Transgender pain

Yes he watched women, but he invented a therapy for all in the end. Men not talking about their problems is directly affected in today's society by people like you trying to police people into sucking it up when they could be brainstorming and problem solving.

Ha! You think men are reticent because of social pressure? You give them way too much credit for both adaptability and self-control. Men suck at emotional self control.

They are scary good at finding excuses to not deal with emotional problems though. It's an avoidance mechanism, like women only wish they had.

I'll take my manliness advice from Johnny 3 Tears. He talks about his pain and everything in his music.

"What's so horrible about being seen as female"

You just asked the golden question that I didn't know needed asking. This is my favorite question makes this whole endeavor worthwhile.

I do believe the excruciation comes from being reduced in masculinity once called girl. Females have inflections, body language, female grooming patterns like hair and nails. It's disgusting to me? Like a like or dislike for food some things you're never going to choke down. If a male was called a girl, all he was told, all the time -seriously, it would hurt. The majority of men if forced into a dress would at least complain. As a kid I would sit like a male and my grandmother would try to get me to cross my legs and I never would it freaked my soul out even as a kid.

Let me get into wild territory lol. Stereotypes and Majorities.
Why don't more men wear dresses? Because they aren't that "type" of man. Beer, trucks, not flowers and pretty things. I'm a "type" of male. Not to offend people yes beer and trucks are for women too, likewise flowers for men, but women? ...you'd probably want a prius and white claw or some fruity drink. Woman are so weeeiiirrddd I can't lol.

This is getting hard to explain, I'm aiming for the stereotypes but I don't think I have examples. Prius and white claw are for men too so how is everything not for everyone, yet there are stereotypes, a majority of men wouldn't be happy in pink for example why? Is that not reserved in current society as a majority female expression?

So I feel God's timing for this question is perfect. I just got back from the notary two days ago with my will and advanced directives and the notary, she hands me a floral sparkley pen. I was like, um can I use your black pen? She laughed and said her husband wouldn't touch it either lol. LMAO exactly! It's just gross disgusting revolting intolerable.

So it's the fact that I've ever been associated with as female that permanently makes me want to die, because God can erase it all in heaven. It's the shame, the humiliation of being ever associated with females and femininity, when I am so clearly male and deserve to go to men's Bible study not womens!

"And why does how people see you matter so much to you?"

Man another golden question!!! I'm so happy to answer this one. Because they are "calling me names" might as well be calling me garbage all the time or just insert something horrible.

I wouldn't care so much about what people thought if my pain would simply disappear when called that. I'm fighting for my masculinity to be seen, the majority of men are masculine the majority of females are feminine. So I refuse to be buried alive. Thus I correct misgendering regardless of how they choose to see me in the end.

To a certain degree I don't care what people think because they don't have to walk in agony they're just like "Give your soul to God and you will be female" like it's easy. The people that say I need time and healing don't know I'll never change because to me my pain is not a sin. I can see my chest looking down to type this and yeah God just let me die.

Chest surgery is $15,000ish
Bottom surgery $25,000-75,000ish

I'm not even working because I'm so suicidal so it's not like I'm ever going to be able to afford these surgeries on a 7-11 income anyway.


In response to my childhood pain of my chest
"To a degree, yes. Something initially started it and it was reinforced by your thoughts."

Explain how it all went down in my mind? How do I ask. Kids are innocent. I definitely didn't choose to start having problems with my chest. I think your comment needs so much more elaboration of how that could happen. I wouldn't cross my legs like a girl as a kid either, freaked my soul out. There's too many symptoms for you to explain it all away.

Greetings, thanks for taking the time to go through my post. So my dad may have ignored me, but considering how many dads abandon their kids there should be more of us transgenders I would think, just to start. Besides I started screaming at age 5 in dresses. Before he had the chance not to play with me. I was around 8-11 when that was going on consciously. I grew up thinking I was a girl because "transgender" wasn't around yet. If what you're saying is true, that it's my dad's fault, shouldn't I have sought manhood while he wasn't playing with me and into my adulthood? I thought I was butch lesbian at first. Then I found out through a transgender friend that a male can be born into a female body and I was like dang that's me, except I didn't think I could live up to "he". Ain't that every man's worst nightmare? Now I'm 11 years into the future, totally filling my male shoes by taking care of my family and friends emotional needs as I am a psych major, bachelor's in psychology.

"All men" did not ignore me. I had male and female friends, but mainly male as a kid. Masculinity did not bring me acceptance, I fought then as I fight now. Besides, I didn't have to train myself to like masculinity so that I could get accepted. I just always always was masculine.

"Though it's tough getting out, having something to do other than sit and brood over the pain in your heart would probably do you a lot of good."

Yes and no. Yesterday I spent all day up on this site releasing and arguing my pain. People like you ask good questions and when I can answer them it gets me so happy. I don't have any energy to volunteer too suicidal. Dealing with the pain directly since it's excruciating and ignorable really lifts me up. I was sitting around waiting for people to blame my dad. If I was a girl I would have just cried at not being accepted and moved on with dad issues not gender issues.

"Supposing everything you think is correct and you were dealt just a spectacularly bad hand in life,"

thank you lol. A "spectacularly bad hand" yeah like God took a fast cheetah and caged it it's whole life.

"what are you going to do to make the best you can of what you have?"

I am blessed to not have to pay rent. I've got a friend who's absolutely tortured (sleep paralysis, seeing demons and scary things just for one example) and taking care of them and keeping the phone right next to me in case she needs something makes it better except it's a suicidal trying to help a suicidal lol what can you do.

"Because your future is in your hands and while you may not be able to decide what hurts and what doesn't, you can decide not to let the pain stop you and build up a tolerance to the pain so it becomes less crippling over time"

After 11 years, the pain never stops it has only gotten worse. I will never build a tolerance to being called she. Nice thought though. I wish lol. Actually I went three days at work when I worked without being misgendered. My mustache had grown in, I thought my battle was over. Then when the next time someone called me she, I was beyond devastated. Should have never let myself dream like that.

"Does your pain have to be a sin for you to ask God to take it away from you because you don't want it anymore"

So just to clarify never saw my pain as a sin, but I think what you are saying is have I asked God to take my pain away? Yes since coming to God 5 years ago. Psalm 6, 88, 102, 22, it's all I do actually.

So how (on earth) is God going to erase my history of ever being called female?
I assume you mean making me "whole as female". Not gonna happen.

Thanks again for all your time

"Oh now you're bleeding?" Yes gaslighter I am. It's called a metaphor and I know you know how those work. I'm being genuine you are not and haven't since the beginning of the conversation where you accused me of seeking pity instead of prayer.

Reading through many of the posts, a couple of things seems obvious to me:

1. There is way more going on here than can be helped to any real degree on this thread. There are some deep-seated problems and professional help is necessary unless God does a miracle. A Christian counselor familiar with these issues would be most helpful.

2. Oftentimes, situations are made worse, not better, by well-intentioned people. Certainly a combination of love and truth are necessary for healing, but the misapplication of the two can easily exacerbate the problem. Discernment is necessary to know which and in what order and degree they should be applied.

Having shared this, it's ok to just say...I'm praying for you...to an individual. And if you aren't sure whether to make use of love or truth, the one that never fails is love.

I'd say you're looking at it wrong. The question is not how many children with absent fathers end up identifying as transgender, but how many individuals who identify as transgender (especially those with the same transition as you) had father absence in their background. If that's something significantly higher than the general population, well there might just be a connection. Also you absorbed a lot about life and family and male female dynamics before you were 5. You probably didn't have the mental or emotional development to articulate any of it, and you probably don't remember it. But that's exactly the kind of thing that can affect you and then when you get older and become capable of that conscious observation it seems like you've just always been that way because you can't remember a time when you were conscious of it starting. What several people here are trying to say is that if you ask God to show you if the truth is that you were born this way or if the truth is that something happened before you could remember or understand that messed things up in you, then he might show you the root of the devastation you feel about femininity.



I'm trying to promote a fundamental difference in your understanding. You say the problem is being identified as a female. Half the world is identified as female with, granted some challenges particular to being female , but without feeling shame and humiliation about it. Being identified as female isn't usually a problem for people, but feeling intense shame and humiliation about yourself is. So, I'm talking about God erasing the shame and humiliation. That seems like the source of the pain as I try to follow what you're talking about. Here are some Bible verses about shame and God removing it or not letting his people be put to shame. Psalm 25, Isaiah 45:17 and Isaiah 54:4 and 61:7 .

As I've said from the outset Gender dysphoria is an exceedingly complex issue.

As an adult woman, he gave himself the name Laura, and lived under that identity for eight years. After studying psychology while still living as a woman, however, he says he eventually realized that a person can't actually change genders and that he was delusional. He also later found out that he had a dissociative disorder and multiple personality disorder as a result of his haunting past. "You're not born transgender, something happens in your childhood that causes you to not want to be who you are...And today the only thing that is...socially acceptable is calling yourself a transgender," he said.

Not all his church experiences were bad, however. He found a church that welcomed him in, even with the knowledge of what his struggle was. The pastor of that church told him, "Our job is to love you and it's God's job to transform you."

"The church, what it did for me was it allowed me to really get to the point where I asked the Lord for forgiveness. I began to pray for forgiveness. And I realized that the critical point is understanding that you can accept Jesus Christ, but there's a point where that doesn't become real...until you're walking with Christ," he said.

"Because the real truth that Christ is alive is the fact that you see a transformed life. And so what happened in my life is that when I finally... got down on my knees and was working through these things many years after I had accepted Christ – probably 10 to 15 years after I accepted Christ – I finally felt that I was broken enough as a man that I got on my knees and prayed."

He says that one day he had a vision while praying with his psychologist. He saw Jesus pick up a baby version of himself, look at him and say, "You will now be saved with me forever." From that point on he could feel the Holy Spirit moving and guiding him in his life.

Today, Heyer says he no longer struggles with his gender identity and uses his testimony to speak out in support of those who have similar struggles and against those who advocate sex reassignment surgery as the solution to the gender identity problems.

Today Heyer is married again, and he says that he has found happiness in being the gender that God created him to be.

Loved your comment Cinder regarding God removing the guilt and shame. 👍
Gender dysphoria goes very deep into the psyche of the afflicted.
It cannot be rationalized by saying " I was born in the wrong body".
For some transgenders, going the whole 9 yards is the only option to bring the emotional and mental relief they long for. The alternative, even after extensive counselling is suicide.
Gender dysphoria for many is brutal and sadly ends in suicide. But much has been written about those who transition, have not experienced that long sought after inner peace and end up taking their own lives or de- transitioning.

I believe the individual suffering from gender dysphoria is living a h*llish life of emotional conflict.
I also believe that such an individual can come to the Lord, be saved and still be in conflict and distress.
Is a man who believes he is really a woman born in the wrong body a woman? No. The same can be said of a female believing she is a male. Is she? No. Can she become a male? No.
With reconstructive surgery and hormonal therapy can those suffering from gender dysphoria pass as members of their preferred chosen gender? Some can. Many find it difficult. And as mentioned, some end up taking their own lives or attempting to de- transition.

Will God forgive those who have gone this route? There is only one unforgivable sin that I'm aware of.

A biological Christian female hoping to transition and assume the role of male must not delude herself into believing she was born a male in the wrong body.
Surgical and hormonal intervention could help in passing but there is a myriad of moral issues confronting the individual.

One obvious one would be attraction to a person of the opposite sex. If in God's eyes the OP is still female then if the OP is attracted to women, and is in a relationship does that make it a lesbian relationship. It would have to be. Conversely, if the OP is attracted to males does that not suggest that it is the female within coming to the surface.
As I've said from the outset Gender dysphoria is an exceedingly complex issue.

It's why I'm not worried about convincing a single soul on here. What I'm getting out of this is fellowship with the respectful Christians such as yourself, and so much more. I'm thankful I was even allowed to post, I often wonder when I'll get banned. This is the only place I will post transgender things, I was considering doing a Bible discussion on my excitement that Jesus is God and how I came to know.

A woman who underwent cross-sex hormones and surgery in an attempt to look more like a man later found Christ, detransitioned and launched an organization seeking to help others who face similar discontent with the trans movement.

(Sophia) Galvin is the founder of the Rainbow Redemption Project,* which provides "Kingdom-minded resources" for detransitioners "with the ultimate goal of fully redeeming their lives through the transformative power of Jesus Christ."

Her Rainbow Redemption project aims to help those impacted by gender dysphoria. According to its website, Galvin found no resources to aid her in the "tumultuous" detransition process.

"Through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, she has been able to experience true redemption and healing in a way she never could have dreamed possible," her online biography reads. "So her goal in establishing this organization, is to help other detransitioners actualize this same redemptive power within their own lives, all to the glory of God. She understands from personal experience, that true redemption of a life can only be found through Jesus Christ."

Galvin is also planning to start a Bible study group for detransitioners.

"I would definitely say if I would have known about Jesus and what His love and His Spirit is capable of, from a young age … at the time when I was struggling with gender dysphoria, if someone would have come up to me and said, 'Jesus could set you free of that,' I would have never gone down the path that I went down," Galvin told Stuckey.

Hey there; cool you happened to reply to cinder too about the shame and humiliation.

About that, I am not going to pray to God to take away humiliation so that I can be a girl. I cannot be considered even a tomboy because of the entire reduction of masculinity, a huge step down from masculinity in my eyes and it grosses me out.

Thanks for noticing a lot of transgenders die from gender dysphoria. Yesterday was a suicide anniversary and I spent the day venting here so I thank Jesus for that.

We have differing science research so I don't know what to tell you, at least I provided my research in an earlier post. When someone doesn't source their information what does that mean. I posted my research no one has posted their scientific article; but they sure do know people.

Just while I'm here, no one has answered my question
Matthew 19 11-12 of what Jesus could mean by not all can receive the message.
About Eunuchs. If someone can just type up the definition what contest is that?

It's why I'm not worried about convincing a single soul on here. What I'm getting out of this is fellowship with the respectful Christians such as yourself, and so much more. I'm thankful I was even allowed to post, I often wonder when I'll get banned. This is the only place I will post transgender things, I was considering doing a Bible discussion on my excitement that Jesus is God and how I came to know.

yeah surgeries would have been fantastic six years ago when I was a healthy "happier?" transgender before I realized the full weight of the masculine visibility that has been taken from me. I talk like that, that surgery wouldn't help now, to do my pain justice, but the reality is, if I got the surgery I might try again with God, to love with my whole heart because I can't help it I hate God for using me for whatever purpose he has. I cannot get behind God in it no matter how hard I've tried to strangle some light out of it. I can distract myself from the pain by helping others and that's when I feel a lot of masculinity, a provider primarily of emotional support.

But the reality is, it hurts too much to be alive. So my empathy actually gets crippled and it breaks my heart when I wish I was talking when someone is venting to me.

March 22nd 2023 I realized I had been crying every day for awhile. Time went by, counted out 70 days later and I was still crying. It's October tomorrow, tomorrow I will cry. I'm telling you this because you can see my pain.

Science doesn't say anything, scientist do. I say that because you remember Covid-19? How wrong many were who claimed to be experts? For example here is one study being honest about their findings.

“Certainty in this conclusion is limited by high risk of bias in study designs, small sample sizes, and confounding with other interventions.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7894249/

It concludes

"Despite the limitations of the available evidence, however, our review indicates that gender-affirming hormone therapy is likely associated with improvements in QOL, depression, and anxiety. No studies showed that hormone therapy harms mental health or quality of life among transgender people. These benefits make hormone therapy an essential component of care that promotes the health and well-being of transgender people."

@Greyfray

Is it safe to assume that you are a teenager?

Hey there; cool you happened to reply to cinder too about the shame and humiliation.

About that, I am not going to pray to God to take away humiliation so that I can be a girl. I cannot be considered even a tomboy because of the entire reduction of masculinity, a huge step down from masculinity in my eyes and it grosses me out.

Thanks for noticing a lot of transgenders die from gender dysphoria. Yesterday was a suicide anniversary and I spent the day venting here so I thank Jesus for that.

We have differing science research so I don't know what to tell you, at least I provided my research in an earlier post. When someone doesn't source their information what does that mean. I posted my research no one has posted their scientific article; but they sure do know people.

Just while I'm here, no one has answered my question
Matthew 19 11-12 of what Jesus could mean by not all can receive the message.
About Eunuchs. If someone can just type up the definition what contest is that?

It's why I'm not worried about convincing a single soul on here. What I'm getting out of this is fellowship with the respectful Christians such as yourself, and so much more. I'm thankful I was even allowed to post, I often wonder when I'll get banned. This is the only place I will post transgender things, I was considering doing a Bible discussion on my excitement that Jesus is God and how I came to know.

yeah surgeries would have been fantastic six years ago when I was a healthy "happier?" transgender before I realized the full weight of the masculine visibility that has been taken from me. I talk like that, that surgery wouldn't help now, to do my pain justice, but the reality is, if I got the surgery I might try again with God, to love with my whole heart because I can't help it I hate God for using me for whatever purpose he has. I cannot get behind God in it no matter how hard I've tried to strangle some light out of it. I can distract myself from the pain by helping others and that's when I feel a lot of masculinity, a provider primarily of emotional support.

But the reality is, it hurts too much to be alive. So my empathy actually gets crippled and it breaks my heart when I wish I was talking when someone is venting to me.

March 22nd 2023 I realized I had been crying every day for awhile. Time went by, counted out 70 days later and I was still crying. It's October tomorrow, tomorrow I will cry. I'm telling you this because you can see my pain.

Just while I'm here, no one has answered my question
Matthew 19 11-12 of what Jesus could mean by not all can receive the message.
About Eunuchs. If someone can just type up the definition what contest is that?

Well I'm not sure what more we can do to help you, if you are going to refuse to ask God to take away the humiliation you feel about being in a female body and you can't get surgery, it seems like you're backed into a corner partially by choice (the choice of only accepting one possible solution to feeling out of place in a girl's body).

But one thing you said struck me as odd, that you feel a lot of masculinity by helping people and providing emotional support. And that sounds odd to me because those are things that have traditionally be associated with femininity not masculinity. Now if you've found something positive to do that helps you cope with life, go for it, who cares what the labels are. But it does make me wonder, how do you define masculinity and what types of actions and attitudes are associated with it? And how do you define femininity and what types of actions and attitudes are associated with that?