How do you know if someone is a true follower of Christ? Apart from believing in Christ how are they so different from everyone else?
A lot of people possess all these qualities you have listed but they don't believe in Christ.
I remember a pastor saying to me when I first came to Christ "A Christian is a sinner who believes in Jesus Christ. An unbeliever is a sinner who doesn't believe in Jesus Christ"
That is a pretty pathetic definition. Real Christians are born again. Even in my darkest moments, and I've had more than my fair share, Jesus has shone through. Often other people see what we do not. When I was first saved, I was serving in the Australian navy. It's a tough environment and I wanted out. My travels led to a break up with my gf. One colleague, who I'd know from recruit days, told me that I was the happiest man he'd ever met. I was amazed.
Jesus is the Light within us. We shine in the darkness. This is not something we can be proud of. A light bulb can be any shape, but it is the electricity that makes it shine.
As we allow Lord Jesus to clean us up in the realm of the soul, there will be less interference in the light that shines through. Have you seen a really dusty light globe? If you clean it, the light shines much brighter.
What is a clean soul? It is a combination of things. First, we need regular cleansing from sin. As soon as we realise we have sinned, we should confess and so be cleansed.
Second, we need to quit relying on self. That is a hard one. People know that sin is bad. But they do not always see that the "good" self is also opposed to God's ways. A good example of this is when Peter rebuked Jesus for talking about death. (Matthew 16:22)
Third, we need our will to become harmonised with God's will. Every Christian will face a personal "Gethsemane". This is when God requires us to do/stop doing something that is incredibly important to us. Abraham is a good example. He was willing to sacrifice his only son.
If you want a light to shine brighter, you also should increase the power. The Baptism of the Holy Spirit is an instantaneous increase in power. But if the soul is neglected, it's like increasing the power of a dirty globe, not anything like as effective.
The truth sets us free - if we will let it. Spend time with God, in His Word. Ask Him to change you - you will never change yourself. All you will do is delay the work that needs to be done and wear yourself out.