Finding out if date is a virgin, married, has children

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presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,162
1,790
113
#1
I got married before the close of the 1900's. Things were different back then, but fornication was still rampant in the US.

A friend of mine recently got engaged. I heard some of his dating stories. One woman he was phone or online dating with that he flew hundreds of miles to go visit, on a visit to family in the area, told him after he got there that she had been divorced. She had plenty of opportunities to share it before. I recently heard someone on YouTube talking about how some single mothers will mention that they have children after dating a man for a while.

When I was young and single, I wanted to marry a virgin. While that is rare these days, it is perfectly reasonable. That's certainly the impression I get from reading the Bible, at least.

I was thinking of doing a video or writing something on finding a spouse maybe someday. I wanted to get some opinions. Is it appropriate to ask these questions on a first day?

I suppose if it is clear it is a date, you could start off saying, half-jokingly, "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?", get a chuckle if you say it right, then ask a few other questions.

Let's say you meet someone at church or through Christian friends, and then somewhere during the date, you say you want to get married to a virgin who has never been married before and gauge the reaction, or ask directly if the other person is a virgin. Is that too rude? Could one pull it off with the right tone of voice?

If you have any kind of deal-breakers, and you can find out just by asking a question, doesn't it make sense to do so up front? The time spent looking for a spouse is precious time. Dating for a while and then breaking up can cause heartache. Isn't it more kind and considerate to get them out there right up front? If you want to marry a musician with red hair, that's easier to find out without causing offense? Would never-been-married-virgins with no children be less likely to be offended by questions or discussion of this topic than those who are trying to be screened out?

I suppose the downside is if you screen out someone who likes you with this, that person might feel hurt, judged, or offended or whatever. The idea that it is immoral to shame 'sluts' seems to be a part of the contemporary morality these days.

When you were dating, would you have found discussion of this topic on a first date to be taboo, offensive, or off limits?
 

SunshineGirl

Active member
Jan 6, 2024
288
191
43
England
#2
I guess I would get to know the person over the phone or by messages before ever meeting up for a date. So I would like to think the person would know if someone had children. I would always ask questions first. I hope that makes sense 🥰
 

Eli1

Well-known member
Apr 5, 2022
4,731
2,033
113
46
#5
He actually said it correctly, but it looks odd. Had he said the nineteenth century we would have a story.
So what year did he get married?
 

Eli1

Well-known member
Apr 5, 2022
4,731
2,033
113
46
#7
Sometime during the 20th century
What an odd way to measure time ... like we're Methusaleh or something.

"Back when i was in school, before the turn of the millennium i met my wife in high school too"
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
19,100
6,580
113
62
#8
What an odd way to measure time ... like we're Methusaleh or something.

"Back when i was in school, before the turn of the millennium i met my wife in high school too"
You have more flair. You are probably more likely to wear socks bearing cartoon characters.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,414
13,762
113
#10
The more likely it is that a specific answer to a given question will cause you to end the relationship, the earlier in the relationship you should ask it. Don't waste your time, and don't waste theirs either.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#11
You have more flair. You are probably more likely to wear socks bearing cartoon characters.
Hey! I got Bugs Bunny socks! You gotta problem wit dat???
 

2ndTimeIsTheCharm

Well-known member
Feb 17, 2023
1,928
1,111
113
#13
I got married before the close of the 1900's. Things were different back then, but fornication was still rampant in the US.

A friend of mine recently got engaged. I heard some of his dating stories. One woman he was phone or online dating with that he flew hundreds of miles to go visit, on a visit to family in the area, told him after he got there that she had been divorced. She had plenty of opportunities to share it before. I recently heard someone on YouTube talking about how some single mothers will mention that they have children after dating a man for a while.

When I was young and single, I wanted to marry a virgin. While that is rare these days, it is perfectly reasonable. That's certainly the impression I get from reading the Bible, at least.

I was thinking of doing a video or writing something on finding a spouse maybe someday. I wanted to get some opinions. Is it appropriate to ask these questions on a first day?

I suppose if it is clear it is a date, you could start off saying, half-jokingly, "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?", get a chuckle if you say it right, then ask a few other questions.

Let's say you meet someone at church or through Christian friends, and then somewhere during the date, you say you want to get married to a virgin who has never been married before and gauge the reaction, or ask directly if the other person is a virgin. Is that too rude? Could one pull it off with the right tone of voice?

If you have any kind of deal-breakers, and you can find out just by asking a question, doesn't it make sense to do so up front? The time spent looking for a spouse is precious time. Dating for a while and then breaking up can cause heartache. Isn't it more kind and considerate to get them out there right up front? If you want to marry a musician with red hair, that's easier to find out without causing offense? Would never-been-married-virgins with no children be less likely to be offended by questions or discussion of this topic than those who are trying to be screened out?

I suppose the downside is if you screen out someone who likes you with this, that person might feel hurt, judged, or offended or whatever. The idea that it is immoral to shame 'sluts' seems to be a part of the contemporary morality these days.

When you were dating, would you have found discussion of this topic on a first date to be taboo, offensive, or off limits?

That topic shouldn't be discussed on the first date. It should be long BEFORE that when the two are just friends. If you talk about such important topics on the first date, you haven't done your homework!


🏄🏻‍♀️
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#17
Oh, for the record, I've asked God to make Bugs Bunny and the others real in Heaven.

Imagine?!?