that applies to all believers and can be discerned from reading the Bible. But I also believe that He has a specific will/plan for each of us that we can only discern through prayer and seeking, stepping out in faith, recognizing and following the Holy Spirits' leading, knowing our gifts, etc.

For some of us that will/plan will involve meeting and marrying a special person, and for others it will not. But if we can learn to go with the flow of staying in His will then things will work out OK. Maybe not always the way we want them to work out...but still OK.

And in the end He wipes away every tear. So we have that and eternity with Him to look forward to. Plus life here on Earth to live with His help. So anything more is just icing on the cake. But who don't love their cake with a little icing, lol. 😆

Hmmm... Interesting back story. Could be the concept for a sitcom. A cheerfully dark sense of humor. I like that. XD My sense of humor is very similar. It's a mix of juvenile humor and dad jokes. Too honest for your own good; that's a good attribute to have. I say "be honest, or go home". I'm extremely honest and that gets me into trouble. Specially with religious leaders. Not to judge, but I've witness a lot of them who are fake, or not up to the task. Christian leaders should be like Christ, or step down until they are. The job is too serious to be taken lightly.

I was raised in a religious household, but not a Christian one. Christ was just a name they would drop once awhile. Most of my childhood and youth I lived as an Atheist and an Anti-Christian. But Christ changed all that for me. I became even a Bible Teacher. I did a lot of things for the church. But my ego went up to the roof, and God had to humble me. Part of my testimony. My mission is for those who are outcast, and feel rejected by the world and the church. Those are the ones to reach to the most. I feel comfortable around them.

It's nice that you work with the youth. They need a lot of help.
I'm not sorry I asked. With all due respect, I find you to be a very interesting person. I want to know more. So you can keep going.

Well, "The One" exists, or doesn't. But I do believe in a God that's perfect and does perfect things. Love between one another, between a man and a woman are really important. I don't think God would made that just to be a plus in his plan. I think he had a huge reason. I think that reason is truly important. Because there are 3 types of love, and we need to fill our hearts with those types of love. He saw men and saw it wasn't good for him to be alone. If it was good, or He would've thought "well, I'm enough. Men should deal with that." God wouldn't have made me a woman out of man's rib. He has a reason for everything. I think relationships are a huge part of his plan.
Sorry, if I'm rambling a little. I'm a bit tired and I wanted to reply before going to bed.

Well, my screen name is just because I like cold weather, though it can represent how I used to be. Empathy was never something I used to acknowledge before my recent change. Even relatives weren't given any form of care from me. Perhaps in the future my mindset will change and I'll soften up to the idea of a SO. Children are definitely off the table though, lol. I don't like the idea of bringing life into this world. I could be wrong, but I think Paul said it was a good thing for a person to be able to not marry and stay pure. Or, my faulty memory is making me think that's what he said so I don't have to consider a necessity in marriage. Hopefully I'm correct. I definitely don't want to be somehow required to actually spend the rest of my life with someone every single day. That's almost nightmare fuel. Imagining myself holding conversations all day sounds like an impossibility as well as some sort of punishment.

Well Paul did say if you're single, don't get in too big a hurry to get married. But if you're married, don't be impatient to get rid of your spouse.

The most important thing Paul ever said was, he has learned to be content in any situation he finds himself in.

Notice he didn't say he has learned HOW to be content. Just that he has learned it's best to be content.

I was close enough I guess. Lol

I believe with all my heart that because I have prayed for God to bring His choice of man to be my husband, that He will. I reckon if God knows the number of hairs on my head then He would also care about who I marry. It is extremely difficult to wait, sometimes…however, tiredness can worsen it… and I know the Lord has always been there for me to depend on. There is a void in my heart only Jesus can fill even if I had the best husband in the World. I guess ultimately the answer lies in truly trusting Him.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick… so I don’t want to lose hope, it’s a precious thing. God bless 🙂

Oh my goodness, are you my soul mate? haha just kidding! I know exactly how you feel. It sounds like a nightmare to be as well. I am too introverted for someone to be around me all the time.

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Hello, I hope all is well. If not, I welcome you to message me, that I may lift you up.

I am saddened and hurt by the frustration, upsets, and hurt that I see here. I have been single all my life, so I understand. I have been searching for "The One" myself for several months now.

As much as I agree that the only one we need is Christ, God understands that "It is not good for a man to be alone" and that "It is better to marry than to burn with passion." I would daresay that it is not good for a woman to be alone either.

I am sure that you all have heard, perhaps to the point of cliche, to ask and trust God about this matter. I won't bore you with such, but I would highly recommend it!

I hope that you all struggling and suffering here know that He understands and cares. That may be easy for me to say because my search for a godly woman is going well, despite me still being single, lol.

I have several godly friends supporting me through this time, and I find this burden easy to bear because I guess I trust God with my needs and wants; by the way, I am a new convert, so I am sure you can understand my newfound enthusiasm, haha!

My Orthodox friend wished that, at the Tower of Babbel, God would just send Her Person to her in a language that she spoke---perhaps a love language or two, haha!

I recommend that you vent here and pray for breakthrough, which I have. God is so mighty and loving that I believe He will answer you well, and in His unusual, but amazing time!

I am searching for My Person in both church and dating apps, for which I thank God for filters regarding religion!

Lord God Almighty, I pray that my brothers and sisters here lean and depend on you greatly regarding this challenge, and I humbly remind them and myself that our concerns and problems are so small compared to how big you are! May they find rest and learn to make use of the wait!

By the way, I was taught the Soverignty of God at a young age, and, as much as I wish the Tower of Babbel had a specifically happier ending, I enjoy watching God work, even toward this biological drive!

All Spiritual (And Even Material) Blessings of Christ unto You,
Brian A. Shuttlewood

Ha, thanks... I often joke that my life plays in Heaven as a Truman Show-esque sitcom that entertains the angels . But you probably wouldn't find me that interesting if you knew me better, I spend most of my time working and pondering the dark mysteries of existence. Appreciate the compliment though! And I'm slowly learning that a word spoken in due season is the most effective way to be honest. Because even when my comments are 100% correct they can still be 0% helpful lol .

So, it sounds like, based on the post I quoted, that you kinda DO believe in "The One"? I definitely agree that marriage and male/female relationships are a huge part of God's plan for life here on Earth. And the vast majority of us do seem to partake in them, so that checks out. But I can't think of a verse or passage that promises that God has a special someone for everyone . And what about those like @Cold or @Noel25 , who don't even like the idea of having a "One"? Or @Lynx, who is contently indifferent? In that case would there only be a "One" for the ones who want one? I'm not arguing here, just trying to understand your position on the matter.

I just got back from a road trip with my father and I feel like I talked enough for a decade. Even worse is that my father has the ability to talk for 30+ minutes straight. I just don't know how people have the mental energy to have a conversation so often and for such long periods of time. I don't think I'll ever figure out how extroverts operate.

I think there is a one, but not in the way of just one person. My experience is a little like: the one who taught me patience, the one who taught me not to lose myself in people, the one who taught me how to be kind to myself.. I had the one I married, the one who left, I've experienced the one who broke my heart. So there is a lot of ones. And all those ones I thought I kept finding who God wanted me to be with. I got so wrapped up in wanting to be loved, wanting to not be alone I forgot about God. I forgot who would stand beside me and the one who walked with me. I have experienced a lot of terrible things in life, and a lot of abuse from those "the one"'s. In spite of this I still want to love and be loved...
I also think it's okay to not want to be alone in life and I think its okay to want to be loved. Just don't lose yourself trying to find it, in time it will come and if you trust in God and pray you never know He might just answer it.

Haha. That's a good one.

The concept of "the one" seems a bit ambiguous. Is it the idea that for everyone, there's just exactly one person they are meant to be together with, and that each and every one of us has such "the one"? The implication would seem to be that even just one person in the whole world marrying the "wrong" person (someone else's "the one") would quite inevitably cause a chain reaction that messes up everything.

Exactly. It's okay to want something and pursue it, but not to the point that it becomes more important than God.

I've seen people make gods out of everything - facebook, alcohol, motorcycle club, drugs, sports, food, video games - something they pour their whole lives into chasing, because they believe they can make that their identity and get comfort and purpose from it.

Some people have made the concept of getting married and having kids their god. They think it will make their lives complete, and they consider their lives incomplete without it.

Problem is, no spouse can live up to that kind of expectation. You can't find anybody good enough to meet that goal.

Don't get me wrong... Someday I'd like to meet a nice lady and eventually marry her. But I'm not gonna wrap my whole life around that objective. I will never let it be my god.