Do the five stages happen in order? The five stages – **denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance** – are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other. You might hear people say things like 'Oh I've moved on from denial and now I think I'm entering the angry stage'.
Oh my god this was me all this time at first I denied it then I was angry now I think I’m going into bargaining stage soon to be depressed and finally acceptance.
### **Denial**
Feeling numb is common in the early days after a bereavement. Some people at first carry on as if nothing has happened. Even if we know with our heads that someone has died it can be hard to believe that someone important is not coming back. It’s also very common to feel the presence of someone who has died, [hear their voice or even see them. ](
https://cruse.org.uk/understanding-...eing-hearing-or-sensing-someone-who-has-died/)
Wow indeed I felt as if he was still there his presence and voice too.
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### **Be kind to yourself**
The time after someone dies is very stressful. Try to make sure you’re getting plenty of rest and making time for things that relax you.
Amen.
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### **Talk to someone**
If you’re seeing, hearing or sensing someone who has died you might be reluctant to talk to anyone about it. But talking about your experiences will help you understand your feelings better. At Cruse, we can support you through whatever you’re going through. [Find out how](
https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-support/).
Yes.
Anger
Anger is a completely natural emotion, and very natural after someone dies. Death can seem cruel and unfair, especially when you feel someone has died before their time or you had plans for the future together. It’s also common to feel angry towards the person who has died, or angry at ourselves for things we did or didn’t do before their death.
This because I had plans and things I didn’t do before their death.
### **Bargaining**
When we are in pain, it’s sometimes hard to accept that there’s nothing we can do to change things. Bargaining is when we start to make deals with ourselves, or perhaps with God if we’re religious. We want to believe that if we act in particular ways we will feel better. It’s also common to find ourselves going over and over things that happened in the past and asking a lot of ‘what if’ questions, wishing we could go back and change things in the hope things could have turned out differently.
Yeah.
### **Depression**
Sadness and longing are what we think of most often when we think about grief. This pain can be very intense and come in waves over many months or years. Life can feel like it no longer holds any meaning which can be very scary.
Mhmm, it no longer holds meaning.
### **Acceptance**
Grief comes in waves and it can feel like nothing will ever be right again. But gradually most people find that the pain eases, and it is possible to accept what has happened. We may never ‘get over’ the death of someone precious, but we can learn to live again, while keeping the memories of those we have lost close to us.
Hope.
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